Abandon
by ThatPanicGirlE
Summary: Bella secretly deals with abandonment issues after her mother and father both die. She goes to live with Billy Black on the reservation and has to learn to live with their rules, and falls for the last person she thought she could love.
1. Chapter 1

**~Abandon~  
ThatPanicGirlE**

**A/N: I am auctioning off an outtake from "Abandon" for Fandom Gives Back. Check out my auction at www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)?id=298&mode=1 (Replace the dot with a .).**

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**Bella**

"Get back in this house young lady," Billy shouted as I ran out the door.

"Shut the hell up and leave me alone, old man!" I yelled back as I walked as fast as I could down to the beach.

It has been three months since my Dad died and it seemed like things were never going to get better. My career driven father decided to play the hero and ended up getting shot by some punk ass kid robbing the Newton's Outfitter shop. The kid was probably going to use the money for booze.

Tears streamed down my face as I worked my way down the hill to the beach. _Who the hell does he think he is?_ I said to myself. _He's not my dad… even my dad wouldn't have acted like this with me._

My mother, Renee died when I was five years old and I'd never even met my father until that fateful day when social services drove me to his house from the airport. My grandmother refused to take me in and Charlie was the only other relative I had left in this world. A year after I moved in with Charlie, my grandmother died.

Things were going ok in my life. I adjusted to Charlie and school became my outlet for fun. I made great friends, one of them being Angela Webber. She was totally naïve when it came to everything around her, but she was a sweet girl. I still have no idea what on earth she ever saw in me. I cause more trouble than good, but she's stuck by me nonetheless.

When Charlie died, my world turned upside down. I was going to be placed into a foster home until Billy Black, my dad's long time friend and fishing buddy offered to take me in. The court almost dismissed the idea due to Billy's health – being in a wheelchair and all. However when the courts realized that it was in my best interest to be around people that I knew, it made perfect sense that I did go there.

My biggest issue with moving there was not Billy, but his son, Jacob Black.

Jacob was younger than me, and also very annoying. His friends were even worse than he was. Their great idea of an afternoon of fun was to spend time jumping off cliffs and proving to each other who had the bigger muscles. It made me nauseas to think of him shirtless. I almost puked in my mouth a little bit at the thought of it.

The trail led down to LaPush Beach. Tons of driftwood sat all over the beach and my favorite piece was right at the end of the trail. I found during the past month that it actually made me feel better to sit at the beach. I reflected on the argument I'd just had with Billy. He got angry with me because I said that Jacob was a dick. Well I meant it. He was. I've spent a month there and already Jacob treats me like he's better at me in everything. I'd finally had enough of his mouth and chewed him a new one. I told him that if he didn't fuck off, I'd show him what kind of muscles I was made of.

Billy obviously hated the language I used in his house and told me that he was doing a favor by keeping me there and I should respect him – and his dickwad son.

I picked up a rock I saw at my toe and threw it across the water. Many more followed and soon I found myself picking up more shells and rocks and pitching them across the water. From behind me I heard, "You should have been a boy with an arm like that."

I almost threw a rock at his head. Jacob was standing right behind me and he scared the shit out of me.

"You should have been a girl with that bitchy attitude of yours," I quickly added.

Jacob threw his head back and let out a huge laugh. "No wonder the state had any problems letting you stay with us. They probably didn't want to put up with your bullshit."

That was all he had to say. I picked up a rock the size of my fist and lunged it straight at his head. It missed him by centimeters but I think it got the point across.

"Fuck you Bella Swan," Jacob said as he walked away.

_Yeah, fuck me and my life_ I said to myself.

**Jacob**

I still have no idea what on earth my dad was thinking when he decided it was ok for Bella to stay with us. I know he felt like he owed it to Chief Swan for all the years of friendship, but this was fucking both of our lives up. She was a no good, flat out bitch of a human being that made it difficult to be around. Even when Charlie was alive, my dad and he did the best they could to make me and Bella get along, and we could never do it.

This morning I got the last bowl of shredded wheat out of the box. Only ten minutes later did Bella come in to make her bowl when she got all kinds of pissed off when she realized it was gone.

"What the hell?" Bella asked. "I just fucking bought this cereal yesterday and now it's gone."

I laughed as milk dribbled down my chin.

"Jacob, you need to go on a fucking diet. Look at your stomach. Your six pack is turning into a keg."

I thought that was a little funny, but insulting at the same time.

"Well at least I don't look like a twig with mosquito bites for tits."

"Shut the fuck up, Jacob Black, before I show you what kind of muscles I'm made of!"

She threw the box at me and milk from my bowl went everywhere in the kitchen. I was about to go completely ape shit on her when my dad entered the room.

"Bella, I saw you throw that box at Jacob. You really need to control your temper."

"But Jacob started it first." _But Jacob started it first _She sounded like a five year old.

"Whoever started it, it doesn't matter, we don't throw things in this house."

I guess that was the final straw of tension she could stand and she snapped.

"Your son is a degrading, jack ass of a human being. He just said that my tits looked like mosquito bites. You should tell your son to quit being such a dick to me."

"Bella, you WILL NOT use that language in my house, do you understand me!" my dad yelled at her.

Her bottom lip quivered with sadness and she was out the door.

"Get back in this house young lady," my dad yelled to her as the screen door slammed.

Dad looked at me as though I just committed some sort of emotional murder and said, "Son, you need to go apologize to her."

"Apologize, she's the one throwing things at me," I said.

"Regardless, get your butt out there and make her feel better."

"FINE!" I said.

I left the house and down the trail to beach I went. When I found her she was throwing shells and rocks into the water. She had an excellent arm on her and as she moved, you could see how great of shape she was in. Her hair blew in the breeze and she looked so cute the way she'd grunt when she threw…

_Wake the fuck up Jacob Black. You can't stand this girl. She's the reason you don't have a bedroom anymore._ I quickly composed myself and finished my trot to the beach.

"You should have been a boy with an arm like that," I said.

I must have scared her half to death and she turned to me.

She had a rock in her hand – a very big rock to be honest.

"You should have been a girl with that bitchy attitude of yours," she spat at me.

Nice come back. She really did have a bitchy attitude herself. "No wonder the state had any problems letting you stay with us. They probably didn't want to put up with your bullshit."

She threw the rock at me missing me by a mile and I had enough of trying to apologize to her.

"Fuck you Bella Swan," I said as I walked back up the trail. Damn that girl was going to be the death of me.

BPOV

I really tried my best to get along with Jacob in all honesty. We've known each other for so long that you think we'd be the best of friends. I do wish it was the case sometimes.

I sat on that piece of driftwood for an hour before I figured it was safe to go back to the house. Sure enough, as soon as I walked in the door, Billy got a hold of me.

"Bella, we need to talk." Well, shit, just what I was hoping wouldn't happen.

"Ok Billy, but first can I say in my defense, your son was being obnoxious."

Billy laughed. He knew it was true. I wasn't the only one that saw it. I think Jacob must be going through puberty or something because his mood swings were driving me insane.

I sat on the couch and Billy started in. "Bella, I know this is hard for you. Hell, it's been hard on all of us. Your father was my best friend and I know you are going through some tough times, but Jacob and I both really care about you. I really do wish you'd ease up a bit on him. For goodness sakes girl, he gave up his room for you."

He did have a point. Their house was only a two bedroom place and Jacob agreed to sleep on the couch so I would have my own room. They sold off my dad's house and I got to keep the money in a special account to only use when I go off to college. Everyone (well Billy) thought it would be the best idea to insure I'd be taken care of… then there was dad's pension plan.

"Ok, Billy, I'll try to start getting along with Jacob. But, I'm warning you, if he gets in my face again, I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from strangling him."

Billy smiled, "That's all I can ask for."

Jacob was nowhere in sight and I relaxed for a bit watching TV with Billy. When it was just Billy and I, we got along ok. He's like the cool uncle I never had, even though he tries to damn hard to be my dad. Billy made dinner later on that afternoon, but I wasn't in any mood to eat after our explosion this morning.

It was getting late and we had school the next day. It was nice of the Forks High School to allow me to stay in my classes there. I couldn't even imagine having to start school with Jacob. He was already enough to handle at home, let alone trying to get along with him on a daily basis.

Jacob ran off with Sam Uley and Quil Ateara, two locals from the res, for their male bonding time. The mere thought of those three all sweaty and bumping against each other again made me gag. However, I will have to admit, and only to me, that Jacob was beginning to fill out a bit. His boyish body was fading into a really handsome, really buff guy.

_Just stop it before you do make yourself puke_. I shuddered off that thought and went back to studying English.

At about ten that night, Jacob dragged his ass back into the house. He was making a ton of noise in the kitchen and I decided that in all fairness of the situation, I'd at least go in to apologize to him – for throwing the cereal box and the rock.

He was going through the cabinets, I assume to look for food. He was always eating. I know a growing boy needs food, but if he kept it up, he was going to get fat. And if sweaty, buff, Jacob wasn't enough to make me feel sick, fat slob Jacob did me in.

"What the hell are you looking for," I asked.

He turned to me, smiled, and turned back to his search. "I'm looking for a box of cereal. I thought we had one more lying around… I'm hungry."

"Tell me something new. Remember, you ate the last drop of cereal in the house this morning."

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Damnit… I'm hungry. Wanna go for a late dinner or something."

I stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking like a dumbass trying to decipher the fact that he just asked me to dinner.

"Um, sure, I could eat."

I think this was his attempt at an apology for eating the last bowl of cereal.

"I'll pay," I said.

He smiled. That was my way of apologizing to him too.

Jacob grabbed his coat of the chair, told his dad we'd be back in a bit, and we drove into town in his beat up Chevy Truck. The thing was ancient, but still ran like the day it was made, thanks to Jacob and his ever greased up hands.

The drive back into Forks from LaPush seemed to take forever in his truck. You couldn't get it over sixty and it was really loud as it roared down the winding roads. We barely spoke a word between us and I liked it that way. We seemed to get along better when there was no talking involved.

We eventually got to the diner and it wasn't packed at all. In fact I feared we'd be too late and then I'd have to hear Jacob bitch for the next two hours how hungry he was. Luckily for us they didn't close until one in the morning. I didn't want to stay long though. I wanted to eat and go back home.

Jacob seemed to order every fucking thing on the menu. _I said I'd pay, not buy you a damn restaurant_ I said to myself. I only ordered a BLT and a glass of milk.

Jacob played with his straw in his soda for a bit then drummed on the table. I watched in amazement at his ADD mentality. He couldn't sit still for shit. He kept fucking with the salt and pepper shakers.

He picked up his butter knife and sat it in front of me. Then he put the salt shaker on the top of it and says, "Hey Bella… what's this?"

I said "Let me see, a salt shaker and a fucking butter knife… what the hell else does it look like?"

He looked hurt when I said that and I said, "I'm sorry Jake; I really didn't mean to snap."

I only called him Jake when we were on great terms. It was my little term of endearment for him.

"So what is it, Jake?"

He smiled and said, "A salt with a deadly weapon." He busted out laughing.

I had to admit it was really funny. I caught myself dying laughing with him and our food finally showed up. He could be amusing and cute when he wanted to be. The rest of the time, I wanted to throw him off a fucking cliff.

**JPOV**

I really wish she'd learn to control her temper. I invited her to dinner with me as a way to let her know I wasn't mad at her. I knew we didn't have shit to eat in the house. I was hoping all the noise in the kitchen would coax her out, and sure enough my plan worked great. She came out of her room with her nosey self to figure out what I was doing.

I know she's still hurting – it's very evident and clear. I just want her to start treating my dad and me with a little more respect. I don't think she realizes what it's like for me to sleep on that couch. At best, the couch is a little over five feet long. I'm almost six feet tall by now. You do the math. I'm hoping she'll calm down soon.

The worst part about it is, before her dad died, we were beginning to finally get along – well sort of. One evening, when Charlie brought Bella over, we spent the night playing silly board games and we got to talking. She finally opened up a tad to me. All her attitude stems from the mere fact that she feels abandoned. Not so much by her Mom, that's something no one could control. She felt abandoned by her grandmother for not wanting to take her in.

She told me that night that she was appreciative of Charlie taking her in, even though he never even knew he had a daughter. It was big news around the town for months after Bella's arrival. People whispered behind his back – as well as Bella's.

The night that Charlie died, I held Bella in my arms. She didn't leave for two nights straight. She'd cry, sleep, cry and then sleep some more. She was so distraught. My dad kept her in our house until the courts tried to remove her. Billy used a ton of money out of his own retirement fund to fight for her to stay in our house. Bella has no idea about this, nor will she ever. I've been sworn to secrecy. That's why it hurts so much when she goes ape shit crazy with me and Dad.

I watched her eat the last of her sandwich and I realized she took really small bites. I was already way done with my ton of food. There was no way I was going to let her pay for all this. The look on her face when I ordered all that food was enough to give me a small pleasure of revenge.

The waitress brought our ticket and I snatched it off the table and quickly gave it back to her with the money inside. Bella smiled. The funny thing about it, I actually kind of liked it when she smiled. She had a sincerity about her when she made an attempt.

We grabbed or coats and headed back to LaPush. We both needed sleep. It was going to be a rough day tomorrow at school with the little bit of sleep we'll get. I for one can't sleep on that couch, and Bella can't sleep because she misses her dad.

We got home right before midnight and turned in for the night. We had a routine already down. My clothes still lived in her room, so before she'd settle down at night, I would go into my old room, grab my clothes, and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She would come back into the bedroom, dress there and wait for me to get out the bathroom. I took showers at night, she did in the morning. It was an unwritten, unchoreographed routine we worked out for ourselves.

I left the bathroom after a quick shower and went to the living room. I heard her go into the bathroom not too long after that. I could hear her brushing her teeth and fidgeting with things in the medicine cabinet. After Charlie died, the doctor put her on sleeping meds to keep her from staying awake often at night. She only took it on Sunday nights. I don't know if she knows I noticed, but I've always wondered why only on Sunday nights.

I heard her click the light off to the bathroom and the bedroom door shut. She had a ton of books that she brought with her. They all sit in crates throughout that tiny room. She told me once that she's read all of them at least twice. I could almost bet she was reading one right now as I drifted off to sleep.

**BPOV**

Morning comes so early on Mondays for me. I think it's from the sleeping pills. I only take them on Sunday nights. There are two reasons behind this. My first is because it's the night before a long week of school. The second, Charlie was killed on a Sunday night and I can't seem to make it through a single Sunday without wanting to run and scream with pain.

I got up, stretched and fumbled all the way to the bathroom. I could hear Jacob snoring his head off. It sounded louder that those damn loggers in this town. I turned the shower on and stood there for what seemed like an eternity. I hoped one day I could explain the gratitude I feel towards Billy for letting me stay here. I could be in some juvenile home right now sharing this shower with twenty other girls.

I dressed in the bathroom, and took the blow dryer to my hair. I'd never cut my hair. I loved it long and the curls that fell when I'd actually take care of my hair were my favorites. Monday also meant gym day. I packed my clean gym clothes and wore my sneakers that day instead of my normal hiking boots.

I finally finished getting dressed when Jacob finally woke up from his log sawing event. He stood up, stretched and I saw something that made me laugh so hard I almost blew milk through my nose. Poor Jake woke up with morning wood and it was so damn apparent in those PJ bottoms he wore.

I quickly averted my eyes from him and ran back to my bedroom. I threw a pillow to my face and laughed until I was out of breath. I was so embarrassed to come out of that bedroom. I had no idea if he knew that I knew but damn, that made me laugh so fucking hard, no pun intended.

Finally, after my good morning laugh, I left my bedroom to find Jacob putting his shoes on. He was fully dressed and ready to hit the road. It sucked only having the truck between us. I didn't drive due to the lack of transportation. I was going to have to talk to Billy about this dilemma. Jacob would take me in the morning to school and Angela would drive me home in the afternoons. Our scheduled worked out that way due to him having to be to school one hour after I did.

The drive to Forks was so embarrassing for me, and Jacob didn't seem to notice my red cheeks. I think he was too busy letting me know his plans for the next weekend. They were going camping and I was glad he was. I would have the house all to me since Billy was going to be gone all weekend fishing with Harry Clearwater, a friend on the reservation.

Jacob dropped me off in front of the school and I went to find Angela. I was sure I would see her with her boyfriend, Ben. Man was he a dork and a half, but Angela keeps telling me there is more to him than his brains. I have yet to see what that something else is.

Sure enough, the moment I went around the corner of the main building, there she was. She was with Ben, Mike Newton (his parents owned the shop where my dad was killed), Jessica Stanley and Tyler Crowley. Tyler had a huge crush on Jessica, even though she was dating Mike. It was a continuous soap opera with all my friends but hey kept me on my toes.

"Bella!" I heard Angela shout, "Come here… we have some juicy news for you."

She was all smiles as I sat on the picnic table with her.

"We have new students." Jessica said.

Angela shot her an "eat shit" look. She apparently wanted to share the news. Jessica took note of Angela's frustration and shut up for her to finish the story.

"Apparently there is a new doctor at the hospital where my mom works. She said the doc is very hot and that his kids are very good looking."

I felt actually happy about this news. There really hasn't been a new kid in school since me and this would take that new girl role off of me for the first time. We sat on the tables talking about the crappy carnival the school wanted to throw for the spring. I looked to the parking lot to see a shiny, silver Volvo pull into the parking lot.

Angela leaned over to me and said, "I think they are here."

**Revised A/N: I felt the need to do an A/N after I got a couple of messages from people wanting to know if this was a Bella/Jacob story or not… it is and just because you see a shiny silver Volvo pull up doesn't mean too much… I felt like my readership suffered because of the introduction to the Cullens… don't worry though… this is a Bella/Jake story and it will continue to be. The Cullens will play a part in this story, but not enough to worry if Bella will end up with Jake… Thanks to all my readers so far and the subscribers… 700 hits and it hasn't even been a week .. Thanks so much!**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I know, I know… if this is a story about Bella and Jake then how come the Silver Volvo makes an appearance anyway? Well, you'll see about that. However, It may not exactly be what you think. Also, my sincere apologies on the formatting of my first page. I wasn't exactly sure how to work the little program thingie, but I think I finally figured it out. So from this point on it should be easier to read. Also I forgot to mention the legal stuff: The characters and stuff belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Thanks so far to the followers and favorites and I look forward to the critiques and comments. You guys rock for even attempting to read this. Ok... I'll shut up now and let Jacob do the talking….

**JakePOV**

My morning started off on the wrong foot. I woke up from a dream about Bella that I should not have been dreaming. And to top it off, I woke up with morning wood from my sexcapade dream. I didn't even realize I had it until I stood up to stretch. I heard Bella rustling around in the kitchen and prayed she didn't see anything. I quickly hid myself and tried to make a mad dash to the bathroom.

She was in her bedroom by the time I walked by and a huge sigh of relief came over me. I took care of business in the bathroom, brushed my teeth and then fought with my hair. I have considered cutting my hair for sometime but each time I would mention this to Bella, she'd freak out and say that if I did cut it, she'd never speak to me again. Having her not speak was worse than listening to her crap all day long.

We barely said a word all the way to her high school. I found it easier to just not start anything first thing in the morning. It seems to make the day go by smoother instead of worrying how to apologize to her in the afternoon.

Bella was very close to being removed as a student at Forks High School. Since she moved so far away, the school district said she couldn't attend anymore. However, according to Quileute law, she couldn't attend school on the reservation. Both parties suggested she be home schooled, but Billy and I both agreed that in order for her to get past her dad's death, she needed to be around her friends. So, again Billy fought for her and the school district to allow her to stay.

Every morning I watched as she rounded the first building at the school to meet up with her friends. I wish Bella knew the mean things that Jessica said about her behind her back. I overheard conversations recently where Jessica thought Bella was using her dad's death as a crutch to get out of doing things. I knew for a fact this wasn't the case and I was two seconds away from telling Jessica to fuck off and to shut the hell up, but I'd kept my mouth shut. If Bella actually knew how I much I really cared about her, it could make things really uncomfortable around the house – as if it wasn't already.

After I knew she was safe and secure at her school, I drove to mine. The ride gave me a chance to clear my mind and to focus on my life. Billy and I were so wrapped up in Bella's, we'd forget about our own needs on more than one occasion.

I got to my high school on the reservation and saw Sam and Quil waiting on me.

"Well if it isn't Bella's chauffeur." Sam said. He really loved busting my balls about how much I did for Bella.

Quil never said anything to me. He was the only one out of the two who knew how I actually felt. He'd give me a smile when I'd say something about a ridiculous thing Bella's done lately. He understood that no matter how much she pisses me off, I do care for her.

Sam thinks she's an obnoxious bitch and that as soon as she turns eighteen, she should be kicked out right away. However, if he knew how I felt, I'd never hear the end of it.

I gave Sam the finger as I walked towards them.

"Tell me she's at least giving you some," Sam said.

It took every ounce of restraint I had to not attack him right there in the parking lot. I also tried to not let it show on my face that I wanted to kill him for saying that.

Quil came to my defense before I had a chance to blow up.

"Sam, come on dude. She's practically his sister. That's just gross."

I laughed nervously and shot Quil a smile. Sam didn't push the issue and let it be. I was saved by the late bell and we went to class. My whole day was spent thinking of how I could get Bella something to drive. After Sam's smart ass remark, I knew it would be a matter of time before someone else said something and my secret would spill.

By the last class I'd come up with a plan to get her a junk car and rebuild it. However, my biggest issue is that I didn't want her to know it was for her until it was done. I also decided to talk to Billy about turning the garage into my room. I could put up a wall or two, add a TV and put a small couch in. Before I realized it, the school day was over. The first thing I wanted to do was head into town and find a piece of junk car I could mold into a workable machine for her royal bitchness Bella.

**BPOV**

My friends and I sat on the picnic table as we watched a red Mercedes convertible pull up beside the silver Volvo. Both cars seemed out of place for our small town, but they were doctor's kids so I guessed that it was a perk of having rich parents.

I realized that no one at our table said a word. In fact, it looked like we were all holding our breath. The red car was driven by a gorgeous, tall, blonde, long-haired girl and a very tall, good looking guy with curly black hair in the passenger seat. I waited patiently to see who would exit the silver Volvo but the late bell rang and I didn't need to be late to English again.

I jumped off the table, looking back to see who got out, but I never saw.

I got to English right before the last bell and sat down in my desk. I sat at the front of the room and I always felt like people were sitting behind me whispering about my dad. This happened a lot though in this school and being in a small town made it worse. I couldn't sneeze without someone in this town knowing about it. I had considered, since returning to school, begging my teacher to let me sit in the back, but I knew people would whisper about that.

I had biology next and my lab partner left two weeks ago - I actually didn't mind. She wasn't exactly a smart girl and that fact kept our partner grade low. Since she left, I'd found it easier to work and get things done. She'd constantly ask if I was ok or how things were going. I still wish people would stop asking.

I got to biology and took my seat and organized my equipment for our lab that day. I was turned to the left at the window gathering some papers and when I turned back to the front of the class, there was someone sitting beside me.

"Oh shit… you scared the hell out of me!"

I turned around to see a girl sitting in my old lab partner's seat.

She was short, with short black spiked hair. She had a very pretty smile and was dressed very well. I quickly realized that she was one of the new kids in our school.

"Hi," she said, "I'm Alice, Alice Cullen."

I smiled back and said, "Hi, I'm Bella Swan."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you earlier," she said.

I blushed, "It's ok. I'm just not used to having someone sit there. My old lab partner left a couple of weeks ago so I've grown accustomed to having that seat empty."

"Oh, I didn't know. Did you need me to move? I don't want to invade…"

"No, no… I don't mind."

The bell rang and the teacher came in. We were discussing plant life cycles and we were looking at slides on the projector of different plants. Alice seemed to know all the answers and I finally was satisfied with a lab partner. She didn't say anything to me the entire class and it wasn't until the bell rang that she said something to me.

"Well, I'm glad I brought all my notes with me. We've already done this back at my old school."

I smiled. She seemed very resourceful. So, I invited her to eat lunch with my friends and I.

"Actually, I promised my brothers and sister that I'd eat with them today. Maybe someday this week?"

I nodded and she seemed to skip all the way down the hall to the cafeteria. _What a strange girl _I thought to myself.

I eventually dragged my ass into the cafeteria. I hated it in there. Everyone seemed to whisper and point at me. It had only been a month, but people just could not accept the fact that I was ok. I was dealing with my grief. I think everyone was waiting on me to burst into tears with even his name being spoken. I had thought of actually putting a sign on my back that read, "Yes, I'm fucking ok… leave me alone," however I'm sure Billy would get a phone call about that.

My normal picnic table morning crew was also my lunch time group. They'd sit around planning hiking trips and surfing down at LaPush. They were all excited that I lived next to the beach now. I haven't done anything exciting or fun since Charlie died and I think I was beginning to get cabin fever at the house.

I looked for Alice as I gathered my food from the ladies in hair nets. I found her sitting with three boys and one other girl. The blonde girl I noticed from this morning in the parking lot was sitting awfully close to the boy with curly black hair. I wondered if they were adopted and realized they had to be. Only the dark haired kids looked alike and the blondes could barely pass as relatives.

I considered going over and saying hi to Alice but changed my mind when I saw him.

He was tall, medium build with dark hair and auburn highlights. He had very sharp, chiseled features in his face and I found myself staring in his direction.

Angela snapped me out of my rude trance.

"Bella, what on earth are you thinking about." She turned her head in the direction I was facing and said, "Oh my!"

I felt myself blush and the guy must have felt someone staring at him, because he looked directly at me.

I quickly turned my head to Angela and said, "They are quite attractive, aren't they."

She nodded and we finally made our way to the table. I watched the blonde guy sit down with Alice and I glanced under the table to see that he grabbed her hand.

It all started to make sense. The blonde girl and curly dark hair were together, and Alice and the blonde guy were together. But what about the really hot guy with the beautiful face? Who did he belong to? And how on earth can a foster parent allow relationships like that under his roof?

I drowned out the conversation Jessica was having with Mike about their plans for the upcoming weekend. I finally couldn't take any more of their useless babble and stood up. Everyone at my table stopped talking and watched as I walked to Alice's table.

Alice smiled in my direction as her blonde boyfriend whispered in her ear. She giggled and waved at me to come on over. Jake would be laughing at me right now saying that I was being a nosey bitch. Maybe he was right.

I stopped right at their table and Alice burst into more giggles and smiles.

"Bella! I'm so glad you came over. I wanted to introduce you to my family."

All of them looked eager to talk to me. Well, almost all. The blonde girl looked like she could have cared less if I was there or not.

"This is my boyfriend Jasper and his sister Rosalie," she said as she pointed to the blonde guy and girl. "And, this is Emmett and Edward." Emmett was the tall curly haired guy that seemed to belong to Rosalie. Edward was the really hot guy with the auburn highlights.

They all said hi and seemed to have a warm personality – and again except for Rosalie.

"So sit with us for a bit, you are the first person to make an attempt to talk to us today." Alice said.

I took a seat across from her and right beside Edward. I don't know what came over me. I've never been one to make an attempt of communicating with people. Maybe it stems from the fact that I know all too well what it's like to be the new girl in school. Or maybe they would have better conversation than the mindless crap that Jessica liked to spew.

I kept glancing over at my other table and they were speechless. I found it funny to watch them get themselves worked up over me ditching them to hang out with the new kids.

"So, Bella, have you always lived in Forks?" Emmett asked.

"I moved up here when I was a little girl. My mom died and the only relative I had left was my dad, Charlie."

"Oh I'm so sorry Bella," Alice said. "And what does your dad do?"

The funniest feeling came over me when she asked that question. Here sat five people who had no clue about my life or the whispers people said about me, my dad and my mom. They were ready and willing to hear my side of the story without it being tainted by other people's opinions. I actually smiled when I thought about it.

"Well, he really doesn't do anything anymore. He was killed over three months ago in a robbery."

They all gasped. "Oh Bella, that's horrible," Alice said.

"It's ok though. I'm dealing. It's just hard for everyone else around me to accept that."

Jasper finally spoke up. I noticed that he had a southern accent and he spoke very eloquently. "Well, I guess you came to the right table then."

"I don't follow," I said.

He looked at all of his family members and said, "We're in the same boat as you, just a different oar."

I still had a confused look on my face. Edward spoke up, "We also were orphaned by our families. So in some weird, fucked up way, you are a lot like us." When he finally spoke, his voice sounded so soothing and sweet. I instantly felt safe around him. I also found myself blushing at the mere sound of his voice.

I then realized my attraction to this family. They were orphans, just like me, abandoned and left for someone else to care for. I felt happier around them, almost as if I really didn't have to pretend anymore to be ok. They knew my pain and I felt their acceptance of me.

I smiled back at Edward. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop looking at him. He wore a really nice button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His hair was a little long on top but styled so well and he even had really well manicured hands. He was the polar opposite of Jacob and that made me like him even more.

I talked with them some more. Alice and Edward were twins – even though they looked nothing like each other. Emmett and Rosalie were in fact a couple, and Jasper was Rosalie's brother, just like I assumed.

They all got adopted over the course of a couple of years by Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife Esme. Apparently she couldn't have children, and since they had money and time to devote to raising kids, they adopted each one of them. I learned so much about them in a thirty minute time period, I even forgot to check on my own abandoned crew.

The bell for class went off and we gathered our items up. Edward walked with me to Trig, because we had that class together. As we walked down the hallway, I passed by Angela, and stopped her to apologize.

"Hey, sorry about lunch."

She looked at me and smiled. She'd never been one to hold grudges or not accept someone at face value. That's why I was so close to her and not Jessica.

"It's totally ok. Jessica had her rant to Mike about him not paying for her lunch again today. I swear she can be such a freaking drama queen."

I laughed. She really had a point about Jessica. Usually, the only reason we tolerated her was because we liked Mike. I realized quickly that I hadn't introduced Edward who stood patiently waiting on me to take him to class.

"Oh, sorry… Angela this is Edward, Edward, Angela."

He smiled and said, "Nice to meet you, Angela."

Angela blushed. He seemed to have that effect on girls.

"Well we need to get to class, I'll see you after school," I said to Angela.

She waved goodbye to Edward and I, and we headed into Trig. He took the empty seat next to me. I kept catching him smiling at me and I'm sure he caught me several times doing the same thing.

I hated for Trig to end because I had gym as the last class of the day.

I really didn't mind today for some reason. After meeting the Cullen family, I felt like someone stuck a ray of sunshine up my ass.

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A/N: Ok... so now you see how the Cullens fit in. Don't worry your little heads off though… Bella and Jake will get back to their charade soon and throwing random shit at each other. Thanks for the comments/critiques, etc… A HUGE THANKS TO CandyP, my editor in charge for the highlights and lowlights and everything in between. Chapter Three to follow soon… and as always, comments are better than rays of sunshine shoved up my ass.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'm starting off with Bella on this one because she's the one with the issues. I haven't had a chance to show the extent of her turmoil, but you'll see what happens when she thinks she's ok, but in reality, she's still in a ton of pain. All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and are used for my entertainment purposes only (and well I guess yours too)…

**BellaPOV**

School was finally out and another Monday was put behind me. If I thought Sundays were bad for me, Mondays could take the cake. I suffer in silence though. If Billy knew how I exactly felt on the inside, he'd try to shove me off on some psychologist or counselor to deal with my pain. That's the last thing I need right now… another rumor about the Swan girl.

Angela was in on it for the past month or so. Instead of driving me straight home, she'd drop me off at dad's old fishing hole where his ashes were spread. It was his favorite spot for him and Billy to catch more fish than we could eat. It was a place for him to relax and I knew that if he could have told me what to do after he died, this would have been his wishes.

Angela would drive me to the dock where my dad's boat still sat in the water. I told Billy that he and Jacob could have the boat at their leisure. I had no use for it… hell I've never even been on the damn thing.

She'd leave me standing on the dock and as soon as she was out of sight, I'd sit down on the dock to talk to my dad. I'll tell him about my week and about how much of a dick Jacob had been that week and how sweet Billy was to try and make us play nice. I would tell him how much I missed him and loved him.

I found comfort in doing this and I would cry but each crying spell got shorter and shorter and I seemed to collect myself better each time. Now by the time Angela swings back to get me, you couldn't even see tear stains or red puffy eyes anymore.

Angela never said a word to me, nor had I expected her to. She let me do my thing but always let me know she was behind me and that she was there for me.

This Monday was going to be no different the previous six or seven. I would meet Angela at her car and she'd drive me to the dock. I always looked around though as we drove to make sure I didn't run into Jake or some of his friends. They would definitely run to Billy with this juicy information.

The drive to the dock was always in silence and even though we had a ton of gossip to share with each other, Angela kept it the way it had been since day one and didn't speak a word. She pulled up to the dock and she didn't even have to remind me anymore to call her when I was ready. She would always get coffee from a shop or do some light shopping while I spent my time with my dad.

I walked to the end of small dock and took my normal seat on the corner. It was always so quiet here and I could see what my dad saw in the place.

"So, Dad, today we had new students arrive," I said out loud.

"You wouldn't believe it but they are also in the same kind of place I'm in right now. They were adopted too by what seems to be a really nice couple. Their dad is a doc and he took over a spot at the hospital. I think I'm going to get along with Alice. She's my makeshift lab partner since Lauren left. At least she's smarter than Lauren."

I thought about Alice skipping down the hallway after biology and it made me laugh.

"And as far as Jake is concerned, I just don't know how to get along with him. He's younger than me and more hormonal than me too. I love that boy to death, I honestly do, and when his thoughts, actions and words don't get in the way, he's fun to be around. I know he's trying to make it work and I feel bad each time I yell at him. "

The tears started to well up again.

"I really do miss the hell out of you, Dad. I feel so cheated. I didn't even know you existed until Mom died and then as soon as we finally start to see eye to eye, you're gone. Everything is just so fucked up now."

My tears started to flow and I cried – really fucking hard.

I left my bag in Angela's car. I kept tissues in there for this specific reason. I felt snot wanting to run out of my nose and I reached to my pocket to see if I had a tissue there.

"Here, you may need this," I heard someone say.

I looked up to see Jake towering over me.

**JacobPOV**

I said goodbye to Quil and Sam before heading out to find something I could fix up for Bella. The more I thought about it, I would miss dropping her off at school, but I couldn't stand by and let people talk shit to me about my life with Bella. Sure it wasn't perfect, and we fought all the damn time; but hell, she was a good girl underneath all that anger and frustration.

I drove to several junk yards and body shops to see if someone had anything I could use to fix up for her. I was running out of luck fast. I wasn't exactly in a hurry to be home either. My dad was out with Harry Clearwater and Bella normally went window shopping with Angela on Mondays. She said it was much needed girl time, especially when she lived in a house full of boys.

I decided to halt my search for the day. I may have to drive outside of Forks to even have a great of junk cars. I turned onto the road that would take me home.

I drove around a small bend when my driver side tire blew and almost sent me into a ditch. I pulled the truck over and got out to inspect the damage.

Ahh, Fuck.

I was instantly screwed. The old truck didn't have a spare tire and my dad refused to let me have a cell phone. I knew it wasn't too far to the little shack that sold bait to my dad and Charlie. In fact, it was right up the path from their old fishing place.

I threw my backpack on and went for the hike. Cars passed by at high rates of speed and I hoped my truck would be ok sitting on the side of the road like that. Hell, even if it wasn't, I was sure no one would really want it anyway.

I walked up to the break in the trees where the old shack stood no more than half a mile from where I left my truck. I walked to the window and it was closed. This was becoming a very irritating afternoon. It was then that I heard a voice that seemed to come from the small lake where Charlie and Dad fished. I looked across the landing to see someone sitting on the end of the dock. I hoped they had a cell phone I could use. I hated to bother them but it was an emergency.

I walked across the landing and made it to the entrance of the dock. I quickly realized the person sitting on the dock was Bella. She was talking to herself and I got a little worried and got closer to her without making as much of a sound as I could.

I heard her say, "I love that boy to death, I honestly do, and when his thoughts, actions and words don't get in the way, he's fun to be around. I know he's trying to make it work and I feel bad each time I yell at him."

My heart fell to my stomach. I stood quiet listening further. She was telling her Dad about her day and about how much she missed him. My heart went out to her and I felt like I could have cried right along with her. She started crying really hard and a huge part of me wanted to reach down and pull her back into my arms like I did the night her dad died and tell her it was going to be ok and that I would always be there for her.

I waited until she started looking around before I handed her the bandana out of my back pocket. I didn't want her to know I was there but at that point there was nothing I could do about it. She gasped and looked up at me with her puffy eyes and I got down on one knee in front of her, and wiped her tears away.

She smiled up at me and said, "Thanks. What are you doing here?"

"My tire blew up the road and I came to the shack to use their phone but it's closed."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. I first called our house to see if Dad had made it home yet and he hadn't.

"Angela will be by to pick me up in a little bit, you could sit with me and then we'll go into town and get another tire for your truck," Bella said.

Her nose was really stuffy when she spoke and it was so adorable. She was almost as adorable as a litter of newborn kittens, that's how fucking adorable she could be when she wasn't calling me a dick or throwing shit at me.

I sat at the end of the dock with her watching the birds fly by and the fish jump for insects in the water. Bella leaned over and put her head on my shoulder and it felt great to have her getting closer to me again. It was unusual for her to be this close to me and it made me remember the night she stayed with me.

Charlie brought Bella over one night when she was put on house arrest for sneaking out. We ended up playing board games all night long while Charlie and my dad watched a game on TV.

After opening up to me about her parents and how she felt about her situation, she was so sad. She had tears in her eyes and I could see that even though she puts on a strong front, she was always hurting inside. After a couple of tears fell, I reached over and brought her closer to me and gave her a huge hug, just holding her in my arms.

Her hair smelled like lavender and I remember it being down for the first time in a while. It flowed over my arms and tickled a bit as she let me embrace her for the first time. She broke free from my intense hold on her, but she didn't completely let go. She looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and instantly a spark was lit between the two of us.

I brought her closer to me again, but this time I leaned in for a kiss. I prayed and hoped she'd allow me to at least show her how much I cared for her - and for the first time ever, she did. Our lips met, brushing softly at first and then taking each other's lips into our own. I felt myself wanting to wrap around her and protect her from everything that was hurting her.

We finished our kiss and it was time for bed. She slept that night just curled in my arms. I have a sincere feeling Billy and Charlie both wouldn't have killed us for sleeping together. They practically had our wedding arranged.

The next time I saw Bella was the night her dad died. I would have given anything to have been able to take away the pain she felt that night. Being unable to ease her sorrow was the worst thing I've had to go through, and I hoped one day she'll see how much she means to me.

**BellaPOV**

I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Jake standing over me. I hated that I was busted and knew that he was going to run his mouth. Jacob took his seat next to me and didn't say anything to me about being out on the dock.

I told him Angela would be by soon enough to pick us up and he seemed relieved. I wondered what he was doing on this side of town, but if he didn't ask me what I was doing, I wouldn't invade his privacy either.

We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity and I put my head on Jake's shoulder. I felt so comfortable being around him in that moment. When I lost my dad, I shut up inside and I really don't know if I can allow myself to get that close to anyone again. The pain I feel inside sometimes keeps me from allowing to love, and be loved. I don't need an expensive head shrinker to tell me I'm fucked up in the head when I already know I am.

I heard Angela pull up to the dock and Jake and I got into her car. She looked at me funny when she saw Jacob but didn't say a word. I guess she figured to not mention anything. She first took us to Jake's truck to get his tire and then to Wilder's Auto to get a new tire put on the rim.

Angela and I waited in the car while Jacob got the tire.

"Bella, do you think Jacob will say anything to Billy about you being out on the dock today?"

"I hope not. If Billy knew, he'd sure try to find a way to get me into some kind of counseling or something. I really don't think I need it though."

Angela looked like she was going to say something back but before she could, Jacob was back to the car with the tire. He loaded it up in her trunk and she drove us back to his truck. Instead of making Angela drive me back to the Reservation, I decided to ride home with Jacob instead.

A part of me wanted to plead and beg with Jacob not to say anything to Billy when we got home. Jacob still never said a word to me and I wasn't going to mention it unless he brought it up.

We got home not too long after Jacob changed the tire. He did it with such speed and I was actually impressed. He had an amazing ability to fix anything he got his hands on. I always called him a grease monkey, but in reality, I was really jealous of him. He always seemed so happy and nothing ever seemed to bother him.

We pulled into the drive of the house and Billy was sitting on the porch. It was beginning to get dark and I knew we were both going to be talked to about being home so late. I was going to cover for Jake but before I had a chance to, Billy started in.

"I don't believe it, were you two spending quality time together?"

Jacob smiled. "Actually Dad, I met up with Bella earlier. Angela had some things to do today and couldn't drive her home. Sorry we're so late, my tire blew on my truck and Bella got me a new tire."

Billy was grinning ear to ear and I knew what he was thinking but I was in shock. Jacob could have told Billy where he found me but he didn't and I was grateful to him for that. However, it was only the afternoon, and Jacob could say a lot between now and eternity.

I walked into the house and straight to my room. I waited for the explosion to take place but no one ever came to my door. Around seven that night, Jacob came to the door and said that dinner was ready. I went to the dinner table and sat down to eat dinner waiting for the fallout.

"Dad, you wouldn't believe where me and Bella went today."

Billy raised his eyebrow to listen.

"I took her to yours and Charlie's old fishing hole. I thought she'd like to say hi to her dad."

I was in shock. Was Jacob trying to get Billy on my case?

"Well Jacob that was a very thoughtful thing for you to do. It's good to visit that spot. I hope it made you feel better Bella."

I shook my head yes but couldn't say anything. If I did I was sure I'd burst into tears again. I looked at Jacob and he smiled back at me. I realized then that he was letting me know that it was ok what I was doing and that he still stood behind me.

I finished my dinner and cleared the kitchen for everyone and went to my room to finish my homework.

I worked through my Trig homework and read a couple of chapters of my book for English. Jacob knocked on my door and asked if he could come in. He sat on the edge of my bed and finally spoke up.

"Bella, I'm worried to death about you, and I'm not trying to start shit with you either. This is coming from the bottom of my heart."

I didn't know if I could handle this conversation. "Jacob, I… I don't know if I'm ready to talk about this. We can't talk about this right now."

"Bella, we need to talk about this. I hate seeing you like this. I just knew things could have worked between us before your dad died. You were so happy then and I was worried sick when you just shut up on me."

I tried so hard to push the words out of my mind. Concentrating on other things didn't work either. I felt the tears forming and I wanted to hide behind my pillow. Instead I hid behind my hands.

"Jacob, please, not right now," I said behind my hands.

He left the room and I could tell I hurt him. He shut the door to my room but before the doorknob clicked, he said softly, "I miss my Bella."

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A/N: It was really hard to write this chapter. I lost a friend last year to cervical cancer and I took all the sadness and frustration I still hold for that and channeled it through Bella. I'm already working on Chapter 4 and it may actually be up sometime in the next day. Again, thanks to CandyP and her mad skills as an editor. And don't forget comments or you'll make Jacob cry…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I am in complete shock at how many followers I have in this short of time. My friend CandyP said this was going to become my new brand of heroin, and I see what she means. I eat, sleep and dream Bella/Jacob right now… I left you with Jacob trying to pour his heart out… Now I'll let you in more of Jacob's mind and what he really thinks of Bella (as if you couldn't tell) … And as I said before, Stephenie Meyer owns these characters, not me…

"La mayor pérdida es lo que muere dentro de nosotros mientras vivamos."

Translation: "The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

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**JacobPOV**

I felt like the wind had been knocked out of my lungs when she said she didn't want to talk to me. For the first time ever I was willing, ready and able to tell her how I really felt and she wouldn't hear it. I went straight to the living room after that and tried to clear my mind of her. It was really hard to do that when she was right down the hall.

I closed my eyes and all I could see was Bella. I put on my headphones to listen to music and all I thought of was her. Nothing I did seemed to break my mental hold on her. I wanted so badly to march into her room and tell her to quit being so fucking stubborn and listen to what I had to say.

Instead of doing what I wanted to do, I lay back on my pillow and reflected on the better times with Bella. I even went as far back as the first time we met.

Charlie brought Bella over to our house for the first time when she was nine. At least that was the first memory I have of her. Charlie had no idea how to raise a little girl. Everything he did he learned from some of the women down at the police station. Other things he just winged and hoped it would turn out right.

I was seven years old and my older sisters, Rebecca and Rachel, were doing the best they could to care for me after my mother died. I felt so alone and missed my mom horribly. I was sitting on the front porch trying to avoid the chores that were given to me when Charlie pulled up in the police cruiser with Bella. He and my dad had been friends for years, and had gotten even closer after my mom died.

I remembered Bella jumping out the front seat wearing jean overalls with her hair in pigtails. She carried a small bag that held markers and crayons. Even at nine, she still loved to color and her dad still dressed her like a very small child.

Charlie walked up the steps and messed up my long hair with his hand. Bella sat down next to me and pulled out a coloring book and asked if I wanted to color too.

"No, coloring is for babies," I told her.

"No it's not… its fun. Why do you have long hair?"

"Because... my sisters won't cut my hair. Why is your hair in pigtails?"

"I don't know. Dad says he likes my hair like this so this is always how it ends up."

She handed me a crayon and we began coloring on a page in her book. We sat there for over an hour coloring each page. From that point on we fought, made up and became the best of friends.

When I see her in pain the way she was tonight, I knew exactly how she feels. I felt the same pain when my mom died. However, I didn't fully understand the meaning of my pain until I was much older.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes at the thought of my mom – or at least what I could remember of her. It wasn't fair that both Bella and I had to deal with death like this at our age. I tried so hard to push back the tears but I couldn't seem to stop. I hadn't cried over my mom in almost two years - and seeing Bella on the dock like that brought up all the demons I thought I'd exorcised a long time ago.

I grabbed the pillow beside me and stuck it over my face and just let it go. I hoped that no one else in the house could hear the crying and the screaming I was doing into that thick pillow or else they would think I was dying. And if I was being honest - I was dying all over again - on the inside at least.

After my crying fit was finally over I removed the pillow from my face and got up to wash the tears off. I passed by Bella's room and still wanted so badly to barge in on her. I kept my composure, though, and went to the bathroom and washed my face.

I placed my hands on both sides of the sink and stared at myself in the mirror for a moment wondering how on earth I'd let myself get this way. I've always cared about Bella and tried to ignore it. I had tried to keep my calm around her and everyone else, but I didn't know how much longer I could do this.

I dried my face and went back to living room. This time I tried not to even notice the bedroom door and kept walking. I plopped down on the couch and closed my eyes.

I fell into a deep sleep and eventually landed into a dream.

I was seven again and stood on the porch waiting for my parents to come home. I waited until dark, then Harry Clearwater pulled up into the yard and asked if Rebecca or Rachel were in the house. They were inside, and I knew that they were worried sick about my parents who were supposed to be home over two hours prior.

I heard Rebecca scream and then heard Rachel say, "No, this can't be happening."

I sat on the porch still waiting for someone to come get me. Finally, Harry came out and picked me up and took me inside. Rebecca and Rachel were crying, and Harry was trying to console them. Sue, Harry's wife, came in not to long after that and worked on trying to calm the girls down while Harry took me back on the porch.

He looked like he'd been crying too. It was then I felt myself get really scared.

"Jacob, son, I don't even know how to begin to tell you this. Your mom isn't coming home tonight."

"What do you mean? Is she having a sleep over somewhere?"

Harry held tears in his eyes and said, "No son, she's not. She's gone away. She won't be back. And your dad, he's been really badly hurt in a car wreck. He's at the hospital right now."

I woke up screaming with tears streaming down my face. I looked over to the recliner and saw Bella sound asleep. She was bundled up with a blanket. I sat up and put my head into my hands trying to collect myself. After I regained control, I really paid attention to the fact that Bella was asleep in the recliner. I wondered why on earth she was there instead of her bed.

I got up off the couch and walked over to her. I shook her shoulder to get her to wake up.

"What?" she whispered.

"Why on earth are you in the recliner sleeping? You should go get back in your bed," I whispered back.

She mumbled like she still wasn't exactly awake yet. And then I heard her, clear as day, say, "I needed to be near you." And she was back asleep as though I'd never woken her.

I tried to focus in on what she said.

"_I needed to be near you."_

I didn't know why she needed to be near me, especially when she pretty much told me to fuck off in her room.

I sat back down on my make-shift bed and watched her sleep. She kept making faces in her sleep and it was when she smiled that I felt more relaxed about her state of mind. I fell back on my pillow and drifted back asleep. Even though I was scared I'd dream again about the day my mom died, I'd hoped for something better – like a dream about my Bella.

**BPOV**

He'd called me his Bella since we were kids. He'd beg Charlie to see his Bella all the time and normally Charlie would oblige and bring me over for the afternoons when he could.

Jacob was always full of energy and would sometimes get me in trouble. We disappeared once for a whole day and you would have thought we knocked off a liquor store by the time they found us. We were down beach watching for crabs to come out the sand and finding shells.

We both got grounded for a week for that stunt, but they let us off the next weekend. Neither Charlie nor Billy could stand to keep us apart.

When he called me his Bella on the way out of my room, my heart sank. I hadn't heard him call me that in over three years and it sounded so good when he said it. However, I also knew that it meant I hurt him.

We've fought so much over the years, though we've never said anything in anger to really upset each other. It always ended in an apology and a movie or a walk on the beach. This time I felt like I'd really pushed the envelope with him and I felt horrible about it.

I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling and trying to focus on everything but Jacob. I wanted him to come back in and talk to me, like we used to talk, but I was afraid I'd really done it in this time. I wanted to get up and run into the living room and give him a huge hug and tell him how sorry I was.

The worst thing about being in this room was knowing that Jacob was right down the hall and I could at any moment go to him. I think it was my fear of rejection that was holding me back. I was so scared that if we got too close, he'd turn me away one day.

There was also that fear of fucking up our friendship – as if I wasn't doing a good enough job of that at the moment.

My conflicting emotions were getting the best of me. I thought I heard Jake get up off the couch and walk down the hall. I went to the door to listen for him - to see if he would check in on me. I heard the water run in the sink and then nothing for a few moments. I heard him open the door to the bathroom and walk back down the hallway.

It was quiet for what seemed like an eternity. I decided to at least go apologize and let him know we'd talk tomorrow. I opened my door with a blanket in hand and crept down the hallway to the living room. He was sound asleep on the couch and he looked so peaceful sleeping and I voted against waking him.

I took a seat on the recliner and pushed the footstool up. I bundled up with the blanket and fell asleep.

I was dreaming about Billy's front yard. I was younger and so was Jake. We were running around the yard playing tag with each other when Charlie came out the door to say we were going home. Jacob and I clung to each other and Jake wouldn't let Charlie touch me. I was crying, the little tears streaming down my face, begging Charlie to not take me away from my Jake.

Charlie looked at Jacob and me and burst into laughter. Billy was sitting on the front porch watching everything and even he was smiling down at us. Finally, Charlie said I could stay for a while longer and he headed back up the steps to Billy.

I got a warm fuzzy feeling deep inside of me that I had missed for the longest time. Jacob looked at me and said, "Why don't you want to leave?"

I looked at him wiping my tears away and said, "I needed to be around you."

I eventually woke to Jacob stirring around the living room. He was already half way dressed and I got worried.

"What time is it?" I asked him.

"I let you sleep a bit this morning. I'll just be late for school. It's no big deal."

I smiled back at him. I felt like he wasn't too upset about our run in last night and got up to take a shower. I quickly washed not even worrying about my hair. I'd put it up or something today. I got dressed in the bathroom and walked to the living room with my book bag in hand.

Jacob and I rode in silence again this morning but there seemed to be a little less tension between us this morning. When he pulled up in front of the school, Jacob looked to me and said, "Bella, about last night…"

"Jake, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean…"

"Bella, it's ok, really it is. When you are ready to talk, you let me know."

I smiled at him. He smiled back and said, "Have a great day at school. I'll see you when you get home."

I got out the truck and shut the door. I looked behind me to see Jacob sitting there like he'd always done since he started taking me to school.

As I rounded the corner, I heard him leave and my heart felt full. This time it wasn't because of anger and frustration, but a little more room for happiness had been made.

I walked up to our usual spots for my picnic table crew. There was something different about this arrangement though. Ben wasn't around and Angela looked like she'd been awake all night.

I immediately walked straight up to her. Her eyes were puffy and she was really sad.

"Angela, are you ok?" I asked her.

She shook her head no and I grabbed her by the hand, heading straight to the tree that was across the lawn. I had to get her away before she cried in front of everyone else. I knew what it was like to walk around with tears in your eyes and have people talk shit about you even if they had no idea what the fuck was going on. Damn kids could be cruel.

"What happened?" I asked her.

She tried so hard to catch her breath and she couldn't do it. She looked like she was about to hyperventilate and I just grabbed her and hugged the hell out of her. She hugged me back just as hard, and eventually she calmed down enough to let me know what was going on.

"Ben broke up with me," she said.

"That little bastard. What the fuck is his deal?" I asked angrily.

As much as Angela had been there for me, I knew she needed me just as much at this moment. I wanted to go find Ben and grab him by his balls and drag him across the campus.

"He said that we needed some time apart because we were getting too serious and it scared him."

My heart went out to her. I knew what it was like to lose someone permanently - but to have them roaming around the school not being able to acknowledge their existence had to be just as awful.

She sniffled a bit and I reached into my bag and pulled out a tissue for her. She slid her glasses up to her head and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Bella; I didn't mean to bring all my drama on you. You've got more than enough to deal with and it's not fair."

"Never apologize for letting me help you – especially as much as you've done for me in the past. I owe you a lot more."

She smiled. I loved having a best friend that I could share all my pain with. She composed herself and picked her bag off the ground. Not too long after that, the bell rang.

"Angela, you go on ahead, I'll be inside in a minute."

I sat down on my book bag at the base of the tree. I wanted so badly to cry for Angela and her pain. It was the first time in a while that I felt someone else's hurt, and it was beginning to be too much for me. I put my head in my hands and wanted to hide away from everyone. Even the little bit of happiness I felt with Jake first thing this morning seemed to be slipping away.

This was what I feared most about relationships in general.

Angela loved Ben more than anything on this earth. But when he didn't want to be with her anymore, it was as simple for him as saying he didn't need her. I felt the tears forming again and I was tired of pushing them away. I just couldn't handle this anymore.

"Why?" I said, "Why in the hell should I have to go through this. Haven't I gone through enough?" The tears then started to fall again. The rain started to fall and I again realized yet another thing I hated about Forks. I stood up wiping the tears off with my sleeve.

I couldn't go to class like this today. I thought I was getting better but the past couple of days seem to have pushed me back into hole I tried to dig myself out of.

I pulled up the hood over my head and walked away from the school campus. I was going to walk until I couldn't walk anymore and I didn't care where I ended up. I put my ear buds in and turned on my iPod and got to walking.

**JacobPOV**

I felt better when I dropped Bella off. I decided earlier this morning as I watched her sleep that I needed to let her work through her problems before I went in trying to fix them for her. I think I got caught up in the moment over her sadness that she felt for her dad.

I was going to be late for school and I was ok with it. I knew Sam was going to give me shit about letting Bella ruin me but I was also prepared for it too. I pulled into the parking lot just before the bell sounded for school. Sam and Quil were waiting for me and hated to even get out the truck.

Over a year ago, Sam had this thing for Bella but she didn't seem interested at all for him. I really didn't blame her for the many times she turned him down for a date. One night, after countless rejections, Sam got angry with her and pinned her up against the wall. She was being her smart ass self again and it had gotten her in trouble. However, Bella was stronger than I thought and she kneed him in the balls. Ever since then, he'd tried to save face by talking shit about her.

As I walked to them, Sam yelled out, "Hey Quil look, it's Mr. Bella Swan. What did the wifey not want let you out of the house today?"

I thought I was prepared to deal with Sam this morning, but I found that I was mistaken. I dropped my bag and walked as fast as I could toward Sam. I could feel the anger building in me as the fear entered in his eyes.

I was two steps away from him when my fist hit his face. It hurt like a bitch - but damn, it felt so good.

Sam was my friend but I'd had entirely too fucking much of his mouth.

He was on the ground and I stood over him daring him to get up. Quil looked as though he'd seen a ghost. He went pale and then pulled me back. I watched Sam carefully as he wiped the blood away from his nose.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Jacob," Sam asked.

I had no idea, but I knew I couldn't face a day at school with these assholes. I walked away from Quil and Sam and got back in my truck. I had no idea where I was going but I knew that I needed to just drive, until I couldn't drive any more. I didn't care where I ended up.

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A/N: I know, Jake's last POV was kind of short, but you see, sometimes when two people are trying to walk away from each other, they end up in the same place… Again huge props to CandyP and also to my editor Cathy at my local newspaper for allowing me to write this chapter at work today. Oh and an EVEN bigger shout out to my hubby for taking the kids out tonight so I could write. Your comments are the things keeping me from running away from my problems so keep up the good work!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I was so sad for Jake and Bella in the last chapter. Things do get better, and eventually, something's got to give… Also don't forget, Bella and Jake are the kids Stephenie Meyer always wanted, AKA, they belong to her….

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**JacobPOV**

I squealed my tires as I pulled out the parking lot. My hand was throbbing and I'm sure I'd cracked something but I just didn't care. There was no turning back to go to class at that point, so I figured I'd drive around and find something to occupy me until school got out.

I was also sure it would be no time before my dad found out what I did to Sam.

I drove back towards Forks. I thought I'd take my time today. After everything that had gone on between Bella, my dad, and me - I deserved a break. I thought about going around town to look for a junk car for Bella again; it even crossed my mind to drive all the way to Port Angeles to see what I could find.

I started up the road that led to Forks High School and saw someone walking down the side of the road that looked eerily similar to Bella. I couldn't be sure, because whoever it was had their hood pulled up. I got closer and realized that I recognized that book bag.

I pulled to the side of the road just ahead of her and got out into the pouring rain. She was soaked from head to toe and she looked like she'd been crying. I stood there watching her walk towards me as the rain soaked my t-shirt. She looked up at me and she looked so lost and hurt. I wanted to run to her and hold her so bad - but I was scared if I did she'd refuse me.

She got less than three feet from me and lifted her head again. The rain was dripping off her face and I couldn't tell the tears from the rain drops. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I wanted to hold her, and I was going to - damn my fear and everything else that was holding me back.

I took her face into my hands and she said, "Jacob, please, I can't deal with this pain anymore…"

I reached down and kissed her softly on her forehead. She grabbed my arms and I thought she was going to snatch them off her face. Instead she reached and put her arms around me and laid her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her welcoming her back into my embrace.

She then pulled herself away from me. She looked up at me with those big brown eyes that always found a way to melt my heart when she would actually look at me. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity and I finally caved.

I pulled her hoodie down off her head and then put my hands back on her face again and she closed her eyes. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers.

Her lips were soft and inviting. She kissed me back with more passion than I thought she would. Her lips pressed harder against mine and she took my bottom lip between hers and it was all over for me. She wouldn't let me go either – not that I minded.

The kissing eased up a bit until we were barely letting our lips brush against one another. She opened her eyes as she leaned away from me. She didn't seem to be crying anymore but she looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry Jake for everything. You've been so patient with me even when I couldn't be patient with myself and I've wanted nothing more than to be able to tell you how I felt about you."

I felt like my heart just dropped to my stomach and I instantly got butterflies.

"And exactly how do you feel about me?" I asked her.

She started blushing as the rain eased off us.

"Jacob Black, I've been in love with you since the first day we met on the steps of your dad's house."

I was speechless. I couldn't say anything back to her. I had thought about how I would tell her I loved her every single day since we met on the front porch.

I reached down to kiss her again and I felt so elated and so relieved. For the first time in three months, my Bella was back in my arms, and I hoped she would never leave me again.

**BellaPOV**

My iPod kept me company for a while as I walked down the wet road to wherever I was going. The music playing acted as my marching orders and I wouldn't stop until the battery died. I kept thinking of Jacob and how much I needed to talk to him, to apologize for my behavior for the past three months.

I also thought of Billy and how much he'd done for me. I found myself facing my problems the further away I tried to get from them. I knew Billy was going to be very unhappy with me when he found out I cut school today. I tried not to think about the fallout that would occur when I got home.

But the one thing I couldn't get past was what to do about Jacob. I loved him more than I allowed myself to believe and I was scared to death of losing him. I've already lost so much in my life that if my friendship with him failed, it would be too much to handle. But if we were to end up a couple, who's to say he wouldn't get tired of me and move on to another girl? I didn't know if I would survive that.

As I thought about the option of allowing Jake to know how I felt and what the consequences would be, the tears started to fall again. The further I walked down the road the harder it rained; and a huge part of me wanted to turn around and head back to the school to see if I could get Jacob to leave school early to get me.

I heard a familiar sound coming up behind me but I didn't dare look up to see if I was right about my assumption. I kept my eyes to the ground until I couldn't resist the view. I glanced up to see that familiar rusty colored Chevy truck pull in front of me.

Jake got out of the truck, walked around to the back bumper, and just watched me walk towards him. I was hoping he'd at least come rescue me out of this rain but he didn't budge. The rain was falling hard on him and his shirt was becoming more soaked by the minute.

I got no more than three feet from him and suddenly all I wanted was to reach up and hold him close to me.

He reached down and put his hands on my face. I wanted him to tell me I was ok and everything was going to be alright, just like he did the night my dad died.

I looked up to him and said, "Jacob, please, I can't deal with this pain anymore…"

I grabbed his arms because I wanted him to take them off my face and put them around me. I don't think he understood what I wanted so I went for it. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my head into his chest. Finally, he understood what I needed and wrapped his arms around me.

I looked up to him - wanting him to kiss me and show me that he felt the same way.

He reached down, softly brushing my lips. I don't know what happened, but it unleashed something inside of me that made me want him more. I kissed him harder, holding him closer to me, begging him not to let me go. He seemed to respond to my yearning and let me take control of the kiss.

I finally broke free of our embrace and looked at him with sad eyes. I wanted so badly to tell him what I'd been trying to say for over ten years.

"What's wrong?" he asked me.

I didn't know how to answer this question because there wasn't really anything wrong with me. I was scared to death to say what I wanted to say. I just blurted it out. I told him that I was sorry for everything I'd done the past three months to hurt him. I also told him that I was scared to death to tell him how I truly felt about him.

Then he asked the question I feared would come next: "And exactly how do you feel about me?"

I wanted to run. I didn't know if I could even put into words how I really felt for him. I loved him so much that it hurt to be around him and know that deep down inside that if I let this go, I could lose him forever.

I finally told him that I was in love with him and he responded with the softest kiss I've ever felt. Nothing else needed to be said. I was right back where I should have been all along – in my Jacob's arms.

**JacobPOV**

My biggest fear after we finally cleared the air between us was how on earth we could keep this secret away from Billy. I'm sure, if the situation was different, he'd be ok with us as a couple. This was different though. Bella and I lived under the same roof and I knew Billy wouldn't allow the dating to occur under it.

I got Bella into the truck and she was shivering she was so cold. I tried my hardest to think of where we could go to get her warmed up and nothing came to mind. I was so scared she'd get sick.

Finally I decided to visit Sue Clearwater. She'd been a huge mother figure to me since my mom died and I'm sure she wouldn't let Billy get mad at us for skipping school.

Harry was at work and the kids were in school. I drove straight to Sue's house and as soon as I pulled in the yard she was on her front porch waiting for me.

"Jacob Black, what on earth are you doing out of school?"

Bella then came around from the other side of the truck. She looked so pitiful with her rain soaked hoodie weighing her down. Sue saw how wet and cold she was and instantly made Bella go inside.

"What on earth happened to you two?" Sue asked as we went into the living room.

"Well, Sue, I'm not going to lie to you because you'll find out eventually anyway. Sam started in on me again this morning and I finally had enough and popped him square in the nose with my fist."

I held up my hand to show her the bruised knuckle that I was sure I'd broken. Bella gasped and said, "Jacob, what on earth-h-h possessed you t-t-t-o hit Sam?" She was shaking so bad her teeth were chattering.

Sue then spoke up, "Never mind that, we'll discuss that in a minute. Bella, we need to get you out of these clothes."

She led Bella back to her room and they were back there for sometime before emerging. Bella was wearing a pair of PJ bottoms and a T-shirt. Her hair was wet but brushed back behind her and she looked like she was warming up.

Bella took a seat next to me on the couch while Sue heated up hot chocolate for us both. She even brought me one of Harry's T-shirts to change into. Finally, after fussing over us way too much, she came back into the living room to find out what possessed me to punch Sam.

"So let me get this straight, Jacob. You punched Sam in the nose? What on earth would make you do that?"

I felt a little embarrassed but I've never been one to keep anything from Sue. And even though Bella was in the room with me, I felt I needed to explain my side of the story.

"Well it's quite embarrassing to be honest Sue. Sam has a bad habit of getting on my nerves about Bella. He was starting in on me first thing this morning because I was late and I'd finally had enough of him. So I punched him in the face."

Sue actually giggled a bit. "Did it make you feel better?"

"Actually no, it didn't. My hand is probably broken now and I also owe a huge apology to Sam."

Bella giggled at the thought of me punching Sam. She probably felt a little more vindicated from her previous run in with him.

"So instead of facing the fact that you'd just punched your best friend in the nose you take off from school, I assume?"

"Yes, that is correct, to an extent. I felt like I couldn't be at school today. I had a rough night last night."

Bella looked down at her cup and didn't say a word.

Sue then turned her attention to Bella and said, "And what's your reasoning for not being in school right now?"

Bella blushed and she didn't seem to want to answer. I shot her a smile to let her know it was ok to talk to Sue.

"Well, Mrs. Clearwater, my friend Angela told me today that her boyfriend broke up with her and it hit me pretty hard, too. I got upset and decided that school wasn't an option for me today."

"So how did the two of you end up together?"

"I found Bella on the side of the road walking away from the high school."

Sue sat back and sipped on her hot chocolate for a bit. She then sat up and looked at both of us and said,

"Well, you know what I think the two of you should do this weekend?"

Bella and I both looked at each other with worried looks on our faces.

"I'm going to talk to Billy and tell him that the both of you have been under way too much stress for kids your age. Harry and I are taking Seth and Leah camping and you two should come along with us."

We exhaled with a sigh of relief. However, I didn't know if it was going to work. Once Billy found out that Bella and I both cut school, he'd be furious.

"Sue, my dad is going to have a cow when he realizes that we cut school. I'm sure he won't let us go."

Sue got up and went into the kitchen. She grabbed the house phone and dialed a number. Bella and I both stretched our ears to hear what she said.

"Yes, hi Billy, it's Sue Clearwater. Listen, I have Bella and Jacob here…. No they aren't in trouble or anything. Listen, we've been talking about this weekend… Billy they are fine… No they didn't cut class… Jacob had an altercation with Sam… No he's not in trouble… Bella's fine too… No Billy, she needed a break too."

It seemed like poor Sue couldn't get in a word edgewise with my dad. Finally she got frustrated enough, "William Black, will you quit worrying and let me talk?... Thanks… Now, I was talking with Bella and Jacob... and Billy, in all honesty, they need a break. The two of them have been through so much in their young lives and they need to feel like kids. Harry and I are taking Seth and Leah camping this weekend and we would like them to come along…"

Bella looked at me and I looked back at her as Sue was quiet for a bit. Finally we heard her say, "thank you Billy… Now you take it easy on them when they get home… We'll talk to you soon, and I'm sure we'll see you next Sunday for the football game… bye Billy."

Sue walked back into the living room. "Well, now it's settled, the two of you are going with us this weekend. If Billy gives the two of you any trouble you let me know."

That's what I loved most about Sue. She was a very strong woman who knew how to handle people.

I remembered one night not too long after my mom died, my dad jad just gotten out of the hospital and he wasn't dealing with things very well. He barely said a word to my sisters and I. That night, I accidentally spilled milk on the floor and Dad went off on me worse than he ever had. I was in tears when I went into the living room. Sue was there helping Rebecca and Rachel with the laundry and when she saw my tears she instantly picked me up and held me in her arms.

She found out that my dad yelled at me and she went directly into the kitchen and ripped him a new one. She wasn't scared to hurt his feelings. From that point on, my dad didn't argue with Sue Clearwater.

Once Bella warmed up and her clothes were dry, we changed our clothes back and I gave Sue a huge hug. Bella, who I'd never seen hug an adult other than her dad, reached over and also gave Sue a hug. That put a smile on my face.

Sue looked at the both of us, dry and ready to go home and said, "You two have so much going for you… don't let the little things get you down ok?"

We both shook our heads and went to the truck. I opened the door for Bella and she seemed to be in a better mood. I got into the driver's side and Bella slid over to sit closer to me. She smelled so good and it felt so right for her to be sitting that close to me. We both waved at Sue as we took off down the road to our house.

Ironically the sun started to peep out of the clouds as we headed home.

**BellaPOV**

At first I thought Jacob was insane for going to the Clearwater house. But then once I thought about it more, Jacob was really close to Sue, so it was definitely the best idea he'd had since he decided to skip school. I'd probably still be on the side of the road if it wasn't for him doing that.

When Sue got me back to her room to change clothes, she asked me something I didn't even know she could pick up on.

"Bella, are you and Jacob a couple now?"

I looked at her wide eyed and unable to answer the question. I didn't want to lie to the woman. She was the closest thing Jake had to a mom and I felt I owed it to her to tell her what I felt.

"Mrs. Clearwater, in all honesty, I don't know."

She grinned at me and said, "Well when you figure it out, let me know. I've had bets on you two since the day you met."

I felt my cheeks blush and then she handed me a clean shirt.

"Bella, I just want to see the two of you happy. The both of you have been through more than what is fair for kids your age. My heart goes out to you both."

After our long drive home, I already knew that Billy would be waiting on us. As soon as we pulled into the gravel driveway, there he sat on the porch, waiting to pounce.

Jacob looked at me and said, "You know, Bella... I've been thinking about something since we were on the side of the road. If Billy finds out about things between us, it could get really weird around here and fast. I don't want to hide from Billy, but I think it's best."

I felt like Jacob was already calling us a couple. Were we a couple? I instantly felt my cheeks turn a shade of red. Jake must have noticed and asked me what was wrong.

"Are we a couple?"

Jake looked at me a like I hurt his feelings. "Bella, well I assumed, since we talked…"

I smiled at him and said, "Well you better tell Sue then. She asked me if we were and I told her I didn't know. She made me promise that once I knew, I'd tell her."

Jacob laughed. He squeezed my hand and we got out the truck. We both knew we were going to have to keep up the angry brother/sister act around Billy. As soon as we got to the steps, Billy had a scowled look on his face. He knew he couldn't yell at us and it frustrated him beyond anything.

Before we could walk into the house, Bill turned to us and said, "Jacob, Bella… I don't need to know what happened today because if I do it will get me angry and Sue will be on me like white on rice. But I will say this - whatever it was, if it happens again, the both of you are in major trouble."

Jake and I tried so hard not to laugh as we walked into the living room.

I plopped down on the couch and Jacob sat down next to me. I reached for his hurt hand and it looked so bad. I got up from the couch and headed into the kitchen to get him some ice. I reached for a wash rag and wrapped a bit of ice in it. I went to turn from the freezer to go into the living room when Jacob was standing right behind me.

He pinned me up against the refrigerator and leaned down and kissed me with so much excitement I dropped the rag filled with ice on the floor and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. We were standing in the middle of the kitchen and at anytime Billy could have come in and it would have been all over for us.

We didn't care at that moment. We kissed like we'd never see each other again and I didn't want him to stop. We heard the front door close and we instantly split up. I was on my hands and knees on the floor picking up ice when Billy wheeled himself into the kitchen.

"What did you do this time Bella?" Billy asked me. I tried not to look up at him. I knew if I did, my red cheeks would bust me. "I dropped ice I was getting for Jacob."

Billy just let out a huge sigh and left the kitchen to go watch TV. Jacob looked down at me and had a shit eating grin on his face. He got down on the floor to help pick up the ice. Once we were done, we were both on our knees, our heads level with the counter top.

Jacob reached over and put his hand on my face and rubbed my cheek gently with his thumb. He leaned over and whispered into my ear, "I love you. I'm glad to have my Bella back."

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A/N: Now see don't we all feel a little bit better? Don't get too comfortable though. Things aren't always sunshine on a cloudy day… SpEsHuL thanks to CandyP who by the way has released her very first chapter for her story, Pas de Deaux: .net/s/5439137/1/Pas_de_Deux ... this lady's got ways with words for sure… oh and she recommends you go back and re-read the part of Jacob and Bella making up and listen to "A Whole New World" from Aladdin… that was what was playing the background while she proofed my story… aren't kids great ;)


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: And now I re-introduce the Cullens… They'll be a huge help later on but I do want you to keep in mind, THIS IS A JAKE/BELLA STORY… And yes, SM owns everything, except the camping equipment…

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**JacobPOV**

Kissing Bella instantly became the one thing I craved more than anything in my life. For the next couple of days, when we had free time, we'd spend it in make out sessions that would leave the both of us out of breath and wanting each other so bad we couldn't stand it. I was a virgin -so was Bella - and we hadn't even discussed the subject. I wanted nothing more than to make her mine completely, but I was also scared to even bring it up. We'd gotten this far and I didn't want to tempt fate.

By Thursday morning, we were stealing glances at each other from across the room and in passing would make loving gestures towards each one another. When Billy would go to bed, Bella would come in the living room. We didn't necessarily grope and make out the entire time. Most of it was spent with her lying in my arms and holding me close to her. I would lay flat on my back on the couch and she'd lay on me near the back of the couch, nuzzled right under my chin. The smell of her hair was so sweet and it reminded me of cherries.

We were going camping with the Clearwater's after we got out of school tomorrow. We both packed our things tonight, and even though my dad looked defeated in attempting to ground us for the rest of our lives, he was excited to see us doing something together.

"Jacob, I'm glad to see the two of you getting along. I don't know what's happened, but I'm just happy."

Bella heard what he said from across the kitchen while she stirred the stew we were having for dinner. She smiled at me and blew me a kiss. Billy was completely clueless with his back turned away from Bella. I hated having to do this to my dad, but it was for the best.

Even Bella's friends that week noticed an improvement towards her attitude. She had made a new friend who just moved here - Alice, I think. Bella seemed to like her a ton. She said that Angela was still moping around school, but seemed to be doing better than the beginning of the week. What really bugged Bella was that she couldn't even tell everyone at school about us. She was so scared it would get back to Billy and we'd be in loads of trouble.

I was also trying to keep our secret from Quil and Sam. I finally apologized to Sam for my behavior Tuesday and he accepted ; even saying he'd take a break from busting my balls.

That night Billy went to bed early and we listened out for the snoring to start. Bella tip toed down the hallway and met me on the couch. I lied back on the couch and she put herself in our favorite hold on one another. She sighed, and I could tell something was on her mind.

"Are you ok?" I whispered.

She sighed again and said, "This is only the third night of us sneaking around and I'm already scared that we'll get caught. I also hate lying to Billy."

"I know, Bells, but this is the only way we can make this work. You and I both know if he found out, one of us would be out the door. I can't risk that for you."

She sat up, digging her elbow in my ribs by accident. I tried to not show how much it hurt and finally she moved. "Are you saying that you're not sure if this is worth the risk?"

Figures she'd take it the wrong way… "No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that we have to do this to make it work."

She smiled and put her head back on my chest.

"Well even if he did kick one of us out, I'd go after you no matter what," Bella whispered to me.

She wrapped her fingers around my hair. She still refused to let me cut it. I've only been able to trim my hair since we were kids. She tickled my nose with my own hair and we both giggled. We heard my dad's snoring stop and we both froze.

We lay in silence for what seemed like an eternity and then he started back snoring. We both sighed and she sat up, I did the same so she could sit in my lap. This was her sign she was ready to go to bed.

Bella brushed my hair out of my eyes and traced the edges of my face with her finger tips. She did it so softly, barely touching my skin. It felt so good as she traced down my chin and then brushing her thumb across my lips. I kissed her thumb and put my hand to her face. She leaned in and kissed me softly, first on the right cheek, then on the left. She pulled back to match my gaze and we stared into each other's eyes and I completely got lost in hers. I didn't want to break our staring contest up but I knew we both needed sleep. I reached towards her and she met me half way and our lips met. Chills ran down my back, as it has done the last one hundred times since Tuesday.

She pulled away from our kiss and said, "I need to get to bed. I have to enjoy this night's sleep, considering we'll be sleeping on the ground for the next two nights."

I wouldn't have cared if we were sleeping on spikes, as long as she was going to be there with me. I gave her one more soft but quick kiss before I told her I loved her.

She got up and walked about five feet away. She stopped, turned and looked at me for a second. She hurried right back to me and reached down and kissed me again. "I love you," she said.

"I love you more," I said back. She smiled and turned again to walk away. I heard her say as she walked away, "I don't think that's possible."

**BPOV**

Friday was going to be a long day for me. It always seemed like the days were longer now that I had a reason to get home each day. I knew that being with Jacob wouldn't make the empty space I felt inside of me clear up, but it was definitely patching up some rough edges.

Each morning on the way to school since Tuesday had been spent with Jacob holding my hand and kissing me as much as he could. I thought my lips were going to fall off by the time the weekend was over. Between the cooler air hitting them and Jacob constantly having to have them against his, my poor lips were beyond chapped. I'd become addicted to Chapstick. But trust me – I'm really not complaining. Jacob knew how to push my buttons in a good way and each make out session seemed to become more intense.

This morning I woke up to a small bouquet of wildflowers next to my bed. Jacob had gone outside first thing this morning and picked them. That was the most thoughtful gesture. I finally got out of bed and forced myself to get dressed. I hated to leave Jacob and I knew that as the weeks moved on, it would get harder.

I tried not to focus on all that in my shower that morning. Billy was up earlier than usual. He was sending us off that morning and Jacob was going to sign out early to get me from school. Jacob also spent the morning packing his truck with our supplies for the trip. Sue called again this morning to remind Billy about the camping trip, like she'd done each night since she invited us. Billy would just nod his head and say yes to Sue.

I ventured out of the bathroom with my hair still dripping wet and got dressed. By the time I finished, Jacob was done with loading the truck and Billy was on the porch. I grabbed my bag of essential items for the weekend and my book bag and headed out the door. I gave a quick kiss on the cheek to Billy, which freaked him out a little bit.

He waved to us as we went down the gravel road to the main road. I slid over next to Jacob as soon as we passed the bridge for the creek. He put his arm around me and held me close to him.

We pulled up in front of my school and Jacob turned to me and said, "I wish I could kiss you goodbye each time I drop you off." His face looked sad and I smiled at him.

"One day Jacob, when we figure out how to deal with this." I kissed my hand and put it on his face.

I grabbed my bag and got out the truck. I shut the door, standing there for a moment looking at him. He waved at me and I walked to the school, looking back every chance I got.

When I got to our picnic table I noticed that we had a few more members than we once did. Alice and her brother Edward joined our group more often now. Edward was really nice to hang around. He had a great head on his shoulders and was just as smart as Alice. Alice, Angela and I had become great friends.

Alice took Angela out last night to a movie to try to cheer her up and it seemed to have worked. Angela was all smiles when I got to her. Alice glanced up from reading a piece of paper. "Bella, good you're here, I've got some great news."

She looked like she could have exploded with excitement. "What's up Alice?"

"My family is going camping this weekend; and my dad said that we were going to be near the area where you are going!"

I smiled. I loved the Clearwaters, but I really had no idea how to act as a family around them. I felt very nervous about trying to do so. Alice and Edward being there might ease my fears a bit.

The day seemed to drag on so slow. Lunch was fun though. We combined the Cullens with the picnic table crew and everyone seemed to be getting a long fine – everyone except Rosalie. I got a really angry vibe off her all the time and I never quite understood her behavior towards everyone. This weekend, I figured I'd bring it up to Alice and maybe she could give me some kind of insight as to what was going on.

When lunch ended, Edward stopped me in the hallway. I had Trig with Edward, and normally we walked to class together after lunch. Our discussions were very general, to say the least, but it had somehow become our routine since his first day

"Um, Bella... I've been meaning to talk to you about something...can I have a minute before we go to class?"

Everyone filed away from us as we stood next to the lockers, and Edward leaned up against them. I hadn't paid as much attention to his good looks this week, thanks to Jacob occupying my mind. But, with him standing with his hands in his pockets and a grin that could light up the night sky, I couldn't help but take notice.

He smiled down at me and said, "About this weekend… Alice tells me you'll be there."

"Yeah, Sue Clearwater, a friend of the family, invited me and my friend Jacob to go with her family. She said we needed to get out."

Edward pursed his lips together. "Are you and Jacob an item?"

I felt my cheeks warm up. I wanted to say yes, because I felt like Edward was trying to make advances towards me. If I said yes, then it would go back to Alice and I didn't want her to think I was hiding something from her. Plus, I didn't know Edward enough to trust him with that kind of information. I figured I could fight off the advances.

"Actually, no. I just live with him and his dad. "

Edward grinned down at me.

"Well... would it be too much trouble if I to take you to dinner one night soon?"

I blushed again. Why did I blush? Edward wasn't exactly the guy I had my heart set on, yet he could make me blush at the drop of a hat.

"Well, I'll be honest with you Edward; I'm really not into dating at the moment."

His facial expression didn't change. He didn't even look defeated. He just stood smiling down at me. I felt like this wasn't going to be the last time this conversation took place.

"Well, Bella, we'll see you this weekend. I can't wait to meet your friend, Jacob."

Instead of walking with me into Trig, Edward turned away from me and walked down the hallway with his hands still in his pockets. I hoped that I hadn't hurt his feelings - but Jacob was my guy and I wasn't about to let anyone interfere with that.

I wouldn't be in Trig for long. Billy sent a note I dropped off before my English class this morning to let them know I was signing out early to go with Jacob. I was suddenly very thankful for that note.

I walked into Trig and Edward grinned at me as I walked through the door. I blushed, hung my head to avoid eye contact and went straight to my seat.

Angela kept looking at me odd and she reached across the aisle with a piece of paper.

_What's wrong?_

I didn't realize I was being that obvious with my expressions.

_Edward asked me out on a date._

I handed the letter back to Angela. As she read it, her jaw dropped. She furiously wrote back:

_Are you kidding me? What did you say? Please say you said yes. He's a total hottie. All the girls have been after him since the first day his family got here._

I didn't know how to answer her. I wanted to tell Angela so badly about Jacob and me. It just didn't seem fair that I had to keep that kind of information from my best friend of all people. I finally wrote back:

_I told him I wasn't into dating anyone right now._

I slipped the note back to Angela again and she shook her head, looking very puzzled.

I mouthed the words, "I'll tell you later."

I glanced up at the clock and realized it was time for me to leave. I gathered my books up and stopped at the teacher's desk to let him know what was going on. I turned my head back one more time to wave to Angela, but instead saw Edward staring in my direction again. Angela didn't see me, so I bolted out of the classroom.

**JakePOV**

I left school early today to get my Bella. She was waiting on the front steps when I came around the drive. She had a huge smile on her face, but it seemed a little on the fake side. When she got in the truck, she gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.

"I missed you," she said.

I've seen Bella a thousand times before that afternoon, and I could always tell when something was bothering her; and when she was trying to cover it up.

"What is bothering you?" I asked.

She sighed, "Is it that obvious?"

I looked at her confused. "Is what that obvious?"

She looked at me and said, "I got asked out this afternoon."

My first reaction was jealousy. I didn't like the idea that some guy had been hitting on my Bella.

My fears were immediately eased a bit by the sight of her facial expression.

"Why is that so bad? I mean, I know you told him no, right?"

"Of course I did! However, he asked me if you and I were an item, and I told him no."

I could feel her frustration. I pulled her close to me and she nuzzled her face into my chest. She looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. It felt like a child looking up at their parents wanting something they couldn't have. She hated lying, I could tell… and I felt like this could be our downfall.

"Angela even said that I should have said yes."

I sighed. "Bella, we'll figure this out soon I promise you."

I reached down and kissed her on the forehead as we pulled away from school. We were meeting the Clearwaters at their house that afternoon and I couldn't wait to spend the weekend away from our troubles.

*****************

We took the Clearwater's SUV to the campsites. It was beginning to warm up each passing day, and we knew that meant a full blown spring was on the way. The trees and flowers already started to show the signs of it and that made for great camping weather. The weather report also showed no rain for the entire weekend. That was a rarity around here.

We got to our campsite, and there were enough spaces for three tents. Sue and Harry packed a two man tent for themselves, one for their kids; and Bella and I packed one for us.

I wasn't sure if this was the exact arrangement Sue had in mind, but she smiled and told me the third spot was for us. Harry glanced at Sue, and she shot him a look as if to keep his mouth shut.

We worked setting up the tents for an hour. Ours was a little more difficult to set up, but Bella seemed to have it under control. . When we were done, we tried to help Harry and Sue set up the rest of the stuff for the campsite - but they shooed us away. Sue suggested that we take a walk down the trials and just relax.

Bella and I smiled at each other and we started on down the bumpy mountainside.

We got out of eyesight from the rest of our little group and I grabbed Bella's hand as we walked deeper on the trail. We came upon a small stream with huge boulders on the side of it. I took one boulder and she took one on the opposite side of me.

Bella looked more relaxed than I had ever seen her before. She looked up at the trees that acted as a canopy from the sun and she smiled and then looked back down at me. There was a small breeze and it blew her hair into her face and she laughed as she brushed her hair out of the way. It was good to hear her laugh and I felt like for the first time in months she was happy.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked as she stared off into space.

Her face fell a bit. "I was thinking about Charlie. I'm sure he would have loved this."

She didn't look like she could cry though, and I realized that she was finally starting to get past the pain she felt after his death.

"I know he would have. Do you remember the last time he took us camping?"

She giggled.

Charlie decided that we needed to spend time in the woods – become one with nature – that sort of thing. He picked me up from my house early one morning and took us up a small mountain to a nature trail. He said we were going to do some backpacking with only the bare essentials needed. Bella looked like she wasn't going to have a good time at all.

About a mile up the trail, it began to rain. It wasn't a short drizzle like we have all the time. It was a full blown monsoon style rain. Charlie hated to be defeated and said we'd have to continue. He walked about twenty steps further up and turned to Bella and I.

"Screw this," Charlie said as he walked back down the trail past us.

Bella and I both looked at each other and burst into laughter as we stood soaked in the rain. We followed him back down the trail. He took us home, got changed, and we went to a movie that night instead.

I watched Bella smile as she remembered that day and then tears started to form in her eyes. She looked down at her hands and wiped the tears away. Then she looked back up at me.

"Jacob, I miss him so much."

I got up off the boulder and walked to her. I took her into my arms and held her tight to me. She didn't cry as hard as she normally did when she talked about him. I pulled away slightly and wiped the rest of her tears away.

"Bella, it's ok to miss him as much as you do. When my mother died, I don't think a night went by that I didn't cry for her. You eventually get rid of the tears and it does get easier."

"I know, but right now it feels like it will never get easier. The only thing I have going for me right now is your love for me."

I pulled her closer to me again.

"Jacob, if I were to ever lose you, I don't think I could make it in this world anymore."

"Don't worry, Bells, I'm not letting you go… ever."

We decided that it was time to go back to the campsite. The trail started to get darker as the sun was beginning to set over the mountain side. We walked to our picnic table when I noticed a short, black haired girl. I looked at Bella and she said,

"That's Alice, the girl I was telling you about."

Alice was standing with a blonde woman and they both were talking to Sue.

As we got closer Alice noticed us and she ran straight over to us and gave Bella a huge hug.

"You must be Jacob," she said. She had a very pixie like quality to her. Most of the time girls like that would annoy the hell out of me, but Bella loved her to death, and I couldn't say anything.

"Yes, I am… and you are Alice, right?"

"Correct. I'm so glad you two finally got up here. We've been waiting on you to come back up. My family is in the campsite next to you."

**BellaPOV**

I looked over and saw Emmett and Rosalie as they sat on the picnic table playing cards. Jasper and Edward were putting firewood in stacks next to the campfire and I saw a blonde man at his very nice Lincoln Navigator pulling some bags out of the back.

Edward stopped what he was doing and lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. I found myself staring, but quickly diverted my eyes once he realized I was looking in his direction.

I was hoping that he wouldn't come over, but by the time I turned my head he was already on his way. I stood closer to Jacob and Alice kept going on and on about something to Jacob.

Edward stopped short of us and said, "Glad to see you guys got off the trail."

He smiled down at me and I tried to get Jacob's attention. Jake turned to face Edward.

"Oh, hi," Jacob said. "You must be Edward."

Edward didn't smile. He just kind of glared at Jacob. "And you must be Jacob."

I felt the tension rising between the two of them and I looked at Alice.

"Well we'll be getting our tent organized for a bit. You should come back by after dark and we'll all sit around and talk."

Alice, also noticing the tension, quickly replied.

"Sure. I'll bring the marshmallows."

She grabbed Edward by the arm and practically dragged him away from us.

After Edward was out of ear shot, Jacob looked down at me.

"What the fuck was that about? He acted like I just took away his candy or some shit."

_You kind of did,_ I said to myself.

Jacob and I got into our tent and started to set up our sleeping bags.

The night came on faster than I thought it would. Harry started our dinner. We had hot dogs and baked beans he roasted over the campfire. Just as Alice promised, her family came over not too long after we finished dinner.

She came straight over to me with two people I assumed were her parents.

"Bella, this is my mom and dad, Esme and Carlisle." They both were very attractive - and so young looking.

"It's so nice to meet you," Esme said. "You've been making my Alice feel more at home. We are very appreciative of it."

I smiled at her and nodded. They took their seats near Sue and Harry. Seth and Leah were busy next to us making smores and the rest of the teenagers all gathered around the other side of the fire. I was scared to death that Edward would make a scene. Jacob and I tried or hardest to keep from acting like a couple. Every time I caught myself sitting too close, I'd slide myself a little farther away.

Alice talked our ears off the entire night. Jacob took it in stride though. He listened to everything she had to say and even carried on a conversation with her. I barely said a word.

I caught Edward looking over at us every once in a while, but he kept his distance and talked to Emmett and Rosalie the majority of the time. I was relieved. It started to get really late, and the kids were yawning. Esme and Carlisle stood up and thanked Harry and Sue for their hospitality.

All the Cullen kids stood up to follow suit, and waved as they said goodnight. I headed to my tent and looked back to see Edward, staring back at me as he walked away.

Jacob and I settled into the tent as we heard the crickets chirping behind us. I crawled into my sleeping bag and Jake finally got comfortable in his. He brushed the hair away from my face and kissed my forehead. I nuzzled right up under his chin and I fell asleep instantly.

***********

The next morning I was awake before anyone else. I had to use the little girl's room and it was just up a small trail from the campsite. The sun was already coming over the horizon and the sky was a beautiful shade of orange.

I got to the doors of the women's bathroom and found them padlocked. I got so frustrated that I kicked the door.

All of a sudden, a man came out of the men's bathroom and it scared the hell out of me.

"Fuck, Edward, you scared the shit out of me," I said as I grabbed my chest.

He laughed as though it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to scare you. You may have to use the men's restroom. Alice was just up here not too long ago and had to use it."

I walked in, shutting and locking the door behind me. I tried to stay in there as long as I could so when I got out I didn't have to run into him. I made origami out of paper towels and finally decided it was time to emerge.

When I stepped foot outside the door, Edward was still sitting on a small bench

"You really do take a long time in there you know."

I rolled my eyes and tried to walk away.

"Wait Bella, I need to talk to you about something."

"What Edward?" I said annoyed.

He sat back down on the bench and patted the spot next to him. "Here, take a seat."

I reluctantly sat down beside him. He turned to face me.

"Bella, all you had to do was say yes yesterday."

I looked at him confused and said, "I don't understand. I told you I wasn't interested in dating anyone right now."

"Not about that silly girl. I mean about you and Jacob. You could have said that you were a couple and I would have left you alone."

I looked at him with a shocked look on my face. "Edward… we're not…"

"Bella, give up the theatrics. You are so a couple. If you could have only seen it from Alice and mine's perspective last night you would have thought so too."

_Oh fuck!_ I thought to myself. I had been trying so hard to keep away from Jacob that it was too obvious. I looked at Edward sheepishly.

"I'm sorry for lying to you, Edward, but you have to understand. I did want to say something yesterday."

He smiled.

"Bella, it really is ok. Alice and I understand more than you know. When Jasper and Rosalie came to live with us, my dad had a complete shit fit when he found out that Jazz and my sister were a couple. He was ready to ship Jasper back to the home he came from. Esme stepped in and said that she couldn't allow it to happen."

So he wasn't trying to hit on me again.

"Edward, again I'm really sorry. It's just that if Jacob's dad finds out about the two of us, we'll be separated and I don't think I could handle that."

Edward's face expression didn't change.

"Well I guess we'll just have to help you keep this secret then."

I smiled back at him to say thank you. We got off the bench and walked back to the campsite. When we got closer to the tents, Jacob was already out and pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He looked in my direction and when he saw me with Edward, he all but threw the cup on the table and marched right for us.

"Bella, where the fuck have you been? I've been worried sick about you!"

Edward spoke up.

"Sorry, I was asking Bella her opinion on some relationship matters. She'll fill you in later."

Edward nodded at me and walked back to his campsite.

Jacob looked at me and said, "What the hell was that about?"

I smiled and said, "He knows."

Jacob looked at me as if I'd grown three heads and said, "Did you tell him?"

"Nope. He guessed. However, he knows to keep his mouth shut."

"What about Alice, does she know too?"

I nodded.

"Bella, damnit girl, do you realize what could happen now?"

I looked up at Jacob and said, "Those two understand us more than you think."

I walked Jacob back to the tent, telling him about the couples that lived under the roof of the Doc and his wife. Jacob listened, and he looked more and more relieved.

Finally, when I finished the story, he looked at me and said, "Well if Billy does ever find out, we may need to get the good doc to come over – not only to pick my father up off the floor after he has a heart attack, but to also talk some sense into him."

I giggled and we went to eat breakfast with the Clearwaters.

****************

A/N: Sooo... the plot thickens… I had so much trouble writing this chapter. I wanted so bad for Edward to try to fall in love with Bella and for Jacob to keep her regardless, but it just didn't seem right. So I decided to base Eddie C.'s character after my own best guy friend, who would do anything to make sure I remained happy … Special thanks to my friend CandyP for the edits (and for also clearing up what kind of vehicle C. Cullen drives… apparently there is a difference between a Navigator and an Escalade) and to my other good friend BellaCullen12634 for the hospitality at her house while I write. Don't forget to read CandyP's "Pas De Deux"…. Or I'll throw marshmallows at you …


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I'm so thankful for all the awesome comments I've gotten since posting chapter 1 of this lovely story… The fact that anyone is even reading this makes me feel great about writing it… I've been working on my book for over two months and I haven't gotten as much positive feedback as I have on this… This chapter was also hard to write but a lot of emotional things are beginning to happen as Bella and Jacob both realize that they still need to grieve… And it will get sappy… Stephenie owns everything in this story… except the skillet… it's mine Stephenie... you can't have it!!

*************************

**JacobPOV**

Breakfast with the Clearwaters was definitely a treat. Even though we were camping, Harry cooked a great breakfast consisting of eggs, bacon and even pancakes on a cast iron skillet over the fire. I glanced over to the Cullen campsite and noticed they were sitting around doing the same thing. I watched as the blonde guy, Jasper put his arm around Alice and nuzzled his head into her hair. All the Cullen kids, except Edward, seemed to be with the love of their life.

I almost had a shit fit when Bella told me that Edward and Alice knew about our relationship. I didn't know them from Adam and just knew that it was all over for us. But when she didn't seem worried, my fears eased up. When she told me the story of how the Cullen kids came to be and what they'd been through, I realized that they would be more of an ally than an enemy. It took a big load off that there were two less people we had to sneak around in front of.

After breakfast, we helped clear the table and clean up. The kids wanted to go for a hike and Bella and I were exhausted. I was glad when Harry and Sue told us to stay behind. Sue winked at Bella and me when they walked away up the trail. I had a feeling she purposely planned the trip like this. And if that was the case, then we had two more people to mark off the list.

Bella sat across from me on the picnic table. She pulled her hair back behind her and put a clip in it. I loved it when she didn't hide behind her hair and I could get a good look at her. Her color seemed better since she started sleeping more, and the dark circles under her eyes were fading more each day. The sun shone down on her brown hair and I noticed she had flecks of red in it. She was staring off behind me and I got her attention.

"What do you think about sitting on the dock and feeding the fish for a while?"

She grinned and didn't say anything for a minute. Then she reached her hands across the table and took my hands into hers. I felt my heart flutter and it always felt so good when her hands were in mine. A small breeze hit us and I got chills down my spine. The mere touch of her skin sent electricity through my body.

"Jacob, do you know how lucky I feel to know that you are sitting right in front of me?"

Her brown eyes stared into mine. Suddenly, I felt the love I'd been missing my entire life looking at me with deep sincerity I'd never thought she could possess.

"Bella, do you know how lucky I feel that you are in my life? After my mom died, it took me forever to get over the pain of losing her. Then when you came into my life, everything changed. I watched you grow from an awkward little girl to this gorgeous young woman, and it makes my heart hurt when I look at you. I feel like I wasted so much time fighting against you and not working to fix the issues we had between us."

She blushed and I could feel her hands shaking.

"The night your dad died, I felt every single bit of your pain. I was so angry at myself because I couldn't figure out a way to fix it for you. Every time you hurt, I want to fix it and when I can't I get angry. Do you know what that's like? With every tear that fell from your eyes that night, a part of me fell with each one."

The tears started to well up in her eyes, and I hoped I wasn't pushing any buttons - but I was on a roll and I couldn't stop telling her how I felt. It just poured out of me.

"The past three months have held the hardest moments in my entire life. When Mom died, I knew there was no way of getting her back. With you, I was so scared that I'd let you walk out of my life without even having the chance of telling you... I felt like I still had a chance to come clean, because each day it grew harder and harder for me to allow my charade to continue."

"Every time a fight would break out between us, I'd go in my room at night and try to come up with a way to make it up to you. I hated being angry with you, and hated it even more when you were angry with me. The night I tried to talk to you, I stood outside your door debating on whether to say anything at all. I was scared that I'd push you away even more, and I couldn't live my life without you in it."

She let go of one of my hands to wipe the tears away from her eyes and she smiled a bit at me.

"Each night this week that you've been in my arms, well those have been the best three nights I've had in… ever. I hated being so far away from you. I know that you were only right down the hallway, but I felt like you were on a whole other planet. I never want to feel like that again."

"Jacob… I am so sorry I hurt you," Bella said through her tears.

I got up and walked to her side of the picnic table and took a seat beside her. I lifted her chin with my hand and looked her in the eyes and said,

"You'll never have anything to be sorry for with me. It'll take more than death to make me lose you again. You'll have to push me away for me to be away from you. I'm here till you don't want me anymore."

She looked up with her teary brown eyes, and I kissed her lips softly.

She put her hands on my face and then put her forehead against mine.

"Jacob, I don't think I'll ever be able to push you away." We sat just like this for what seemed like forever – not saying a word, with our lips just inches away from each other.

I stood up and took Bella by the hand and we walked across the road to where a small pond was dug in the middle of the camp ground. We sat on the end of the dock like we did the day I discovered her secret and she leaned her head on my shoulder again. I put my arm around her waist and held her close.

I was so grateful to Sue Clearwater for allowing me and Bella to spend time together. It was the best gift anyone had ever given me.

**BellaPOV**

I didn't know Jake had it in him to be the romantic type. He always seemed like the overbearing, muscular meat head guy that I'd fought so hard to stay away from. But, as he sat on the picnic table telling me how he truly felt about me, I wanted to say ditto to every single thing he said.

I couldn't even get the words out to explain to him how I felt. As I fought back the tears to keep him from worrying about me, my heart melted with every word that came out of his mouth. He held me on the dock overlooking the pond, and I actually felt like I found a placed that I belonged. I'd been handed off so many times - and now, sitting with the one person that wants to be in my life - I felt like I was on top of the world.

We sat feeding the fish and talking about old times. He even brought up the time I tried to cut his hair with my safety scissors when I was around ten years old.

He'd complained so much about his hair, so I took my pair of scissors I used for my class and cut his hair. I only got a one inch wide part cut before his older sister Rebecca caught me. Charlie actually didn't ground me for that stunt. He actually felt bad for Jake.

"That boy needed a haircut. The only reason those girls keep his hair so long is so they can play with it," Charlie said as he drove me home that night.

It was those kinds of memories of Charlie that I treasured more than anything. Jacob knew that I only liked to talk about the happy moments with Charlie, so those were the only ones he brought up. I was so grateful for his ability to know what I needed.

We heard the Clearwaters coming up from a trail near the pond and Leah and Seth were carrying leaves they found on the trail. As they walked by, I thought more about Jacob and my childhood. We didn't have mothers to wipe or tears away, but Charlie and Billy both did the best that two single dads could do to raise us. They had combined efforts to keep us in line. For the first time, I realized something I'd never really thought about, and I felt selfish.

I bet more than anything Billy hurt just as bad as I did. He shared a lifetime friendship with my dad, and it never occurred to me how he felt. The guilt overwhelmed me and I looked at Jacob with tears in my eyes. I felt like such an ungrateful girl at that moment.

Jacob didn't ask any questions. He just pulled himself closer to me and whispered in my ear, "It's ok."

I cried so hard on Jacob's shoulder and I knew the instant I walked back into Billy's house, I had to tell him I was so sorry for everything. I peered over Jake's shoulder when I was finally able to compose myself and I saw Sue staring right back at me. She had a smile on her face. She waved and walked back up to the campsite.

We sat for another hour before we could budge. I didn't want to leave our spot, but felt bad for leaving the family that invited us in the first place. We made our way back to the campsite and found Alice sitting on the bench with her mom. They were talking to Sue and Edward was helping Harry gather more firewood.

I sat down next to Alice and she hugged me. "Bella, we've all been talking."

Sue and Esme turned their attention to me.

"We think you owe us an apology for not saying something to us sooner."

I blushed. "Alice… I'm…"

"But we understood why you couldn't say anything. So we've all made a pact to help the two of you through this until we can figure out a way to let Billy in."

Jacob and I looked at each other and smiled. He grabbed my hand and pulled him closer to him. It felt so great to be liberated in front of other people.

"Alice, you don't know how many times this week I wanted to say something to you."

She smiled. "Well I figured when you turned Edward down for a date, something had to be up… no girl has ever turned him down."

Edward looked at me and flashed his shiny grin. I rolled my eyes.

Jacob looked a little pissed. He leaned into me and whispered,

"I didn't know it was Edward that asked you out."

I blushed and turned to him, and whispered back,

"He didn't know, Jacob… you can't fault someone for not being aware."

Jacob sat back, but still looked annoyed. He looked so cute when he was jealous.

Sue then spoke up. "Bella, I hate it that it has to be this way for you, but I've heard Billy go on and on about the two of you in the past and even though he'd be elated to have you as his son's girlfriend, he's very old fashioned. I'll do what I can to get the two of you out of the house and on outings like this more often, but you are going to have to do your part."

"How so?" I asked.

"Billy mentioned to me on the phone yesterday morning that he was suspicious of the two of you. He said that you were being extremely nice to one another and he couldn't quite put his finger on it."

I laughed, "So in other words, we'll have to go back to the fighting, kicking, throwing things relationship we once had."

Sue giggled back, "Maybe not the throwing part, but you'll both have to keep up the theatrics for a while longer."

I hated the thought of being mean to Jacob – however we both knew that it would be in the best interest for us to do so. But I wouldn't have to worry about that until tomorrow when I got back home.

The rest of the camping trip seemed to fly by. Harry seemed uncomfortable, but Sue said it was only because he was worried what Billy would say if and when he found out. I think Harry was more scared of Sue - so he kept his mouth shut.

I hated to see the sun rise that Sunday morning. It meant that I would have to go home and face my everyday life again. As we packed our things, Alice skipped over to me and gave me a huge hug.

"Bella, I promise you, my lips are sealed when we get back to school."

"Thanks… I just hate it that I have to keep everything from Angela too."

"Do you not trust your own best friend?" Alice asked me.

She had a point. Angela and I kept each other's secrets our entire lives. If this weekend had taught me anything, it was that I had wronged a lot of people over the past three months. I apparently had another wrong that needed to be fixed with Angela.

We all said goodbye to the Cullens and drove away to the Clearwater's house. Jacob and I would repack all our things and head back to our house. It didn't take long for Jake and Harry to load up the truck and I talked to Sue for a little bit while they did that.

"What do you think Billy would do if he found out?" I asked Sue.

"It's really hard to tell. He's been so lenient with the two of you since your dad died, but I think a man can only take so much before he finally puts his foot down – and even I couldn't do anything about that."

Sue hugged me and said, "Don't worry yourself Bella, take it easy and just enjoy the time you do get."

"Thanks, Sue, for everything."

"You are so welcome sweetie, if you need anything you let me know ok?" she said.

I nodded. Just about then Jacob and Harry approached us. I waved to Seth and Leah as they sat on the porch of their house watching us. I hugged Harry and Jake hugged Sue and we walked away with Jake's arm around me. It was almost as if to prove something, the sky was starting to turn dark and the rain clouds started to reappear above us, signaling the end to our weekend.

**JacobPOV**

The entire drive back home was spent with Bella and me trying our hardest to figure out a way to throw Billy off our trail. Bella hated the idea of being mean to me, but she'd done it so well over the past three months, I was sure she could pull it off again.

"Bella, this is what we are going to do when we pull up in the drive. When we get out of the truck, I want you to start laying into me – make something up - yell at me, call me names and then say hi to Billy. As you walk in, slam the door, storm down the hallway and then slam your door to your room. I'll take it from there."

Bella looked at me with sad, puppy dog eyes and I could tell this was going to kill her, but I'd rather her yell at me then I yell at her.

And just like I told her to do, as soon as we pulled into the drive, Bella jumped out of the truck, slammed the door, and I followed behind her.

"Jacob Black, you can be such a jackass sometimes! I swear I'm so fucking glad this damn camping trip is over. I couldn't stand one more minute in the woods with you! Stay the hell away from me!" Bella screamed at me.

She stormed away past my dad. As she walked by him, she said, "Hi" and kept on walking. Dad looked at me like he always did when Bella and I would argue.

"Jacob, what on earth was all that about?" my dad asked me.

"Who knows? I'm used to her outbursts by now."

My dad looked at me confused, "But the two of you were getting along so well this week. Such as shame to see it end this soon."

"Yeah, I know, tell me about it... I was kind of getting used to the nice side of her."

"How was she on the camping trip? Did she do well with the Clearwaters?"

I laughed, "Yeah, actually her and Sue became really close this weekend. Some friends from her school were here and they hung out a bit with us. The arguing didn't start until the ride home."

"Ok, good. I was worried she acted like this in front of Sue and Harry, but knowing Sue, she wouldn't have allowed it."

I smiled at my dad. "Well, Dad, I'm exhausted. School tomorrow... and sleeping on the ground for two days made me miss my couch." I was about to walk through the door of the house when my dad stopped me.

"Jacob, I wanted to talk to you about that."

I stopped and turned to him and leaned up against the door way.

"I've been talking to your sister, Rebecca. They have extra space at their house and if things get too messy between you and Bella, you could always go stay there – you know, to get away from everything."

I tried to compose myself. I didn't want to let on that I couldn't and wouldn't leave Bella. The charade had to continue.

"Dad, I'll think about it. She showed some improvement this weekend, so we'll see. Thanks for that."

My dad nodded his head and I went into the house. He sat on the porch a while longer and I sat on the couch staring down at her room. I kept seeing shadows under her doorway. She was being impatient, and I was too. I hated this small distance between us.

I wouldn't dare tell her what my dad's offer was right now – it would devastate her to know that my dad had a plan B. My dad came back into the living room and told me good night. He went into his room and then the waiting game continued for a bit longer. Finally his snoring started, and as if right on cue, Bella emerged from her bedroom, her eyes puffy red as though she had been crying.

"Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry," she said as she went straight into my arms.

I ran my hands down her head and hair as she sat in my arms. "It's ok, baby, it really is. I didn't mind. You looked so damn cute when you were yelling at me, hell it even kind of turned me on."

She laughed quietly and said, "Well then maybe I should yell at you some more then."

She kissed me hard and pushed me down onto the couch. She straddled herself on top of me and reached down to me, kissing me passionately. I've never seen her be so aggressive with me. I guess she was trying to apologize for yelling at me – I should make her yell at me more often.

My hands rubbed her back – up and down this beautiful silk nightgown she wore. There wasn't anything between us but my PJ bottoms and her underwear. I felt myself becoming so turned on by her and, embarrassingly enough, it started to show in my pants. She quickly realized what was going on and stopped kissing me.

She smiled at me with those beautiful lips of hers. She leaned down and whispered into my ear,

"One of these days, really soon, I might actually let you put that to good use."

I felt myself blush and then started to kiss her back as passionately as she'd kissed me.

_Really soon?_ Hell I wanted her now, but I knew that waiting would be the best option for us now – especially since we had absolutely no privacy in this house.

After another intense make out session, we slowed things up a bit and she took her place on the couch with me. She started playing with my hair.

"Jacob, thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"Everything."

I smiled and held her tight in my arms. I wanted to sleep this with her in my arms again tonight, but I knew it wouldn't happen. She finally yawned and we both sat up. I kissed her lips softly and told her I loved her. She smiled back at me and said, "I love you more."

"I don't think that's possible," I whispered back to her.

She got up and walked back to her room, stopping in the middle of the hallway to look back at me and then I she disappeared into her bedroom. I sat there for a minute - thanking my lucky stars to have such a beautiful girl in my life.

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A/N: It's becoming increasingly easy to write about Forks, WA around here. I've seen nothing but clouds and rain going on two weeks now. It's an odd occurrence considering I live in the South East. Big thanks to CandyP for the proofing job and her story, "Pas De Deux" is starting to intrigue me. Also, I can't stop listening to Blue October. I can see what SM sees in this band, they are SO easy to write by. Coming up soon in Chapter 8, Jake & Bella continue the charade… and leaving me comments makes me write faster…


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Double treat. Two chappies in one day ... The worse part about writing this chapter was trying to fit in some important details without always making Bella and Jacob so concerned about getting caught. But as you'll see, Billy has his reasons. SM owns the characters, I own a dog named Bella… so I guess me and Stephenie have a lot in common, huh?

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**BellaPOV**

It was another Sunday and I tried my best to keep that out of my mind.

Staring at the ceiling isn't the best way to get your mind off things. I've learned this lesson the hard way over the past week. It takes so much restraint out of me to not jump out of this bed and run down the hallway and attack Jacob with kisses and hugs.

I also had to remind myself that sometime on Monday, I needed to apologize to Billy for not taking in consideration that he may be hurting too with the loss of my father.

Then, the thoughts shifted to Angela. I just prayed that she didn't hate me for keeping this secret from her. I loved Angela like a sister and the mere fact of lying to her made me feel like shit.

As I stared at each crack on the ceiling, I thought more and more about how on earth we would ever break this news to Billy. He could surprise me the way he did when he found out about me visiting my dad at the docks. Then, I realized that this was much bigger than a grieving little girl. This was something that he wouldn't be able to get past.

I really wished things were much simpler for everyone involved. I also felt like Harry and Sue were putting their friendship with Billy on the line for Jacob and I. This scared me a bit for their sake. They were only doing something to help us, yet I felt awful about that.

The guilt inside of me started to slowly tear at my heart and I turned to my right side and stared at a picture of the four of us – Billy, Jacob, my dad and I when we went fishing off the docks one afternoon.

I loved Jacob more than anything on this earth, but I felt like I was about to make some really irrational, screwed up decisions and the warning signs went off in my head.

_What would Billy do if he found out?_

Sue didn't have much insight and that worried me. I tried not to think of it anymore and I stared at my dad in the picture. Sleep still didn't come. I finally got up and tiptoed to the bathroom, opened the medicine cabinet and took my Sunday sleeping pill. I finally laid back into bed staring at the picture again.

I found myself drifting off to sleep.

I was dreaming again. It was the same dream I had almost a week ago, where Charlie tried to drag me away from Jacob. Except in this dream it was Billy. I screamed, and kicked, and Jacob held onto me for dear life. His little fingers entangled into mine until only our fingertips were barely touching. He faded away from me and I tried to run back to him but I kept getting pulled farther and farther away until he was completely gone. I sat down on a plane of nothingness and put my head into my hands and cried.

I woke up with tears in my eyes. It was still dark outside and I turned to my clock to see that it was only four in the morning. I had to wake at six and figured I'd try to get some more sleep, but instead I tossed and turned for an hour. I sat up in bed and decided to take a shower instead. I gathered up all my things and headed for the bathroom.

I peeked down the hallway to see if I could tell if Jacob was still asleep or not. I didn't see any kind of movement and walked across the hall to the bathroom for my morning shower.

As I stood in the shower, I just let the hot water soak me. I tried to push the dream out of my mind but I feared that it could become my reality. I wanted to just let it all go.

I wondered what Charlie would think about all this. I wondered if he could have been the one to fix this issue. _Of course he could. If he were still alive, you wouldn't be living with Jacob and then you wouldn't go through this._ I then felt guilty for blaming Charlie.

I finally washed my hair and got out of the shower and went into my room. I sat on my bed for a while in my robe and read some more of my book for English. Around six in the morning, I got up and finally dressed for school. I heard Jacob stirring around in the living room and heard him trek down the hallway to the bathroom.

I waited until he was done before I exited my room with my book bag in hand. By the time I reached the kitchen, he was standing at the entrance from the living room putting his shirt over his head. I watched him tie back his hair and I walked up to him and pulled his hand away from his hair. His hair fell just below his shoulders and I was jealous at how straight it was.

His t-shirt was tight on his chest and it accented every single one of his muscles. His deep brown eyes stared at me and without saying a word, he reached for my face and took it in his hands and kissed me softly on my lips.

"Good morning my Bella," he said to me.

He wrapped his muscular arms around me and held me tight to him. We knew we were ok that early in the morning because Billy loved to sleep in every chance he got. It was no where time to leave so we walked outside to the porch and up to the bed of his truck. The rain stopped hours before we woke, and the bed of his truck was dry.

Jacob put the tailgate down and we sat on it, watching the sun rise over the horizon. Around seven we were ready to head out. We went back into the house and grabbed our book bags and got into his truck. As soon as we were over the bridge, I was right back next to him. We talked about the things we had to do at school that day. It was Monday… and that meant a dock visit.

"Bella, do you want to wait on me to come get you from school, and we go down to the dock together?"

I grinned at him - but I had plans for today's visit.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I'm going to ride with Angela today. I've got some things to set straight with her."

Jacob looked at me curiously and then he got it.

"Oh, you're going to tell her huh?"

"I figured it would be best. Besides, we've been best friends since I moved here. It doesn't feel right lying to her too. She's never told a single one of my secrets."

Jacob kissed the top of my head. "If you think she'll be ok knowing about us, then I don't mind."

"Are you going to tell Quil and Sam by chance?"

"Quil, yes. Sam, not right now. If I tell him, it will give him more ammunition to talk shit to me, and I've already hurt him enough for one school year."

I giggled. "My strong muscle man taking care of his dainty little lady… I feel so… loved."

He laughed, "I bet you could take care of yourself. You do have quite an arm on you."

I held up my arm and he squeezed my muscle.

"See, you are a machine," he said.

I laughed so hard at him. I hated to get out of the truck, but I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't ever go to school again.

"Jacob, I love you. Behave yourself today at school. Don't flatten Sam out today unless he really deserves it."

Jacob kissed the top of my head again. We've decided to let him drop me off at the exit of the school where no one could see us so we could at least have some type of privacy.

I got out of the truck and walked back up to the school, turning once as he looked out the back window. He waved and then was off to school.

I had to find Angela. My goal for today was to right some wrongs today in the hopes that it would help me out karma wise if and when Billy found out. I went straight for our picnic table and found the Cullens and my picnic table buddies all sitting around talking. It amazes me how fast our little group has grown. It all started with Angela, Mike and I and the rest of them just came on one by one.

As I approached, Alice and Angela both waved. Edward grinned like he always did and the rest of them seemed to be entranced in their conversations. I walked straight up to Angela and asked if I could speak to her away from the crowd for a moment. Alice and Edward both smiled at me because they knew it was time for me to own up to my best friend.

As soon as we got to the tree across the courtyard, I spoke up.

"Angela, there is something I need to talk to you about, but after I tell you, we can't discuss it any further until after school ok?"

She looked worried. "Ok, I guess I can adhere to that. What's up?"

"Well remember our note we sent to each other on Friday and I said I would talk to you later about it?"

She nodded. "Yeah you were supposed to fill me in but you left early… did you go with him anyway?"

"Nope. I hope you aren't angry at me for keeping this from you, but it's only been a week."

She still looked worried.

"I'm kinda, sorta, dating someone."

Her eyes lit up. "Who?! You've got to tell me. I know... you are dating that really cute boy that sits next to you in English?"

I laughed. "No actually he doesn't go to this school."

She put her lips together. "It's one of Jacob's meat-headed friends isn't it? Bella I don't think those guys are the right choice for you."

I laughed again, "You are a little closer."

"Ok, Bells I totally give up, tell me."

"Jacob."

Her eyes got as big as dinner plates and her jaw dropped. Her first question, "Does Billy know?"

"Of course he doesn't know. If he did I'm sure one of us would have to go, and since I'm not his kid, it would be me."

Angela smiled and said, "Well in that case you could always come stay with me. I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind."

"Thanks Angela," I laughed, "but I think we'll be ok for now. We've just got to find a way to break this to him easily."

"Well, I'll keep my mouth shut until you let me know its ok to talk about it."

"Thanks again. I knew I could depend on you to keep a secret," I said as I smiled at her.

"What are friends for?" she said.

**JacobPOV**

Sam was definitely out of the question of my friends to be in the know. Quil was the only guy I trusted to know how I exactly felt about Bella. He knew that the moment anyone else found out, they'd give me so much shit I wouldn't be able to show my face at the high school anymore. So, for my sake, he normally kept his mouth closed.

When I pulled my truck into the parking lot of the school, I saw Quil but Sam was nowhere to be found. I shrugged my shoulders at Quil as I walked up to him.

"Where's Sam today?" I asked.

"He had a doctor's appointment first thing this a.m. to have his nose checked out. Apparently you did some cartilage damage when you hit him."

"Damn, I didn't realize I hit him that hard."

"Yeah, well I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner," said Quil.

I kicked a rock around with my foot trying to figure out how to start this conversation. I just came on out and said it.

"Bella and I am an item now."

Quil didn't look shocked at all.

"It's actually about time it happened. What does Billy say?" he asked me.

"Well, he doesn't know yet, and I'd like to keep it that way for a while."

"I won't say a word, but be careful. Billy won't allow this continue under his roof, you know that. Remember what happened when he took in Rebecca's boyfriend?"

I'd almost forgotten about that. I'm much younger than Rebecca and while she was in high school she started dating this really nice guy whose parents split. After his dad left town, his mom would spend each night drinking herself into a coma and eventually, she didn't wake up one night.

After about three weeks of the guy living with us, my dad caught Rebecca and him in the act and Dad kicked the guy out. He knew that they were dating, but tried to keep a close eye on them. When they went sneaking around his back after that, he kicked Rebecca out too. She now lives in California and is married to the guy.

It wasn't up until recently that Dad and Rebecca began to be on good terms. Thanks to Quil reminding me of this, I now felt even more guilty and nervous. This was another thing to keep from Bella – which was something I really hated to do.

The bell sounded and we headed into class, and a part of me felt the need to call Rebecca and ask her opinion on my situation.

**BellaPOV**

The day seemed to go by so slowly. At lunch, Edward was dazzling all the girls at a table with his smile and Alice and Jasper were talking about their upcoming night out on Friday. Jessica and Mike were arguing again about some really stupid things, like always. Angela and I remained quiet while everyone else had their discussions going. We wanted to talk to each other, but were scared we'd bring up Jacob in front of the wrong people.

Finally, after gym was over in fourth block, Angela met me at her car and we drove to the dock. For the first time, she got out with me and sat on the end of the dock. We didn't say anything for a little while until she finally spoke up.

"This place is awesome. No wonder Billy and Charlie liked this it so much."

I smiled, "Yeah it is pretty nice. Even when it's raining, it is relaxing."

"So, how did it end up happening?" Angela asked me.

"Do you remember the day I cut school last week?"

"Yeah… what happened? I just figured you were sick or something."

"I walked away from campus, and Jacob cut school because some of his friends were giving him shit about me. We met up on the side of the road and we both told each other how we really felt. After our conversation about you and Ben, I realized that I couldn't date anyone because of everyone leaving me, until I found Jacob."

Angela looked at me with a sad look on her face, "Oh Bella is that what you think? Not everyone is going to disappear on you. You still have me, and you've gained tons of friends. Then on top of that, you got Jacob. You can't think like that."

"I really try not to think about that. I just feel like every person I've ever loved for has found some way or another to abandon me and I feel like it'll always happen."

Angela grabbed my hand and said, "As long as I have anything to do with it, I will always be your best friend. And just because Charlie isn't here with you, doesn't mean he's not your father – and the same with Renee, and those who aren't with us anymore. That's the beauty of places like this. At least you will always have those kinds of great memories to hold onto."

She always knew the exact words to say to make me feel better. I was really happy that she didn't hate me for not letting her in on my secret. We watched as the dragonflies hit the water and it was peaceful. And for the first time since I began visiting my father, I left without shedding a single tear.

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Angela dropped me off at the house and I noticed that Jacob still hadn't got home yet. Billy was sitting on the porch waiting on us like he normally would and I needed to fix the second wrong of the past three months.

I took a seat next to Billy. He never complained at all about being in the wheelchair. Jacob's told me the story about what happened the night his mom died and I cannot imagine having to live with a constant reminder of those nights events.

Billy didn't say a word until I finally spoke.

"Billy, I… I owe you a huge apology."

He looked at me with tired eyes, something I've never noticed before. I cannot imagine raising three children, on your own, and with a disability like that.

"You didn't have to take me in, and I understand that. However, I'm grateful every single morning when I wake up in this house that I don't live with twenty other girls fighting over the last of the hot water. I sometimes get caught up in my own little world of self pity and forget that you may be hurting just as much, if not more than I am."

He didn't say anything so I continued.

"I forget that you were my dad's best friend sometimes, and spending time with Sue and Harry, and Angela just now, I can't imagine losing your best friend, especially after you've gone through so much. For the longest time I viewed you as an uncle and I still do. I'm so sorry for the way I've acted the past couple of months and I'll do my best to try and get along with everyone from now on."

Billy wiped a small tear away from his eye as he stared across his yard. He cleared his throat and said, "Apology accepted."

I didn't feel the need to say anything else and neither did Billy. He was a man of very few words when he needed to be. We sat on the porch and waited on Jacob to get home. He finally arrived about twenty minutes after me.

He walked up the steps of the porch and stood staring at us. He had a really confused look on his face.

"Am I missing anything?" Jacob said.

"No, not really. Bella and I were just discussing dinner, how about we all go out tonight. I feel the need to spend time with the two of you."

I smiled at Jacob and he said, "As long as I get to pick the place."

Billy laughed and said, "In that case, I'd better alert the buffet to make extra food."

**JacobPOV**

I don't know what Bella said to my dad, but he was as nice as he could be the entire night. He bought us dinner; rented us movies and we ate popcorn while watching them. He laughed right along with us and when the movies were over, we sat around the living room sharing stories about the Quileutes and funny stories about Charlie.

It seemed easier for Bella to be able to talk about her dad. She seemed to reference him more and without locking up her emotions. She seemed… at ease.

Around ten, my dad got tired and decided it was time for bed. He got down the hallway and stopped short of his door. He turned to Bella and I and said, "The two of you were the best thing to happen out of all this pain and suffering."

I wasn't exactly sure what he meant about that but it made me feel better to know that he was happy that we were making it through everything. He went into his room and Bella and I sat on the couch waiting on him to go to sleep.

We talked about Angela and her trip to the dock today and I told her about mine and Quil's conversation. Finally, I asked her about what happened just before I got home.

"Well, it's actually quite simple. I apologized for being a bitch and your dad accepted."

"You apologized and that's what made him in this great of a mood?" I asked.

"I guess so. He seemed grateful that I did. So, yeah it probably was. I also told him that from this point on I would be way nicer to you and him and everyone else."

I smiled at my little miracle worker. Not only did she apologize to my dad for her behavior, but she did something to take the suspicion off us. If we started to get along, he would only blame it on Bella keeping her promise.

I heard my dad snore and I took her into my arms and kissed her softly on the lips. She grinned back at me.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"For being the greatest girl any guy would be lucky to have."

She blushed and we sat on the couch for a while. We didn't dive into a huge kissing fest tonight. Instead, we just enjoyed each other's company, and it felt great to have one less worry in the world.

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A/N: I actually wrote this chapter in two hours tonight. I feel like it's a bit of a fluff piece, but I had to give you insight as to why Billy wouldn't like the two of them dating under his roof. Billy reminds me a TON of my own father in this story and I guess that's why it's so easy for me to write his part. I could have made him tons more overbearing but decided against it. Huge thanks to CandyP… without her, this story would have 200x more errors (and don't forget to read Pas De Deux). Oh and I can't wait for you to meet Rebecca… she's a lot like my little sis, who acts older… and one more shout out to Blue October and their song 'Chameleon Boy' – the song I used as inspiration for both Bella and Jake characters…


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: WARNING! Steamy lemony goodness is approaching! You have been warned! Now, all the characters belong to Ms. SM, however, that goose down pillow is mine, in fact I'm laying on it as I type this… take that heavenly Bella….

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**JacobPOV**

My little miracle worker did a great job. Not only were we able to get along without questions for the rest of the week, but things around our household seemed to calm down a lot. Our routine kept the same during the night and my dad eased up on the hovering.

By the weekend, we were the happiest the two of us have ever been. Sue called on Thursday wanting to know if we would like to come over for the day on Saturday. She was sending Harry to pick up Billy so they could go fishing. Then she was going to take Seth and Leah into town to get some clothes for the warmer months. She needed someone to "dog sit" at her house.

Saturday morning I awoke to Harry knocking on our screen door. It was early in the morning, at least six a.m. I answered the door and let Harry in. I then went back to my dad's room and helped him get ready for his trip. He left me some cash on the counter and said he'd see me around sunset.

I sat back down on the couch and noticed that Bella hadn't budged from her room yet. I decided to see if she'd like to get some breakfast since we were getting up so early.

I stood at her door reluctantly knocking. I hated to wake her, especially since she was sleeping so much better these days. I knocked a little bit harder and she still didn't make a sound - so I cracked the door a bit and saw her sleeping on her goose down pillow.

She looked like an angel that had fallen from heaven and landed right on my old bed. Her hair fell all around her pillow and she was sleeping on her back, her covers barely covering half her body. She was wearing a thin-strapped shirt with really short, shorts that showed more than enough of her legs. I wanted so badly to run the tips of my fingers down those beautiful legs of hers.

She smiled in her sleep and I could have stood there for hours watching her sleep like that. She turned a bit on her side facing me and peeped open one of her eyes and caught me staring at her. Then she barely opened the other eye and said, "What are you doing standing there, come over here and cuddle with me."

She didn't have to ask me twice. I shut the door behind me and walked to the other side of the bed. I slid under the covers right behind her and wrapped my arms around her. My fingertips traced down her arms and her body felt so warm against mine. Her legs wrapped around mine but she didn't budge from her position. Her hair fell away from her shoulders and neck when she turned, and they sat exposed to me like a candy I desired to taste.

I softly kissed her shoulder, inching more and more towards her neck. I could feel her breathing becoming heavier the closer I got to her neck. I stopped short; right on the base and her breathing became labored. I tickled the base of her neck with my lips and she shuddered. Her skin developed goose bumps and her body shook in my arms.

She pushed my arm from over her and she turned to face me. She still didn't have her eyes open and we sat face to face and nose to nose. I reached up and pulled her hair away from her face and softly kissed her cheek. I ran my fingertips down her other arm, with our lips just inches apart from each other. I inched my body closer to her and she responded by wrapping her legs back into mine. We were tangled in each other and then she said something I never thought I'd hear her say.

"Jacob, I'm ready."

I took her into my arms and laid her flat on her back. I was at her left side, barely on top of her as she reached to remove my shirt off me. She lifted it with ease over my head and her eyes seemed to turn a darker shade of brown, almost as if she saw something she desired more that breathing. She ran her fingertips down my chest and to my pants. She fondled with the button on my jeans and I quietly cussed myself out for even wearing jeans to bed that night before.

She finally got what she wanted done and slid my jeans off my hips. I helped a little bit and once they were down around my ankles, I kicked them off onto the floor. I laid beside her, exposed for her to see how much I wanted her at that one moment. Her eyes never left mine though. I leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips as my hands traced every single inch of her body. My hand slid under her shirt and I cupped her right breast into my hands, fondling with her nipples and she let out a small moan that sent my body into a fiery fit. With each stroke of my fingertips, her moans got louder.

I slowly pulled my hand out from under her shirt and slid her shorts down around her ankles. She wasn't wearing any underwear and she herself lay in bed exposed to me, waiting for me to take her. I slid her shirt over her head, and as she lifted her upper body off the bed, I kissed her forehead, cheeks and then softly, her lips. My sleeping angel looked now more like a devil in disguise - tempting me with every evil part of her body. I wanted to hate her so much for making me want her as much as I did, but all I could do was give into the temptation.

I laid myself between her warm legs and asked her one more time if she was sure about this. She shook her head yes as I reached under my night stand, pulled out a condom, placed it on my hardened manhood. I was ready to take my angel. She lay completely flat on her back as I slid in between her legs and into the fiery passion that was her body. She let out moan that sounded sweeter than the angels singing on high. Her arms wrapped around my body holding me closer to her. I watched as her body began to shake and each time I'd enter her, and she'd moan louder.

She had tears coming out of her eyes, but I instantly knew they were tears of pleasure and joy instead of anguish and pain. I wanted nothing more than to make her happy, and it seemed as though I was doing everything she ever wanted out of me. Her body shook and I could tell she was climaxing. It felt so good to have my Bella be completely mine. She whispered in my ear, "I love you Jacob, my God do I love you."

Our bodies wrapped together so perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle waiting years to be put together. I didn't want this to end… I would have done anything for this moment to last forever.

As I came to my climax my body shook over hers and she could tell I was ready. She kissed my shoulders, then my neck and as I finally reached my breaking point, I let out a huge moan. She looked at me, happy that she had also satisfied my cravings for her. I finally couldn't take anymore of the overabundance of pleasure and collapsed beside her and pulled her to me.

She lay next to me staring into my eyes, not saying a word. . She curled her fingers in my hair that had came undone while we made love and said,

"You will always be here for me, forever, right?"

I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "Not even death, baby, not even death."

**BPOV**

The smell of Jacob's hair and the way his body felt next to mine made this morning the best ever of my entire life. I never actually planned for it to happen this morning but when I woke to Jacob standing in my doorway, wearing his tight dark blue jeans, his hair barely tied back and a tight white t-shirt, it looked like a dark angel coming to take me, and I couldn't resist him anymore.

Jacob made me feel so wanted and so desired, and his eyes seemed to show it more each time something new came along in our love making endeavor. I finally had my Jacob in my arms, with promises of forever on his lips. I couldn't and didn't want anything else in my life. We lay in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't want him to leave my side.

We both knew that we had to get up and go to Sue's house. We promised to "dog sit," but we both knew that it was a charade to get us out of the house and to spend time together. Jacob was the first out of the bed and as he stood up, I could see him really for the first time and he was the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes upon. I instantly felt like the world's biggest idiot for ever talking shit about his muscles.

He stood in the light that shone through my window, and it accented the shadows of his body. He caught me staring at him and smiled. I think I even saw him blush.

He left the room, like a gentleman, and waited until was dressed in a robe before he came back to check on me. I told him we both needed a shower and his eyes lit up when I mentioned it. He practically ran across the hallway to the bathroom and started up the shower. He made it super warm, just the way I liked it, and we both sat in the shower washing each other. I felt if we weren't careful, we'd end up back the way we started this morning but before we got out, Jacob turned on the cold water to calm down our hormones.

I stepped out the shower and darted across the hallway in my robe. I went to my bedroom to get dressed. My hair dripped all over the bedroom but I didn't care. I was ready to spend the day with my Jacob. I quickly dressed in a pair of old ragged jeans and a t-shirt. Jacob came into my room wearing another pair of dark jeans and a black tight t-shirt and I caught myself staring at him once again.

He stepped back and caught me again and I blushed.

"Why are you blushing? I haven't seen you blush this much ever."

I giggled. I felt like a little school girl who just rediscovered her crush again. Except this wasn't a crush, and I would have argued with anybody who would say that it was anything but love. I loved this boy so much and he had every single part of me now – my heart, my body and if he kept it up, I might even let him borrow my soul for safekeeping.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. He smelled so good. I looked down at the clock on my night stand and saw that it was getting close to eight thirty in the morning. We needed to get to Sue's house.

I slipped on my shoes and so did Jacob and we left for the Clearwater house.

I still felt so giggly. Jacob kept staring down at me laughing at me. I felt like every one of my senses had been opened up and the trees seemed to be a brighter shade of green, the clouds looked whiter and grayer than before and the smell of the forest seemed like the best smell in the world.

**JacobPOV**

Bella was making me laugh so hard. She seemed like a completely different person than the one who went to bed the night before. She fell asleep still missing her dad, worrying about Billy and about her own mortality. But when she woke this morning, something had changed inside of her. She seemed more liberated from her pain.

Sue even noticed a difference in her color and her attitude. Bella was more outgoing and talking poor Sue's ear off for the first hour we were there. Sue was busy trying to get Seth and Leah ready to go into town and Bella wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise.

Sue finally had to interrupt. I just sat on the sidelines watching Bella talk. I'd never seen her so open and it was a huge breath of fresh air.

"Bella… Bella… Stop talking for one second… Are you on drugs?"

I couldn't help but laugh. _Yeah if you call awesome morning sex drugs, then sure, she's pretty fucking high right now._

I laughed so hard at my internal comment, and Sue looked at me.

"No Sue, she woke up in a good mood this morning. She's been like that with me too."

Bella blushed at me and Sue just shook her head and walked into the living room helping Seth get his shoes on.

I motioned for Bella to come closer to me. She smiled up at me and said,

"Am I really talking entirely too much today? I can try to stop."

"Bella, baby, I could listen to you talk until the day I go completely deaf. You talk as much as you want to."

I put my arms around her and whispered "And even then, I'll get a hearing aid."

She laughed and hit my arm and then wrapped her arms back around me again.

Sue, Leah and Seth left for town and Bella and I plopped on the couch to watch a movie. Instead we fell asleep next to each other. There's nothing like great morning sex to make you want to fall back asleep.

We slept until Sue got home from shopping. We didn't even realize how long we'd been out. Sue shook my foot to let me know she was home. She made us a late lunch and we stood around the island in the kitchen talking about the school year. She commented how much she loved the Cullen family and how she couldn't believe that Edward didn't have a girlfriend. I groaned.

I tried not to be jealous of him, considering Bella turned him down and she was in my arms each night, but the thought of someone else wanting to be with her bugged me deep in my soul. When Sue mentioned his name, Bella instantly looked for my reaction and I tried my hardest to not let it show. I'd hate for her to fall out of love with me for being the jealous type.

Instead of getting frustrated with me and my tendency to groan at a guy hitting on my Bella, she wrapped her arm around my waist as if to say she understood. I hated our afternoon to end but it eventually had to. We told Sue thanks for giving us a day to hang out, even if it was to only take a nap beside each other. Like Sue said before, we had to be thankful for the time we do get to spend together.

Bella and I beat my dad home by a least an hour. Bella decided to make dinner while I made a decision to call my sister for advice on how to handle things with my dad.

She finally picked up.

"Hello."

"Rebecca, hey it's Jacob"

"Jake! Hey sweetie, how's my baby brother doing? Long time no hear!"

"Yeah I know, Dad says you are doing well?"

"I really am. We just moved into a house that has three bedrooms. Dad's been telling me about what's going on with you and Bella – which the two of you aren't getting along. You know you can always stay with me out here for a while."

"Actually, I'm calling to talk to you about Bella."

"Oh no, are you two still not getting along? How about this, if you go ahead and tell Dad you want to move, I can have you settled here in at least two weeks."

"No actually, that's not the problem."

"Ok. Then what is it?"

I sighed. "I'm in love with Bella."

The silence on the end of the phone scared me a little bit.

"Rebecca, are you still…"

"Yeah I'm here. Jacob, please, be very careful. It took me years to gain my relationship back with Dad. I don't want to see the two of you end up like me. I almost lost the love of my life for being stupid, and he will do something once he finds out."

"I know, Rebecca, but it just sucks. I want nothing more than to be with her. I just don't know what to do."

She didn't say anything again for a few seconds.

"Jacob, if it gets to the point of when Dad finds out, if the decision is to be made as to who moves out, you do it."

"Why can't we both move out there with you?"

"Because, dad is guardian over Bella. If she leaves without his permission, you could get in a lot of trouble. Plus it would be easier on you to move than for her to be put into foster care."

I'd never thought of dad sending Bella to live somewhere else. I was always sure he would never do that. He did do it to Rebecca's boyfriend, but Bella is like family.

"Rebecca, is there no solution to this problem?"

"I'm afraid not, little bro. Until Bella is eighteen and until Billy allows you out of his sight, this may not work out between you two."

This wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, but I knew what I had to do. If my dad ever did find out, I'd be the one to move to California. The thought of Bella living in foster care, away from her friends, was too much for me. She worked in the kitchen oblivious to the conversation I was having with Rebecca.

"Thanks anyway Bec, I needed to hear it from someone else's perspective."

"You are very welcome, and let me know if you need me, k?"

"I will."

I hung up with Rebecca and watched from across the room as my Bella worked on dinner for my Dad and me. I didn't know how on earth I could ever let her go, but if it came down to it, I would sacrifice my world and my happiness so she'd never have to suffer. My heart started to hurt for her, and even though I hadn't even left, or even stepped foot in California, I felt like I was already on my way there.

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A/N: I don't even have words for this chapter right now. I started on it at midnight and it was done by 1:30 in the a.m. I don't know if it was the thought of morning sex that made me write faster or if it was "Closer" by Kings of Leon that CandyP suggested I listen to. Either way, this song has been on repeat for an hour and a half and it's what helped me write this entire chapter… so you all can thank her by reading "Pas de Deux" and tell her to suggest more music to get my mojo going!!! I don't know when I'll update the next chapter but as soon as I do, you won't be disappointed… and comments are better than fiery, passionate morning sex on a goose down pillow …


	10. Chapter 10

It had to come some time or another... not everything can be roses and peaches and cream :(

A/N: More steamy lemony goodness is coming your way… however, please, for the love all that is good, don't get angry with me in this chapter… I'm super cereal… also… SM owns everything, except my bowl of Captain Crunch

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**BellaPOV**

The weeks seemed to fly by as Jacob and I settled down into a routine. At the first sign of Billy snoring, I raced to Jake's arms and it felt like my world was perfect. He'd kiss me on the forehead and tell me how much he loved me and needed me. I felt like this could go on forever.

The days at school dragged on as always, but before I even realized it, spring break arrived. Jake and I were lucky enough that our spring breaks coincided and I was looking forward to spending an entire week with him. It also made me realize that we would be stuck at home with Billy all week - something I didn't know if I could handle or not.

After school each Monday, I would wait for Jacob to pick me up and we'd head out to the docks together and talk to my dad. I loved Jacob more each time for talking right along with me. He had even asked Charlie's permission to be my boyfriend. It was an odd thing, though. Right after he asked, a butterfly landed on Jacob's knee and we took that as a sign that Charlie would have loved our relationship.

After school let out on Friday, Angela drove me home and my vacation began. As soon as I pulled into the driveway, I saw that Jake was already home. I'm not sure why I was surprised, I guess I had forgotten that his school day let out earlier than mine. Sam and Quil were in the yard with him and they were wrestling and play fighting. A while back, this would have driven me crazy and turned me off in a major way. However, watching them wrestle showed how strong Jacob really was. His muscles tightened each time he lunged for Sam and I caught myself staring at him as the three of them played.

Billy sat on the porch laughing at each swing they took at each other. Jacob got up off the ground after Sam knocked him down. Jacob quickly realized that I was looking in his direction; he smiled at me and I laughed. He looked so embarrassed that I saw him fall and brushed himself off, quickly lunging back at Sam. Sam hit the ground pretty hard and I was sure Jacob had hurt him. Jacob got up, dusted himself off, and looked back at me and smiled again. I felt like he was trying to prove to me that he could handle his own.

I looked down at Sam and his facial expression showed utter confusion about the exchange between Jacob and me. I felt like we were being very discrete - but Sam seemed to notice Jacob and I smiling at each other. Quil diffused the situation by knocking Jacob down. I headed inside before Jake and I had a chance to slip up in front of Sam again.

I passed Billy on the way, and he smiled at me and said,

"Well, what are your plans for spring break? I know you guys must have something planned."

"Oh you mean Jacob and me? I haven't even talked to him about it, to be honest. I know that Sue said she wouldn't mind us coming over one day this week - but as far as plans, we don't have any. I may go to Angela's some time soon."

Billy assumed we would do something together and this worried me a bit. I then realized that we were spending a good bit of our time with each other. I worried that Billy had noticed the difference.

"Well, I'm glad you two are getting along better. I've noticed that you've held up your end of the bargain. Thanks for doing so," Billy said.

I quickly went into the house and dumped my books on my bed. I could hear Jacob and the boys talking outside. I put on my iPod and began to read. I wanted so badly to join them outside, but Sam had obviously picked up on the silent exchange between Jacob and I, so I couldn't risk it. I sat alone in my room until sundown when Billy called us in for dinner.

I sat at the table, not saying a single word, while Billy and Jacob discussed a spring festival that the reservation was planning to have the next Saturday. I picked at my food and Jacob noticed that I wasn't myself. When Billy left the table to put his dish in the sink, Jacob mouthed the words, "Are you ok?" to me and I nodded yes. He looked at me as though he didn't believe me and I knew a conversation would take place later on that night about what bugged me.

We patiently waited for Billy to go to bed and I tip-toed my way back into Jake's arms. He just let me lay on him for a while before he brought up the subject of what was bothering me.

"Don't you realize by now that I always know if something's bothering you?" he said.

"Of course I do, but I think I'm just still worried about things. Sam seemed to take notice of the exchange that you and I made today and I'm just worried that he'll put it all together. He would go tell Billy, you know he would."

Jacob let out a sigh. "Bella, if you spent half as much time kissing me as you did worrying, I think the both of us would be a lot happier."

I giggled and lifted my head. I reached over and kissed him softly on the lips and said, "We need some more alone time. It's been entirely too long since, well, you know."

Jacob smiled at me with a goofy grin and said, "Well, you know, one day this week Dad is going fishing with Harry early in the morning. I could always sneak in and start a big cuddle session with you again."

I giggled. He squeezed me harder and said, "I love to hear you laugh."

We lay on the couch together for hours just laughing and giggling. We kept a close ear out for Billy's snoring and we almost fell asleep with each other. I caught myself and sat up with Jacob. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. He kissed me goodnight and I wandered back into the bedroom and crashed on the bed, ready for my spring break to begin.

**JacobPOV**

I really hadn't noticed Sam paying attention to Bella and me. But, if it worried Bella that much, I'd be more careful with the exchanges we made around him. Quil had apparently been a life saver, and I would have to thank him later for breaking Sam's concentration on us.

I woke up the next morning to the sun coming through the window. I was in shock at the sight of the sunlight, but felt it was a great way to begin our vacation. My Dad was up already and cooking breakfast in the kitchen. Bella was still sound asleep and I was not in the mood to wake her. I wanted her to sleep, especially since she deserved the rest.

Dad and I ate breakfast together and talked about plans for the week. He expressed how happy he was that Bella and I were getting along, and said that he appreciated the quieter atmosphere around here lately. I just smiled and nodded at him the entire time.

Bella finally emerged from her bedroom around ten that morning. She was dressed in flannel PJs and her hair was a mess. She looked like she had been hibernating all winter and had just come out to eat something. She yawned and stretched as she walked into the kitchen. She had never looked more beautiful.

Billy left for town with Harry to pick up fishing supplies a little later. Bella and I knew we would only have a couple of hours of alone time. I would have thought it the perfect opportunity to spend some "quality" alone time with her, but the fear of getting caught stopped the advancement.

She walked straight up to me and put her head on my chest and held me close to her. I responded and put my arms around her too and held her there. Her hair was all in tangles down her back. She was so damn cute.

She lifted her head up and said, "Good morning, I missed you."

I kissed her on the head. "I missed you too. Sleep well?"

"Can't you tell?"

I laughed. She knew how she looked, but it was great that she was so comfortable around me and not have to worry about how she looked all the time. Before Bella, I briefly had a girlfriend that was always concerned about her looks around me. She spent the majority of our time together staring in a mirror adjusting her hair or makeup. With Bella, she was so naturally beautiful - I'd never seen her have a moment of vanity.

"I'm hungry," she said.

She pulled away from me to make a bowl of cereal. She reached for the box, but it was too high for her to reach. I walked over and grabbed it off the top shelf easily, bringing it down toward the counter. She was pinned between me and the counter tops. I put the cereal down, and she had nowhere to go.

I looked down at her innocent face and kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pulled my face down to hers, and kissed me passionately. She reached her hands to my side and slid my shirt off my chest.

I hoped and prayed that Billy would stay out longer. Thank God he was with Harry, who drove a truck I could hear coming down the road.

I picked her up and sat her down on the counter top and I stood between her legs. She wrapped them around me and pulled me closer to her. She fumbled with the button on my jean for a second until she had them completely undone. She pushed my pants down around my ankles and I pulled her PJ bottoms off her, lifting her up on to the countertop.

She wrapped her legs around me, kissing each and every single square inch of my chest. Her hands rubbed my back and then she reached around to the front and grabbed my hardness and started to stroke it while kissing me with so much force I just knew she was going to draw blood from my lips.

I moaned into her mouth each time she moved her hand. She then pulled it straight to her wetness. She stopped kissing me long enough to stare me straight in the eye.

I knew what she wanted -and I was more than willing to give it to her.

I entered her slowly and her back arched away from me and she threw her head back moaning as I did.

Each time I entered her, she would shake with such delight that I couldn't stand it. My baby loved making love to me and the fact that she initiated it made me feel so much better about us. I was worried I would come off as the horn-dog who wanted it all the time.

I wanted so bad to finish inside of her, but I didn't want to take the chance. Before I could say anything, Bella pushed me back a bit, jumped off the countertop, and dropped to her knees. She took me into her mouth and I couldn't believe what I was witnessing. She handled me like the most delicate object ever, and her soft lips felt so good against me. It didn't take any time before I was ready to explode.

She looked up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes and that ended it for me. I let loose and she moaned as I did. She stood up and kissed me on the cheek and held me close to her.

She was giggling again and then she whispered, "Finally, some alone time."

I reached down for my pants and got them pulled back up and Bella put her PJ bottoms back up. I glanced at the box of cereal and said, "So are you going to eat or what?"

She pulled a bowl from the cabinet and sat it down on the counter top. I noticed she was eating a box of Captain Crunch and I always thought she didn't like that cereal. She said it was for little kids.

I picked up the box and looked her and said, "Captain Crunch? I thought you hated this."

She laughed before she stuck a spoonful of cereal in her mouth, "Well I wasn't going to eat this kind, but it kind of sparked my interest."

"And why is that?"

"Well, as the saying goes, you and the captain make it happen."

**BellaPOV**

I finished my breakfast and took a long hot shower. Jacob sat in the living room waiting on me. We decided to trek down to the beach today and spend some time together. I was worried what Billy would think but this wasn't a uncommon occurrence for Jacob and I.

We left Billy a note letting him know that we would be down at the beach and would be back before nightfall. Jacob and I were going to look for sand crabs. We figured we'd take anything else we could get our hands on - especially each other.

I put on my boots, Jake put on his sneakers and we were off on our little trip. As we walked on the beach Jacob asked me the strangest question.

"What was your first reaction to Edward Cullen?"

I looked at him, confused as to why he would bring this up.

"Well, I'll be honest with you Jake, and don't get angry - but he is attractive. But in comparison to you...well, you have him beat by a long shot."

Jake smiled. He wasn't expecting me to be honest, but the fact that I told him he was better looking straightened his ego out.

"Besides Jake, Edward didn't have mind blowing morning sex again with me. I'm in love with you, and always will be. No one can change that for me."

He grabbed my hand and we walked further down the beach. I felt like Jake was beginning to become scared I would leave him for someone else. He had no reason to every think that. Jacob was my life and I couldn't lose him ever.

I watched as the birds flew down out of the sky and hit the water looking for fish and other creatures to eat. The afternoon seemed to pass by so quickly as Jacob and I walked and discussed our plans for the future. We both are in the agreement that I'll hang out around Forks until he graduated and I would attend a community college until he was ready to go to a university.

We stopped just under this beautiful tree where the trail led back up to the house and he took my face into his hands and said, "From this point on, wherever you go, I'll go. And if anything should happen that I have to leave, I want you there with me."

He reached down to kiss me and I felt so grateful to have him.

**BillyPOV**

Life for Bella Swan was so hard for me to comprehend. I knew that I'd lost my wife and had to raise my three kids on my own - but Bella had no one left on this earth except Jacob and me. I have always considered Bella to be like my adopted daughter, and the day that Charlie died, I wanted nothing but to help her. When the state came to take her away from us, I fought tooth and nail to keep her; and that had been almost as hard as losing Charlie all over again. I was glad that they allowed her to stay.

When Bella started to withdraw from everyone and began arguing with Jacob, I began to question my ability to keep her in the house. I had considered sending her to live with Rebecca -I thought that maybe another female influence would help her. I'd even thought of sending Jacob to live there, but I would miss him too much. Jacob was my right hand man -the things that I couldn't do because of my limitations, I knew I could count on my son to do for me.

After the accident, I hated having to rely on others to help me; but even as a young boy, Jacob would volunteer to help me with whatever needed to be done. He'd never once complained to me about our situation and never really complained about Bella either. He'd always taken it in stride and shrug his shoulders when she would go off on him.

If the situation were different, I would have loved for Bella and Jacob to have worked out. Right before Charlie died, we noticed the two of them becoming closer and we were elated. It is such a shame that they can't seem to get along all the time now.

Another issue plaguing the ability for them to even consider dating is that I won't allow it under my roof. After what happened between Rebecca and me, when her boyfriend moved in with us, I've decided to not allow relationships to develop under my roof. I hated that I couldn't allow this - but I didn't want to create another problem like that.

When I got home that afternoon, I noticed that Jacob and Bella were nowhere to be found. I began to wonder where they went until I saw a note on the counter saying they were on the beach. I smiled and realized that they were having a good day and was again appreciative of Bella holding up her end of the deal. She promised to get along, and I was glad that she was truly putting forth the effort.

I went out to the porch to wait on them to return when Sam pulled up into the yard. He walked up to the porch where I sat.

"Afternoon Billy, have you seen Jacob around? I wanted to see if he could ride with me to Port Angeles tomorrow to get some things I need for my truck."

"Actually, Sam, him and Bella are out on the beach. You could walk out there if you'd like and see if you can catch up with them."

"Thanks, hey, by the way, have you noticed something odd between the two of them?"

"No actually I haven't. The only thing that seems to have changed is Bella seems nicer."

Sam shook his head and said, "That's what I mean. Did you hear what Jacob did to me about a month or so ago at school?"

"Yeah, I heard the two of you got into it at school, but I still don't know why. Jacob wouldn't tell me."

"He hit me, square in the nose. He got angry when I started talking bad about Bella to him. He laid me out flat in the parking lot of the school and then left."

I was in shock. I knew Jacob hated it when they picked on him about Bella, but he would normally only talk crap right back to them.

"Goodness, Sam, I wonder what came over him that day."

As Sam walked to the trail, he yelled back, "If you ask me Billy, I think Jake has a crush on Bella."

**JacobPOV**

I stood under the tree kissing my Bella and all was right with the world. The sun stayed out all day today, and I felt so much happier than I'd ever felt. She kept smiling at me after each kiss and then said,

"So why me, Jake? What makes me the lucky girl that gets your attention and love?"

I pulled a leaf off the tree that hung over us and said,

"Because, have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You are not only the most gorgeous girl in Forks, United States, hell, the universe, but you are so kind and caring... when you aren't yelling at me."

She blushed. "Well, I still feel bad for all the times I yelled. I can't believe I was such a bitch to you all this time. If it takes me forever, I'll make it up to you I swear."

"No worries. I feel as though you've already made it up to me."

I leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. I opened my eyes briefly to see Sam standing on the trail looking down at us with disgust on his face.

He turned and ran back up the trail. Before I could get to him, he was already on the porch with my Dad.

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A/N: I know what you are thinking, HOW DARE YOU! Keep in mind that in fantasy world, not everything goes according to plan… Big huge thanks to CandyP for the excellent proof job she always does… Now… keep reading to see what Billy does…. I also had a question as to how old Jacob and Bella are… they are still almost two years apart, Jacob just turned 16 before Charlie died, and Bella is 17.. and as we all know, Bella's birthday is in September... they are behind by a school year between the two of them...


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Pull out the tissues and get ready to hate me for a while… we all know this had to happen and I'm sorry that it does… but life does go on and well, I guess the story must also… I already hate myself for doing this to you… but it's for the best… SM owns everything, except the tears that will fall as I write this…

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**BellaPOV**

It was all over. I could tell by the look Billy held on his face as we made our way up the porch. Sam had a smug look on his face like he just accomplished the biggest upset ever – which he did.

"Bella Swan and Jacob Black, what the hell are the two of you thinking?"

Billy started to yell at us. And my tears started to fall harder.

"Don't you realize how much this hurts me to do this? I don't want to see anything happen to either of you but I have no choice but to fix this situation and fix it now before either one of you end up in some kind of trouble we both know won't do you any good to be in."

"But Dad, please, we wanted to tell you, but we knew you wouldn't allow it."

"Oh so you think it's ok to sneak around behind my back and carry on this relationship. Jacob, I'm utterly disappointed in you for doing this to me. You know how hard I had it with Rebecca."

Jacob's eyes welled up with tears too. I wanted so bad to reach over and smack the shit out of Sam for exposing us. I always knew he was jealous of Jacob for living with me. We all knew that Sam had a thing for me going on three years and I wouldn't even look at him. If this was his way of getting back at me, it was a shitty way of going about it.

"Billy, please," I cried, "We won't do anything you wouldn't want us to do. I love Jacob and I need him. He's been such a huge help in making me feel better about losing my dad. If I lose him, I won't know what to do with myself."

Billy couldn't even look at me. Instead, he glanced at Jacob and said, "Son, go inside, start packing your bags. I'm sending you to live with Rebecca for a while."

"No, Billy, please, don't make him leave. Please, I can't take this…" I pleaded with Billy.

Billy didn't say anything else. He instead went into the house to call Rebecca. Jacob glared at Sam who was shocked that Jacob was leaving.

"Sam, are you fucking happy now? Do you know what you've done? You are hands down the shittiest friend I've ever had and if you lay a hand on my Bella while I'm in California, I will walk home if I have to and beat the shit out of you."

"Jacob, I… I didn't know he'd send you away. I thought he'd send that bitch to California or a group home and not you and I'd at least have my friend back," Sam yelled at Jacob.

Jacob jumped off the chair and lunged at Sam knocking him back so hard the balcony to the front porch gave way and they were both on the ground. Jacob started beating Sam so hard in the face I just knew he was going to kill him.

"Jacob, stop! Stop now! It's not worth it! Let him go!!" I screamed at Jacob.

He stopped and looked at Sam who was covered in blood on his face. He stood up as Billy came out of the house to see what the screaming was all about. Sam somehow or another got up off the ground, gave Jacob the finger and the jumped in his truck and left.

I fell to my knees on the ground and started to cry so hard I couldn't stop. Jacob scooped me up into his arms and I put my head on his chest and cried. He walked past his dad and didn't say a word as he took me into my bedroom. He got down on his knees by my bedside and said,

"Bella, this is for the best right now. I hate this, I hate this more than anything in my life right now but we both know that if I don't do this, Billy could send you away to somewhere you don't want to be."

Jacob was right and I didn't like that he was. Billy could send me out of his house to live in foster care or a group home. I still couldn't hold back the tears though. I couldn't lose Jacob though, and this was the toughest decision the two of us have ever made.

Jacob didn't leave my side and I fell asleep holding his hand in mine.

**JacobPOV**

Packing my bags the next morning was hands down the worst time of my life. Bella refused to come out of her room and I didn't blame her for not wanting to help me. I let her stay in her room and brought her tissues when she needed them or hot tea when she could stop crying long enough to drink something.

Billy only spoke to me when it was to discuss my flight plans or how he would send me money to live with until I could find a job to help Rebecca with expenses. I could have cared less about the money. I wanted my Bella with me and I would have traded all that for her.

My flight was at four that afternoon and I was so unhappy. I called Quil to tell him what happened. He said he would keep an eye on Bella and if anything happened he would immediately let me know. I gave him Rebecca's number in California and told him to call me right away.

I then called Angela and told her what happened. She started crying on the phone for Bella. Angela was the greatest friend a girl could possibly have and I knew she'd look after Bella. She even said she'd be over later on that afternoon when I left to check on her.

The last two people I called were Alice and Edward Cullen. Edward answered the phone and as much as I hated to talk to him, I knew those two were going to be a huge help to Bella too.

"Hello."

"Edward, hi, this is Jacob."

"Oh, hey. What can I help you with Jacob?"

"Is Alice around by chance? I have something I need to ask of her."

"Actually, she's gone shopping with Rosalie and Esme, can I pass a message along for her," he said.

"Well, maybe. I wanted to let the both of you know that I'm being sent to live in California with my sister Rebecca. My dad found out about Bella and I and he wasn't exactly happy with the news."

Edward didn't say anything for a moment. Finally he said, "Is Bella ok?"

"She's very upset. She's barely eating or saying a word to anyone and I hate it that she's like this. I need for you and Alice to keep an eye on her while I'm gone. I don't know when I'll be returning. If she needs help with anything, promise me you'll help her."

"You've got it. I'm so sorry that this happened. I hope things do work out for the two of you though. Bella seemed so happy since she found you."

So Edward wasn't really after my Bella this whole time. He was just being a good friend to her. I felt bad for even questioning his intentions for her.

"Thanks Edward, this means a lot. Here's my number for Rebecca's and if anything happens or whatever, call me as soon as you can ok?"

I gave Edward the number and he said he would stay in touch and let me know how Bella was doing. By the time three in the afternoon rolled around, I went into Bella's room. Angela was on her way to stay with Bella while my dad and I rode with Harry to the airport.

When Sue found out that Billy was making me leave, she tried her hardest to convince Billy that this was a mistake to make me leave. For the first time ever, Billy wasn't swayed by what Sue had to say to him, and to preserve the friendship, Sue dropped the issue. However, she wasn't above reminding him that this was a huge mistake.

Bella looked so pitiful as she lay on her bed. She held her goose down pillow in her arms and still had tears falling from her eyes. I knelt down beside her and took her hand into mine.

"Bella, this isn't good bye for either of us. I'm still here on this earth, and as long as I am, I will always be your Jacob."

She sat up and hugged me so hard. I hated to let her go and I wanted so bad to tell my Dad that he wasn't going to take me away from Bella, but I couldn't allow him to send her away.

Harry came into Bella's bedroom looking very somber. Bella looked up at him and Harry said, "Jacob, it's time to go. You'll be late for your flight."

I let Bella's embrace go. Instead I grabbed her hand and as I walked away, our hands slipped out of each other barely hanging on by our fingertips until I was out the door.

The worst part of the drive to the airport was the silence that held over my Dad and me during the trip. I wanted so bad to tell him how much I hated him for what he was doing to Bella and I. By the time we got to the airport, I was ready to let him have it.

Harry helped my dad out of the truck and the three of us walked to the gate together. I turned to my dad, and said, "If anything happens to Bella while I'm gone, I'm holding you responsible for her."

"Jacob, please, don't leave with this kind of attitude towards me."

"It's too late. You've already done the damage and I will never forgive you for the pain you've put us through. You are no better than that snitching son-of-a-bitch Sam. Good luck in trying to keep us apart. It will never happen."

**BellaPOV**

I shut down. I didn't want to eat. I couldn't even answer the phone when it would ring. Jacob called me when he got to Rebeccca's house and I could barely talk to him. I didn't hate Jacob. It just hurt too damn much to talk to him. I'm sure I hurt his feelings when we got off the phone.

When Jacob left he didn't even tell me that he loved me. Hell, he didn't even say goodbye. He just walked out of my room leaving me to my own misery and my heart felt like it was ripped out my chest with so much force I wouldn't have even noticed if I died right in my bed. I already felt dead without him with me.

Angela has tried so hard to cheer me up and spoke with me every single day during spring break. Spring break ended so quickly and not having Jacob to take me to school was the hardest part. Billy in some weird sick twisted way tried to make it up to me by giving me Jacob's truck to drive back and forth to school. I hated driving it without him in it.

The Monday after Jacob left, I didn't even want to set foot on the campus of Fork's High School. If it wasn't for Angela being there to comfort and support me, I wouldn't have done it. Alice and Edward were right with me from the start of the day until the very end.

It was Monday and the first place I couldn't wait to get was the docks to see my dad. I needed to talk to him and I hoped that by some miracle, he was really watching over me and would help fix this situation for me. I was so used to having Jacob fix everything about me and I didn't know how to do it all on my own.

I pulled to the docks and turned the truck off. I sat for a moment debating on whether or not I was even in the mood to talk to my dad. Despite the questioning, I still got out and walked to the end and sat down to talk.

"Dad, what could I do to make this better again? I love Jacob so much and the mere fact that he's not sitting with me at the end of this dock makes me very unhappy. Please, Dad, you've got to help me here."

I began to weep. I hated the fact that I was crying on the docks. I'd finally gotten past the crying and grieving for my dad. I missed him horribly and wanted my life to go back to when I was happy.

"Well you know, you could always ask me to help," a voice said from behind me.

**EdwardPOV**

Jacob asked me to keep an eye on Bella and that was exactly what I was going to do. I'd never been a fan of not keeping promises. When she showed up for school on Monday morning I was worried sick about her. She looked like she' not slept since Jacob left and the sparkle she once held in her eyes were gone. She was a shell of a woman who once had a lot more spunk than that.

Alice was worried sick about her too and when Bella didn't said a word during their Biology class, Alice immediately came to me and wondered what we could do. I had not a clue and wondered if I even wanted to get involve with this.

All that changed when Angela approached me during lunch.

Angela had barely said a couple of words directly at me. She was always with Bella in anything they did and their conversations were always about them or their plans.

Angela walked up to me as I sat down at the table and said she needed to talk but not in the cafeteria. Bella was in the library curled up with a book and refused to talk to anyone.

We walked outside to talk.

"Edward, I'm coming to you because you are the only one who I think can help with this."

"Why do you think I can do anything? Alice is the one you should talk to."

"I already did. She's all for it but you've got to be in on it too. She's already got Jasper on board but I need your help."

Angela, despite being average looking, had a beautiful heart and knew that it would kill Bella to be away from Jacob any longer. I admired her ability to want to help and finally agreed to it.

"Fine, but this is risky, for everyone involved. My dad is going to have a fit when this goes down."

"I know, and I would go with the four of you but this will already be a crowded trip. I'll stay here to keep an eye on Billy and report back to you when he realizes what is going on."

It was decided. Alice, Jasper and I would help Bella get Jacob back, even if it meant driving her to Sacramento.

**JacobPOV**

Bella was angry with me for leaving her. She made it so apparent the entire time we talked on the phone when I got to California. I felt awful for leaving her behind too. I only hoped that she could get through this and hopefully in the future Dad would realize what he was doing to us.

I settled in ok for the first week of living in Sacramento. It was different. The sun shone tons more than in Forks and I had to start in a new school that Monday. I hated being the new guy but I figured I'd better make the best of it while I was here. I still had two years of school left and if it was going to be stuck here, I needed to get to know people.

My classes were small and I was thankful for that. On the reservation the classes were tiny and this made me feel more at ease.

I'd call Bella each night since I left but it was always a brief conversation and I couldn't bear to hear her start to cry on the phone. She'd always leave the phone in tears once it was time to talk to Billy. My Dad still hasn't acknowledged what he's done to us.

Rebecca has tried her best to make things easier for me. She allows me to use her car when she doesn't need it and I've already found a great place to hang out after school. The only thing missing is my Bella right beside me. I needed her like I needed air to breathe and I felt like I was drowning in my own Bella deprivation.

The afternoon of my first day at the new school, I was in my new room at Rebecca's and she yelled down the hallway to say that I had a phone call. I thought it might be Bella but instead it was Quil.

"Jacob, hey man how are you doing?"

"I'm doing ok, despite the situation. Is everything ok? Is Bella ok?"

"Actually, that's why I'm calling you. Apparently she's gone missing."

I nearly dropped the phone and began to go into freak out mode.

"What do you mean she's missing?"

"Billy called my dad, Sam, Angela and the Cullens and no one has seen her."

"She likes to go to the docks after school on Monday afternoon and she should be there."

"Jacob, they found your truck, empty, there this afternoon and she was nowhere to be found."

I felt dizzy and then everything turned dark.

**BellaPOV**

"What do you mean I should have asked you for help? How on earth could you possibly help with this?" I asked Edward as he stood over me on the dock.

Edward knelt down beside me reaching for a handkerchief out of his pocket for me to dry my eyes.

"Well, I was told to keep an eye on you by Jacob and that if you needed anything I was to help. So if you could just ask for Jacob back, I can help with that."

"How… are you going to drive to California, kidnap him and bring him back to me?"

"Not exactly, it's more of I kidnap you and take you to him."

I thought Edward was losing his mind. Didn't he realize what kind of trouble he could get into if he did this?

"Edward, you are a fucking lunatic if you think this will work. Billy will have the cops on us like white on rice if we do this."

He smiled and said, "I like to live dangerously. Besides, I'm sick of this town anyway and I barely did anything for spring break. It would do us some good to get out of here for a while. Alice is already buying extra clothes for you so you don't have to go home. She should be here any minute with them. Then we'll drive back to my house, drop off my car and we'll be on the road."

"What about Jacob's truck? I just can't leave it here."

"Sure you can. Besides, you won't need it."

I looked at Edward who was so serious about doing this.

"So it's you, me and Alice going to California?"

"No… you, me, Alice and Jasper. We need to stick together on this and having the four of us would make it easier to travel."

He was really serious. I looked behind me to see Alice sitting in a black BMW waiting on us. Edward stood up from his kneeling position and reached his hand down to me. I took it and stood up at the end of the dock.

"Edward, why on earth are you doing this?"

He looked at me with a somber look on his face and said, "Because I think nothing should stand in the way of true love."

If this was my dad's way of answering my prayers, he'd better be prepared to see me sooner than we expected. Billy was going to kill me for doing this.

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A/N: Now don't all of you feel bad for thinking the worst of ole EddieC.? This is where the fun begins. I just love road trips and a lot of the things that happened on the several years I spent on the road will come into play in this story. I'm so glad I made it through this chapter without crying so much, but it was still hard to write. Thanks for all the support to my readers. I never thought I'd have these many hits and this many comments on my story. Huge thanks to CandyP and the huge pedestal she's put me up on for writing this story. Without her keen eye for proofing and constant need for reading more, I would be lost without her. And thanks again to the people who've left comments and all the followers of my story, you guys R to the O-C-K. Again, comments make me write faster.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Can you say Road Trip? Writing this reminds me of all the wonderful road trips I've taken over the years… SM owns everything, except Interstate 5… which I think belongs to the US gov. Ok so then she technically owns it by proxy…

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**BellaPOV**

I couldn't believe I was about to run away from home. I remembered all those years as a small child threatening to run away from home when Charlie yelled at me for something I'd done wrong. I never actually left though, and now what I was doing felt almost juvenile. But I couldn't help how much I needed Jacob. Billy was just going to have to be angry with me.

I left Jacob's truck in the parking lot of the docks. I knew that would be the first place that Angela would tell them to look. By the time we got to the Cullen house, I knew the exact route we were taking, how many stops we'd make. The one question plaguing me, though, was,

"Where would we sleep?"

"Simple enough, we have fake Ids," Alice said. "We have the ability to get hotel rooms."

"But Alice, your credit cards could be traced. I'm sure your dad would give them your credit card numbers, and that would be the end of it."

"Silly girl, our dad knows what we're doing."

Shock ran over my face. Didn't Dr. Cullen know that he was pretty much contributing to the delinquency of a minor?

"Your dad knows?"

"Of course. I refuse to do anything without his knowledge. It's what keeps our relationship great."

Edward laughed from the back seat, "You mean you do almost everything with his knowledge. I'm sure there are some things you do that Dad could care less about hearing."

Alice threw him an evil look from the rearview mirror as we pulled into the drive of the Cullen house.

Alice turned to me and said, "My dad is going to pretend that we are off in Chicago visiting a relative if someone comes asking for us."

"Alice I can't allow everyone to lie for me. This is all too much. I can't allow you to do this."

"Bella, I know what it's like to almost lose the one person that you love more than anything in this world. I was lucky enough to have a very understanding parent that would do anything to help. I just want the same for you and Jacob."

She reached over and hugged me. We got out of the BMW. Apparently we were taking Edwards's silver Volvo to Sacramento. Alice ran me upstairs to pull things out of bags and get the rest of her clothes packed. She pulled a small leather suitcase out for me and began packing my clothes too.

I heard someone come up behind us, and looked to see Esme was standing in the doorway watching us.

"Bella, if you need anything, Alice will call us and we'll make sure it's taken care of."

"Mrs. Cullen, I…"

"Bella, please call me Esme. You don't have to say a word. I am a true believer that two people who love each other shouldn't be kept apart. We'll handle things here. You just get Jacob back where he belongs."

I hugged Esme. I'd never known what it was really like to have a mom around, but if I had to choose what she would be like, Esme would be the closest thing.

Alice was finished in a flash and she whisked me downstairs where Emmett, Rosalie and Dr. Cullen were. She stopped right at the main entrance to the house. Edward came in the front door with Jasper and we all stood there looking at each other.

Finally Dr. Cullen said, "Bella, you go get him."

He reached over and hugged me, as did Emmett and Rosalie. I was in shock that Rosalie hugged me, but ever since she found out that I was dating Jacob, she seemed nicer to me.

The rest of the Cullens hugged each other and then we were out the door. We piled into Edward's car and off we went, ready to bring my Jacob home.

We passed by the "Now Leaving Forks, Washington" sign and I wondered if I should call him.

"Hey Alice, do you think I should call Jake? I'm sure someone is going to tell him that I'm missing and he'll be in all kinds of panic if I don't let him know I'm ok."

"Yes, but don't call him from your cell or ours."

She looked at Edward from the back seat and Edward immediately pulled into a gas station. I got out and put quarters into a pay phone. I didn't even think they still made these with everyone having cell phones.

I dialed the number to Rebecca's and when the other end was picked up, I immediately freaked. Rebecca answered the phone and I didn't know what to say. I motioned for Jasper to get out of the car. He ran up to me and said, "Oh hi, yes is Jacob available."

I heard Rebecca say, "Sure one moment."

I waited for a minute and finally Jacob came to the phone.

"Hello," Jacob said.

"Don't say a word or make a face Jacob. I'm ok and I love you."

"Oh hi Quil, how's it going?" Jacob said.

"I'm fine. I'm coming to get you."

"Do you think that's a great idea? I mean, Billy is looking hardcore for Bella."

Ah. Hell. Billy already knew I was missing.

"Yes, I do think it is a good idea. We'll figure out the details once I get you, but I can't live another day without you Jacob Black. You have Edward, Alice and Jasper Cullen to thank for this. They are driving me to Sacramento to get you."

"Quil, if they do find Bella before I talk to her again, tell her I miss her and I need her in my life. Thanks bud, take care."

He hung up the phone.

My Jacob was a smooth operator. I put the phone back on the receiver and Jasper was impressed.

"Jacob certainly has a way of keeping things under wraps."

"Well Jasper, when you've been sneaking around for over a month, it starts to come naturally."

**JacobPOV**

I passed out after Quil told me that Bella was missing. Rebecca immediately ran down the hallway to see what happened. She found me on the floor and got me to finally come to.

"What the hell just happened?" Rebecca asked me.

"Quil called and said that Bella was missing. They found my truck at the docks and they have no sign of Bella."

She gasped. "Oh no, Jacob. I'm sorry. I hope she hasn't done anything stupid."

Some friends she had. I asked them to keep an eye on her and they let her disappear. The phone rang again and I didn't know if I could stand anymore bad news.

Rebecca answered the phone. She said it was a guy, but when I answered it, the voice of an angel was on the other end.

Bella was the smartest girl I'd ever met in my entire life. The Cullens were bringing her to me and we had to figure out what to do from that point. I had no idea how long it would take her to be with me again, but I couldn't wait to see her.

I had to keep up another charade now. I had to pretend I had no idea where Bella was. It was actually easier than I thought it could be. I really had no idea where she was and I wanted to keep it that way until I actually had her in my arms.

I decided to call my dad. He needed to know that Quil called to let me know that Bella was missing.

"Jacob, thank God you called, Bella's missing."

"I know Dad. Quil let me know. Do you have any idea where she is?"

"The cops have no leads. There were no unusual tire tracks other than the truck tires and no unusual foot prints."

"Dad, please keep me up to date. I can't believe Bella is gone. I shouldn't have left Forks, or should I say, I shouldn't have let you make me leave."

Billy sighed on the other line. "Jacob, I'm sorry I made you leave, but it was for the best."

"Oh sure Dad, and now Bella is missing and you still think it's for the best. Thanks, Dad."

I hung the phone up in a rush. I couldn't believe that, even though Bella was missing, he still thought sending me to Sacramento was the best route to go.

The waiting game began and I hated not knowing exactly where she was. All I could concentrate on was seeing her beautiful face again.

**BellaPOV**

We would be on the road for at least a day and a half to Sacramento. The GPS had us pointed due south and it was estimated at fourteen hours. Alice reassured me it wouldn't take that long to get there. With the way her and Edward were driving, I thought we could make it in one day.

It was a little crowded in the backseat with Alice. It's hard to believe that someone so tiny could take up so much room. She had her bags of things to do: puzzles, iPod, PSP… you name it; she had it for a road trip.

We were going steady until we got Portland, Oregon. That was where Alice decided that we would stop. She called ahead to a very nice hotel and got a room for the four of us. I'd never stayed in anything better than a Best Western. It really bothered me that they were spending so much money on this room because of my situation.

The five hour drive didn't do me any good. I was a nervous wreck – not just for me, but for everyone involved. This was a very risky move to get Jacob. I needed to come up with some kind of plan for when we returned. I knew that Billy wouldn't allow us to stay in his house and I couldn't touch my money for another couple of months.

I guess I could have gotten a job or something. The more I thought about all this the more it seemed like this wasn't the best idea. Just two hours outside of Portland I went into freak out mode.

"Edward, pull the car over!" I yelled at him.

He pulled it over and I got out and started to pace up and down the highway crying extremely hard and freaking out. Alice and Jasper got out of the car to console me.

"Bella, what is it, what's wrong?"

"I… I can't do this. Even if I get Jacob back, when we get into Forks again, who's to say that Billy won't send him away again? Who's to say that Billy won't press charges against the three of you for kidnapping? What if he sends me away to live in a home or something? Alice, this was a mistake, I can't do this…"

Alice grabbed me and hugged me tight. Jasper got in on our group hug and they both hugged me on the side of I-5 in the middle of the night. I'm sure it looked really odd to the passing cars.

"Bella, it's going to be ok. This will work out for the best for everyone involved. I can promise you that Billy won't press charges against us. Carlisle won't allow it and on top of that, once he sees what you are willing to do to keep Jacob with you, he may even let all this go."

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. Edward patiently waited in the car for us and once I was under control, we got back in the car. He looked over at me and said, "Are you ok? Do we need to stop sooner?"

"No, I'm ok. I'm sorry about that."

Edward patted my hand and smiled at me. He put the car back into drive and we took off back to Portland.

**JacobPOV**

The waiting was killing me slowly. It had been almost five hours since I heard Bella's voice and I had no idea where she was. My dad called me one more time since she went missing to say that they still have no idea where she was. He said that the cops were talking to her friends.

I began to wonder if Angela had any knowledge of this. I reached for my phone book and gave her a quick call, but no one was at home. I'm sure everyone in town knew by now that she'd run away. I hope that this wouldn't affect her in school once we got back. She'd finally gotten over all the whispers behind her back. This would only create more.

Rebecca went on about her business like nothing was wrong, and it bugged me a ton. I thought she would have been more supportive in all this, especially since she'd gone through it all. She went to work her nightshift job at the bar and left Paul and me to fend for ourselves.

Paul was a really cool guy. He was acting more supportive than my sister. I guess he actually remembered what it was like to lose the one person you loved.

"You know Jacob, I think it would be hella-romantic if Bella came to whisk you up from Sacramento."

I laughed, "You know, I was thinking the same thing earlier today."

Paul brought me a PB&J sandwich and we sat on the sofa for a while and talked.

"How did you do it Paul? How did you stay away from Rebecca for so long?"

"I actually didn't. When your dad was asleep, I'd sneak in once he started snoring."

I laughed so hard I almost blew milk out of my nose.

"Yeah, I know that feeling. Bella would sneak out of her room after Dad's snoring began to spend time with me. I really hate sleeping without her in the same house as me."

Paul put his hand on my shoulders. "Jacob, you have yourself a good girl there. I just hope nothing has happened to her."

_You and me both Paul… you and me both._

**BellaPOV**

We got just an hour away from our stop and Alice started singing silly campfire songs in the car. Edward looked like he could have killed her. Then she began doing the "are we there yet" bullshit and that was when I thought Edward was really going to pull over, throw her over the edge of the highway, and keep going.

Jasper was really quiet. He never really said much and I could see why. Alice seemed to talk enough for the both of them. I learned more than I ever needed to know about her and her family. Apparently, she even had high fashion sense when she lived in the foster home. I wondered how she pulled that off, but knowing Alice, she found a way to get what she wanted.

Edward also seemed unusually quiet. I thought that maybe he was just tired and was trying to concentrate on the road. I asked him if he'd like for me to drive for a while, but he said that it was ok and that he had it under control. I felt bad that he was doing the majority of the driving.

We finally ended up in Portland a little after midnight and checked into the hotel room. Alice's fake ID passed inspection. I guess they really didn't care to check too hard when you were paying as much as she did for the room. I was so hungry. I hadn't had anything to eat since we left Forks and I wanted something to eat and fast. I looked across the street and saw a twenty-four hour breakfast place and had an instant craving for pancakes.

We took our luggage up to the room and threw everything on our beds. Alice booked a two bedroom suite and I'd never seen anything like this in my life. Alice and Jasper had one room, I had the other and Edward was sleeping on the pull out in the living room.

I walked as fast as I could to the restaurant and we took a seat.

I ordered pancakes, sausage, eggs, toast and a tall glass of chocolate milk. Edward raised his eyebrows at me when I said chocolate milk.

"What? I like chocolate milk."

He just laughed and ordered his food, which included coffee. I guess I was just too childish for him.

I grabbed my knife and the salt shaker and showed them the joke that Jacob showed me one night at the diner. I thought Jasper was going to laugh so hard he'd blow coffee out his mouth. He let a little bit slip and it hit Edward's finely pressed collared shirt.

Edward grabbed a napkin off the table and began to wipe the coffee off his sleeve. He had a frustrated look on his face and I just knew he was going to go off on Jasper. Instead he burst into laughter too - and before I knew it, we were all laughing so hard the entire restaurant was staring at us.

We calmed ourselves down as the food arrived. Alice stood up and left the table and I couldn't figure out what she was doing. She went straight for the jukebox and started playing all kinds of off the wall music. The older people the in the restaurant just groaned and ate faster so they could pay and leave. It amazed me how the four of us singlehandedly took over an entire establishment.

After we stuffed ourselves silly, we left a huge tip to the waitress for her troubles and walked back to the hotel. I saw a pay phone just outside of the hotel and took note of it. I needed to call Jacob first thing in the morning to let him know I was only nine hours away from him.

Once we got into the room, Alice and Jasper retired to their private room but I still couldn't sleep. I was still a nervous wreck despite calming down from my earlier anxiety attack. Edward was up too, watching TV.

I sat beside him for a long time not saying a word. Finally, I looked over at him and said, "I still can't believe you asked me out on a date."

Edward looked over at me with a confused look on his face. "Where did that just come from?"

"I don't know. I think of random things sometimes and I just remembered that. I wanted to let you know that I was flattered though."

Edward grinned, "So are you saying that if you didn't have Jacob, you would have said yes?"

My cheeks turned red. "I don't know, to be honest. Even before Jacob, I wasn't exactly in the right kind of place to be in any kind of relationship. Jacob was the only person that could put up with my bullshit and took me for face value."

"I'll just take that as a hypothetical yes, then," Edward said.

I hit him with a pillow. "You can't call that a hypothetical yes if I didn't say yes."

Edward turned to me. "You can't be serious. I saw the way you looked at me when you first saw me. It is definitely a hypothetical yes."

I crossed my arms and pouted. He was right. If Jacob hadn't been in my life I probably would have said yes to Edward. However, at this moment I couldn't even think of anyone other than Jacob and a sudden wave of sadness ran over me.

I felt the tears start to fall before I realized what I was doing.

"Whoa, whoa, Bella. I didn't mean to make you upset."

Edward reached over and gave me a huge hug. "I'm sorry. I know you love Jacob with everything. I was just trying to cheer you up."

I smiled at him, "Edward I know you were. I'm just worried. I am so excited to see him tomorrow, but what if Rebecca won't let him leave?"

"Well then we'll just have to figure out a way to sneak him out of the house then. I swear Bella, if you spent as much time planning as you did worrying, you'd be a lot happier person."

That was the second time in two weeks I've heard someone tell me I worried too much and look what happened.

"I guess you are right. I just need to come up with a game plan for tomorrow, and for when we get home."

"Well I think you need some sleep. We have a nine hour trip tomorrow and you'll finally be with Jacob. Go to bed and dwell on that, not the bad things."

Edward kissed the top of my head and I went to my room. I turned off the lamp and watched as the moon shone through the window. I would wake tomorrow and be back with the one I loved. That was something I could definitely dwell on.

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A/N: I can't wait for tomorrow... oh wait, I mean the next chapter. CandyP has been a huge help in preparing me for my writing. She's sent me songs to have more inspiration by and well, the next chapter will have the soundtrack that I carefully picked out by hand (and by CandyP's hands) to give you exactly what has inspired me to write this story. The biggest inspiration came from a quote in Eclipse,

"_He's like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can't live without  
him now. It's too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a  
drug; I would have been the air, the sun."_

Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.599

When I read that part in Eclipse, my heart melted for Jacob. I hated that he couldn't have Bella and come hell or high water, Jacob Black would be with Bella if I had anything to do with it. So keep on reading and leaving me comments. I love seeing what you have to say and you all have been too kind!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: It's getting close to the reunion between Bella and Jacob and I'm so excited I can't stand myself. I think I've developed carpel tunnel from typing too much at once. I just hate keeping all of you in suspense. But you all have been great. SM owns the characters and I've always wondered how many shiny Silver Volvo's she owns… she makes a great PR person for sure and the Volvo Company should reward her for it… I know I promised a playlist but I can't figure out how to link it on here.. maybe I can get away with it on my profile.

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**JacobPOV**

I hadn't spoken to Bella since earlier today, and as it approached midnight the worst fears started to overcome me. I was so scared that she either got caught and they had to drag her back kicking and screaming to Forks, or she was in a ditch somewhere due to the Cullens' habit of speeding.

I needed to see her - if I didn't soon, I was going to lose it. I paced back in forth in my room for hours during the night. Rebecca was still at work, and I heard a knock at my door. Paul was coming to check on me.

"Jacob, you ok in there? You seem to be making circles in the carpet. I'm worried you'll bore a hole straight through the floor."

"Yeah, I'm just worried sick about Bella."

"Well why don't you try calling her?"

"I don't know if she'll answer."

Paul looked at me funny. Then his eyes got narrow and he smiled.

"You know where she is don't you?"

I couldn't stand it.

"Yes, I do."

"She's coming to get you isn't she?"

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Well, if that was Rebecca, she would have done the same thing. In fact, she did do the same thing. After Billy threw me out of the house, Rebecca and I had to sneak around for a long time. When your dad figured out that we were still dating, he gave Rebecca an ultimatum. She could either stop seeing me or she could move out of the house. She told him she needed to stay in the house."

"Of course I was literally devastated by her choosing to live with your dad instead of being with me. One week after she made the promise to never see me again, she ran away from home and we haven't been happier."

I felt like history was repeating itself with my family.

"Please don't tell Rebecca. She'll immediately tell Dad and it will all be over with."

Paul smiled. "I think Rebecca has forgotten what it was like for us to have to go through the same thing. I'll keep it a secret, but once Bella gets here, you know Rebecca is going to call your dad."

"Hopefully we'll get far enough away from here before Rebecca can do anything about it."

Paul's eyes narrowed at me again. "You know Jacob, if you actually trusted Rebecca with this information, you might be surprised. She could be more understanding than you think."

"But you just said she seems to have forgotten what it was like for the two of you."

"Yes, I did. But if you show her how much you and Bella love each other, she'll remember. If she doesn't, I'll help to remind her."

**BellaPOV**

I awoke with the Oregon sunlight coming through the curtains of our hotel room. I'd almost forgotten that we were in Portland. I had almost forgotten my purpose for being in this room until my phone rang. It was Rebecca's number. I knew I couldn't answer the call, so I let it go to voicemail. I immediately jumped up and threw on a robe, grabbed my change purse, and darted out the door.

I went straight to the payphone I had seen the night before and called Jacob back.

"Hello," the voice whispered.

"Hey Jake, my God I've missed you."

"My Bella, I've missed you horribly, too. Are you ok?" he whispered back.

"I'm more than ok. We're only nine hours away from you. I can't wait to finally have you back in my arms. I've missed you so much."

"Bella, I need to get off the phone, but when you didn't call back I started to get worried. I'll see you shortly. Please be careful."

"I love you Jacob Black, and once I have you in my arms, I'll never let you go again."

Then the receiver went dead. I wondered if maybe Rebecca came into the room, causing Jacob to have to get off the phone quickly.

I didn't care. I was on my way to get my Jacob and nothing was going to get in my way.

I ran back up stairs and everyone as waking up and packing. After everyone freshened up and finished getting their things together, we headed down to check out. Edward went to retrieve the car and we sat on our luggage waiting on him to return.

When Edward finally returned, he didn't have the car.

"Edward, where's the car," Alice asked.

"Fucking hell, Alice… someone has booted our car for parking in a non-parking spot!"

Great. Just what we needed.

"Did they leave a number? We can just get them out here to take it off if we pay the ticket," Alice said.

Edward stopped dead in his tracks and walked back to the car. Again we sat and waited on Edward to return. When he did, he was on the phone.

"What do you mean you can't get anyone out here until this afternoon to get this boot off my car? I'm ready to pay you and you are telling me you can't get anyone here? What kind of establishment are you running?"

My head fell in between my hands. Just what we fucking needed. I was not going to sit here and wait on some jackass to come get a boot off this damn car.

I stood up and grabbed my bag and started walking. Alice looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

"Bella, where the hell do you think you are going?"

"I did not get all this way for some fucking stupid ass, yellow, jacked up tire boot to stop me from getting Jacob. If I have to fucking walk all the way to Sacra-freakin-mento, California, I'll gladly walk until my fucking legs fall off. Are you going to try to stop me?."

Alice ran up to me, "Bella this isn't the end of the world. We'll get to Sacramento, today. We've just got to figure something out."

I watched as Edward had issues getting the guy to agree to come out to get the boot off the car. I walked up to Edward and snatched the phone straight out of his hand. He looked at me utterly shocked.

"Hello, sir, hi, listen, we have got to have this car as soon as possible. We were on our way from Washington to get my brother from Sacramento. He's got to get back to Seattle as soon as possible. He's been waiting on a kidney transplant for months and they just found him a match. I really need this car now please…"

I closed up the phone and handed it back to Edward. "He'll be here in fifteen minutes."

I walked my frustrated ass to the corner of the hotel and waited on the man. I stretched out and let the Oregon sun hit my face while Alice, Edward and Jasper stood in shock over my sudden ability to stand up for myself, and apparently, lie. I must admit, it felt great.

The man arrived within fifteen minutes just like he said. He sent his condolences to my family and hoped that poor Jacob's surgery was a success. I thanked him, and we were on our way to California.

**JacobPOV**

"Jacob Black, please tell me that wasn't Bella you were just on the phone with."

Rebecca looked like she was ready to kill me. I couldn't lie to her though.

"Yes it was."

"Where the hell is she? Doesn't she realize that Billy is ready to string her up by her toes for pulling this kind of stunt?"

"I'm not really sure where she is. All she said was that she was safe."

"Don't you think you should call you father and tell him that she's ok?"

"Rebecca, what the hell difference does it make? Is it going to change the way my dad feels about this situation? No, its not. You and I both know how much of a stubborn jackass he can be at times."

"Jacob Black, that is no way to talk about your father."

"Well I do remember a time when you said those exact same words to him in person. Or have you forgotten what it was like to be kept away from the one person you love? Do you remember how bad it hurt when that hole was created deep inside your chest and there was not a damn thing you could do about it?"

Rebecca's face had a wave of dismay come over her. I think Paul was right. She had forgotten how hard she fought to keep him and since she didn't have to worry about Dad's point of view, she'd also forgotten how difficult it was to communicate with our father. A single tear fell from my sister's eye, and I could see that the memories of what she had gone through rushed back through her.

"Jacob, where is she? Please be honest with me."

"She's nine hours away."

"Good, be packed by the time she gets here. You belong to her and she needs you just as much as you need her. I'm so sorry I allowed Dad to talk me into letting you stay here."

I ran up to my older sister and hugged her tight.

"Just be careful and be safe. I'll handle Dad on my end."

"Thank you Rebecca," I whispered to her.

I glanced at the doorway to the living room and saw Paul standing in it sipping on a cup of hot tea with a giant smile on his face.

**BillyPOV**

I had been worried sick about Bella since she disappeared. I didn't know she was capable of running away. I knew that she was unhappy about my sending Jacob away, but this didn't seem like the Bella I knew.

I feared that she was kidnapped but no one seemed to have any leads as to who would do such a thing. They even brought Sam in for questioning after I mentioned the altercation that he had with Jacob, but nothing turned up there.

I was at a loss for words and I had no idea what I needed to do. I talked to her friend, Angela and she had nothing. Then I tried that new family that just moved here, the Cullens, and the father said that three of their kids were in Chicago with relatives for the week. Even Quil had no idea.

As the hours turned into a full day of her missing, I was beginning to fear the worst. I know they found Jacob's truck at the lake and I was beginning to wonder if maybe she drowned. The police said that if she didn't return in another twenty-four hours, they would send a dive team down.

I felt awful. I promised Charlie when Bells and Jake were kids that if something ever happened to him that I would take care of her. I felt like I was letting Charlie down. Hell, I was letting Bella down.

As I watched the sun come up on Tuesday morning, I couldn't help but wonder if I made the right choice by sending Jacob away. I know that he and Bella had never done anything together to intentionally get in trouble, at least not since they were kids.

Bella did seem happier in the last few weeks. Realizing this, I started to feel the guilt replacethe anger I had felt towards them for sneaking around my back. If I'd only been more supportive, they wouldn't have felt the need to sneak around.

I still had no idea what to do. All I could hope was that she was safe.

And I hoped Jacob could forgive me.

**BellaPOV**

We drove four hours before I started to get hungry. Alice looked at me like I'd grown horns when I told her I wanted McDonald's for lunch. She made gagging noises at me as I chomped down on my double cheeseburger.

"Don't you realize what they put in those burgers?" she asked.

"Don't you realize I don't give a shit. I'm hungry."

Edward laughed from the backseat. Alice's nose was turned up the entire time until I finished my last bite of burger. Jasper and Edward both ordered chicken nuggets and grossed Alice out the entire time they ate - chewing loudly and moaning over how good they were.

We drove for two more hours before I stopped again to call Jacob. He instantly answered the phone.

"Jacob, I'm so glad you answered. I had Jasper standing here with me in case it was Rebecca."

"Well you don't have to worry about her anymore. She knows."

"Jacob, no. She can't. She's going to go straight to your dad…"

"Bella, baby, it's fine. She's ok. She helped me pack and all. She's all for me going with you. She said she'd even help us handle Dad. I think she felt guilty and remembered what it was like to go through what we're going through now."

A huge relief flew through me and weight was lifted off my shoulders.

"This is great news Jacob. I cannot wait to see you. It won't be long now."

Jacob told me he loved me and I got back into the car after Alice gassed up the car.

"Rebecca knows," I said as soon as I got in the car.

"Well that's just wonderful," Jasper said.

"Actually, it's a good thing. She's helping Jacob pack right now. She's happy that I'm coming to get him."

"What, is she already tired of him or something?" Edward joked from the back seat.

"No, jackass. She's being a romantic at heart."

Alice glanced over at me and smiled. "Well, that makes five of us then."

The rest of the drive couldn't fly by fast enough. I called Jacob back once more on our trip just to get the address to Rebecca's house so we could plug it into the GPS system. When I got back to Forks and was able to get to my money, I was totally getting one of those things.

The last hour of the journey was the worst. We would be entering Sacramento during late afternoon traffic. Each red light that we stopped at seemed to take twice as long to change. The old people who, under normal conditions, would piss me off by driving slow in the slow lane seemed to drive even slower in the fast lane today. There were a couple of times I found myself fighting the urge to yell out the window to get them the fuck out of my way.

When the annoying voice on the GPS system said, "You have one mile to go" I almost peed myself I was so excited.

Alice seemed to speed up and when the GPS got to .1 mile I looked to the right and saw my Jacob standing on the front porch.

He almost didn't seem real to me. He stood there, bathed in the afternoon light, in a tight black t-shirt and my favorite jeans. His hair was down around his shoulders and his skin seemed to glow in the setting of the orange sun.

Alice stopped right at the driveway of Rebecca's house and I tried to get out of the car and couldn't because I forgot to unbuckle my seatbelt and it flung me back into the seat. Jasper burst into a fit of laughter behind me.

I reached to my side and unbuckled my seatbelt and flew straight across the lawn into my Jacob's arms.

**JacobPOV**

The last hour was the absolute worst for me. My dad called twice today to say they had no leads. After each phone call Rebecca would say that I should tell my dad so he wouldn't worry so much. I told her she had full permission to call him, but only after I was out the door and on my way back to Forks.

Paul kept hugging up to Rebecca. I think he was grateful that she realized her mistake in siding with Billy. She had admitted that she would do the exact same thing if she were in Bella's shoes.

I knew it was about time for Bella to get to Rebecca's house. I sat on the front porch, watching the sun go down over the California sky. I couldn't wait to get out of this town and back to the rain and the cold. Crazy as it sounded, those were the small things I had missed, even though it had only been a week. I hadn't taken me long to realize where my home really was.

I watched as the cars drove by, one by one. I'd searched each one for her face.

Standing up to head inside for a glass of lemondae, I saw a shiny silver Volvo turn the corner, pulling to a stop in the driveway. I saw brown hair - but then it disappeared again.

And then it reappeared. I saw Bella's face and for the first time in a week, and I felt whole.

She darted across the lawn to the porch right into my arms. I held her tight and kept kissing the top of her head. I wasn't about to let her go. She looked up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes and said, "You promised me."

"I promised you what?"

"Till death right?"

"Yeah even that can't hold me back."

I took her face into my hands and kissed her softly on the lips. We wrapped our arms around each other and I vowed from that point on to never let her go again.

Rebecca and Paul both came out to greet Bella. I looked across the yard and saw Alice, Edward and Jasper standing near their car. I motioned for them to come up to the house. Alice locked the car and they met us at the steps.

As soon as she was close enough, I swopped Alice up into a big hug. Then I placed her back on the ground and shook Jasper's hand.

Finally, I got to Edward. I looked at him for a moment and saw a sincere look of joy in his face - he was happy that he had been able to help Bella and me.

"Edward, I don't' know how to thank you."

"It wasn't my idea. When you get back into town, you'd better buy Angela a shitload of flowers and dinner. It was her idea for us to come get you."

That girl was the most awesome friend anyone could have - and I was definitely going to take care of her when we got back.

"Still though Edward, you brought my Bella back to me. That is the coolest thing anyone has ever done for me."

I reached my hand out to Edward and he shook my hand then reached for a man-style hug.

Bella looked as though she could have jumped for joy over and over again.

"Would you guys like to come in for a moment?" Rebecca asked everyone.

I looked at her and smiled, quirking my eyebrow.

"Oh ok, get the hell out of here little bro. You deserve some time with Bella. But keep in mind, a road trip can make or break a relationship."

Bella and I both laughed. I grabbed my bag and Jasper took it from me to take to the car. I hugged Rebecca hard and then I thanked Paul for being the best brother-in-law ever.

After everyone said their goodbyes, Edward took the keys from Alice. Due to the size of his little wind up car, I was stuck in the backseat with the girls. Bella whispered into my ear, "Don't worry we won't bite, but Alice might talk your ear off."

I whispered back to her, "I won't be listening to her. All my attention will be on you, my beautiful Bella."

"Good," she said, "We need to get you back to Forks, ASAP… you are due for a kidney transplant."

I looked at her oddly and the rest of the Cullens burst into laughter.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked.

"No. Not really," Bella said.

**CarlislePOV**

The day that I found out Alice and Jasper were in a relationship, I hit the roof. Esme didn't seem too concerned about it and begged that I not send Jasper and his sister Rosalie back to the group home we got them from. I did not like the idea of two of my adopted kids having a relationship under my roof.

Esme, being the kind hearted she was, reminded me what it was like to not be with the one you loved. I met Esme before I started medical school, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. Esme's father hated our being together. Her family was a very well-to- do; old money that resided in one of Chicago's finest suburbs. He tried to pay me off so I would stay away from his daughter. He even went as far as sending her to an all girl's college in England.

Nothing he did though could keep us apart. When I graduated from medical school, my speciality allowed me to join a very prominient practice. I started making more money than he thought I'd ever accumulate in a lifetime. The ironic thing about it all is that his money was all invested in the stock market. When the economy recently bottomed out, he had called us for help. It was only after Esme and I had taken care of some of their bills , that he finally started to appreciate me.

Esme had convinced me that Alice and Jasper's situation wasn't exactly the worst thing that could happen. Alice was the happiest I'd seen her in a very long time, and that spoke volumes.

Then we adopted Emmett and he fell head over heels for Rosalie. That she reciprocated was like an answer to prayer. We were glad that she finally left Edward alone. He wasn't interested in her, and she finally gave up once Emmett arrived.

When Edward and Alice came home from school this past Monday afternoon and told me what happened to Bella, my heart went out to her. I almost caused that same kind of heartache with my own kids, and I couldn't help but feel bad for her and Jacob. Edward told me what Bella's friend Angela asked of him and I couldn't say no.

When I finally got the call from Alice that they had Jacob, I just knew that Billy wasn't going to be ok with the two of them coming back together. I decided to pay Billy a visit, hoping that he would let go of his preconceived notions and listen to me. After all, I'd been in his situation, and I knew how volitaile things could be.

I kissed Esme goodbye. I got into my car and drove to the Black residence. Hopefully he would listen to the voice of reason… and experience.

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A/N: So… do you think Carlisle can convince Billy Black to be more open minded about his son and adopted daughter or do you think he'll still try to keep them apart? Well the only way to find out is to read the next chapter.

I almost feel bad because the story is coming to an end soon. I wanted it to be the 200,000 words I've seen some stories on here be, but I didn't see the point of dragging it out just to piss all of ya'll off and not want to read me anymore. But don't worry, I've got a few more chapters left in me, even with a surprising end… until then, thanks again to CandyP and her never tiring ability to proof and send me inspiration to write. Please read her Pas De Deux (and yes it's team Edward but I'm sure you can forgive her when you read why Eddie C. is such a dick in this one)… See you in chapter 14.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I almost had a complete mental breakdown before posting chapter 13. I'd considered changing some things in it to focus on a possible sequel but then I realized I liked it the way it was. However, my sequel idea has now turned into a whole other story idea. So when Abandon is done, check out my new one to come soon, "Broken Promises." It will still be Team Jake, but in a whole other light. As I write Chapter 14, I'm sitting right beside my space heater… too bad it can't be Jacob Black… he can come warm me up any day… All the characters belong to SM… the big, black space heater to my right however belongs to me…

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**JacobPOV**

Bella fell asleep on my right side and nuzzled up to my chest. Alice also fell asleep, pinning down my left arm. I was helpless. Edward and Jasper were laughing up a storm in the front seat -they thought it was funny that I couldn't move.

We decided to stop just over the California-Oregon border to sleep. When we reached the hotel, I was impressed with the resourcefulness of the Cullen kids.

Alice had required that wherever we stay have not only room service and concierge services available, but also a hot tub - in the room. I found it funny that she and Bella had become such good friends, because they were obviously polar opposites. I was thankful to them, though. Not just for the cash that they had dropped in my rescue mission, but for the way the seemed to genuinely care for Bella and I.

I carried my Bella to the elevator. Once we got to the top floor and into the suite, I carried her into the bedroom. I couldn't wait to sleep next to her. She rolled over in the bed to that she was facing me once I laid her down. She barely opened her eyes, then she smiled sleepily at me and said, "Cuddle session?"

I knelt down beside her and said, "In just a few minutes. I have something I need to take care of."

She nodded and drifted back to sleep. I reached for her phone and dialed Quil's cell phone number.

"H-hello," Quil groggily answered.

"Quil, hey it's Jacob. Sorry to call so late. I wanted to let you know Bella is ok."

Quil sounded like he was trying to compose himself.

"Does Billy know?"

"Actually, no he doesn't. I'm not in Sacramento anymore. The new kids from Bella's school, the Cullens, drove her down to Sacramento to get me."

"Are you kidding me? Billy is going to have a cow when he finds out that she's with you and that you left Rebecca's!"

"I know. Has he said anything to your dad about his plans for tomorrow, or anything?"

Quil cleared his throat, "They're dragging the lake tomorrow to see if they can find Bella. Don't make him suffer anymore, Jacob. He's already feeling horrible enough for the things he's done. I overheard him telling my dad that he thinks it was a mistake to send you away."

So my Dad could admit his mistake to everyone except me? What was doing? Trying to save face?

"Quil, I need you to do me a favor. Tomorrow morning, go straight to my dad and tell him that Bella called you. Tell him she said that she's fine but that she wouldn't go into details. I'll handle it from there."

"Jacob, I don't know about this..."

"Please Quil, I really need your help. I'll make it up to you one day. When you find that one girl you've always dreamed about, I promise you I won't give you shit for it."

Quil laughed. "Fine Jacob, I'll do it. But you know I suck at lying."

"Just do all you can until I get home tomorrow afternoon."

I got off the phone with Quil and slid into bed next to my Bella. She was sleeping so soundly. I pulled her close to me and she molded her body to mine. I fell asleep holding onto an angel.

**BellaPOV**

I couldn't believe I spent almost the entire night sleeping when I should have been studying the face of the one person I couldn't stand to ever lose again. I woke up the next morning in his arms, and realized it didn't matter - I didn't lose him. As long as I was near him, I felt so much better.

The five of us got up and got dressed. Alice had been careful to make sure Edward did not park in a restricted zone last night so we could get a great start on the day. We ate breakfast down in the lobby, all feeling better from the night's rest.

We told Jacob the story of the boot and how I lied and said he needed a kidney transplant to get the guy to come down and remove it before the late afternoon. Jacob couldn't believe that I snatched the phone out of Edward's hands - and was exciting to have that bit of information to tease Edward with.

We packed the car and were off to Forks. The car ride was spent with Alice talking Jacob's ear off. I warned him, and he took it all in stride. He knew that he had gotten off lucky last night. Alice and I were both too exhausted to even carry on a conversation - but she was definitely making up for lost time.

Jasper pulled out a sheet of paper and a marker and wrote "Honk if you love blondes" and kept holding it up to the windows. Alice hit him in the back of the head. The Cullen kids kept us laughing so hard my sides hurt by the time we stopped for lunch.

Alice refused fast food again and said that she would pick this time. Jacob asked if needed a tie. Alice said he might.

She didn't subject us to fine dining, but, nonetheless, it was really good. I looked around the table and found myself a part of something I had longed for my whole life.

I felt like I belonged to… a family. Charlie and I had our own little close knit family but that was because we didn't have anyone else. Jacob had his sisters, his dad and a tight knit family of reservation members. But looking at Jasper, Alice and Edward, I felt like these were my long lost brothers and sisters, and I felt like a member of their family.

Jacob smiled and looked at me adoringly. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such caring friends and my heart was finally full. For the longest time it had been filled with hate and sadness because of everything I'd lost. But when I realized all the things I had gained in the process, I felt whole and complete for the first time.

I almost hated for our trip to end. I knew it wouldn't be any time before we were back in Forks. Edward was driving like a mad man and thank goodness the Cullens thought to put a radar detector in their car. I once glanced up and saw the needle on the speedometer pushing 100. I tried not to think about, focusing in on Alice's one-sided conversation.

As the sun began to set over the horizon, we were an hour outside of Forks. I started to get nervous. I was not looking forward to what was waiting on us when we reached the reservation.

But, deep in my heart, I knew it couldn't compare to being without Jacob.

**BillyPOV**

I hated the thought of even trying to get some sleep. I was so scared that Bella would come home and I wouldn't know it. I sat on the front porch, listening to the waves crashing on the shore and looking up at the night sky. Every now and then, a cloud would pass in front of the full moon, darkening my already dark night. I began to feel horrible for my decision to move Jacob to Sacramento.

I saw a set of headlights appear in my driveway, then a car I'd never seen before pulled into my yard. A tall blonde man, who looked awfully younger than me, walked up to my steps. He was very well dressed - I instantly started to feel sick. I just knew was coming to tell me bad news about Bella.

"Are you Billy Black?" the blonde man asked me.

"Yes I am. Can I help you with something?"

"I'm hoping to help you, actually. I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I'm here to talk to you about Bella."

"Oh dear God, please tell me nothing bad has happened to her!" I said, my desperation making my voice quiver.

I felt the tears beginning to well up. I'd let Charlie down. I'd let Jacob down. I didn't know how I could face him again.

"Actually, she's fine. I think you and I have something in common."

"How do you know she's fine? Has she called you?"

"Mr. Black, calm down. Let me explain."

I tried to shake off the tears and let the man finish.

"My wife, Esme and I were unable to have children, even though it was the one thing we wanted more anything in our marriage. She has the kindest heart, and it killed me the day we found out we couldn't conceive. So we decide to adopt."

"First came Edward and Alice. They are fraternal twins. We adopted them at a young age, and as the years flew by, Esme wanted more children. So, we adopted Jasper and Rosalie when they were young teenagers. The four of them seemed to get along beautifully. However, after a couple of months, I found out that Jasper and Alice were having a secret relationship. I was beyond furious; and threatened to send Jasper and Rosalie back to their group home."

"I see what you mean when you say we have a lot in common. I sent my Jacob away because he and Bella were sneaking around behind my back," I said to Dr. Cullen.

"Yes I know."

"Esme wouldn't have any part in removing anyone from our house. They had settled in so well with us - we knew we couldn't send them back to their former life. In fact, instead of sending them back, we adopted Emmett. So now, I have a house full of teenagers - and my wife and I couldn't be happier."

"You do have your hands full, Dr. Cullen. But I don't understand what this has to do with Bella. I know that I shouldn't have sent Jacob away. But are you going to tell me where the hell Bella is?"

"She's gone to Sacramento to get Jacob."

My face turned a bright shade of red.

"Then why, _Doctor_ - when the cops came to question you, did you tell them that you hadn't seen Bella?"

"Mr. Black, please hear me out. If there is one thing I've learned about living in a house full of teenagers, it's that they will figure out a way to get what they want.

"My son Edward came home and said that Angela, Bella's close friend, was extremely worried about Bella. She was so happy when Bella finally started to open up more, and she knew what needed to be done."

"Edward asked my permission to take Bella to Sacramento to get Jacob. I knew that, if I told him no, my wife would have killed me. Alice, Edward and Jasper drove her straight down there, and they are on their way back now. They should be here sometime tomorrow."

I wanted so badly to tell Dr. Cullen to get off my property. I wanted to have him arrested for accessory to kidnapping. Part of me even wanted to strangle him for not telling anyone that Bella was fine.

I couldn't find it in myself to go through with any of that, though. My mind was very curious about something else.

"How do you do it, Dr. Cullen? How do you stay on your toes, and make sure they don't screw up?"

"I trust them. They haven't done anything to prove me wrong so far. They always come to me when they need something; and even though they don't always get what they want, they don't feel the need to keep things from me. I'm sure if you made it clear to Bella and Jacob how you feel about their relationship and set some ground rules, they'd adhere to them."

I studied the man's face. He had to be at least ten years my junior, yet he had an obvious wisdom about him - especially where this matter was concerned.

However, I still felt like I couldn't handle this under my roof.

"Dr. Cullen, I just can't seem to get past this though. I hate keeping them apart, but I hate the thought of them having a relationship under my roof. It seems like I'm condoning things that I was brought up to believe are not right."

"I've talked to Esme about this, Mr. Black, and I didn't just come here to tell you my story. I think we can come up with a temporary solution," Dr. Cullen said.

**BellaPOV**

We made it to Forks just as the sky completely turned black. The stars were a barely visible tonight. As we drove down to La Push, I felt like I couldn't go through with this. I tried so hard to figure out a way to stay away. But when I realized then that my birthday was still several months away, I knew that I had no other choice.

I'd considered seeing if I could get my money earlier so I could live on my own. I even considered getting a job, anything to keep from being away from Jacob.

As Edward pulled into our driveway, Billy was waiting on the porch. Standing beside him were Quil and Dr. Cullen. Edward, Alice and Jasper were all confused as to why he was here, but I didn't even want to consider what the possibilities were.

The five of us crawled out of the car and Edward popped the trunk for Jacob and me to retrieve our bags.

Jacob and I walked hand in hand to the steps. We braced ourselves for the next obstacle.

Billy smiled at Jacob and said, "Welcome home son, I've missed you."

Billy reached his arms open and Jacob let go of my hand. He headed straight into his father's arms.

The two of them broke down into tears - and I don't think there was a dry eye around them either. After their long embrace ended, Billy looked down at me.

I was waiting for the "I'm very disappointed in you" speech that most fathers give their children after they'd done something completely stupid. Instead, he reached his arms out for me, too. I quickly made my way up the steps and into the arms of my Jake and the man who'd been my father figure for the past four months.

Jacob and I sat up and composed ourselves. Billy looked up at us, and began to speak as we dried our tears.

"The two of you should feel very lucky to have the friends you have. Dr. Cullen came by last night to tell me about what was going on. I want to first say that I'm sorry for not trusting the two of you. I overreacted and I feel bad about that."

"I promised Charlie I would take care of you, Bella. I felt like I'd let him and you down when you left. Promise me you won't do something like that again. You are like a daughter to me - and it tore me up inside when I had no idea where you were. I'm really glad you are ok."

Jacob and I both glanced at each other. We were waiting for the "but."

"But," _there it was_, "I don't like the idea of the two of you continuing your relationship under my roof. It's not that I don't trust you, I just can't keep an eye on the two of you all the time."

Jacob and I looked at each other as if the past forty-eight hours were for nothing.

"Billy, please, I can't stand being torn away from him again."

"I know, Bella. But I've, I mean we've, come up with a solution that should not only appease you, but me too."

"And what exactly is that?" Jacob asked.

"Bella, you need to get your things together. You are moving out tonight."

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A/N: Yes, I know short chapter. Sorry about that. I have to keep you in suspense but I promise, you won't be disappointed.

Huge thanks to CandyP who sat through my 4 revised emails while I was making up my mind what exactly I needed in these chapters. She was very patient with me and it is very awesome of her to put up with me every single night. You need to read her "Pas De Deux" and then leave her a comment asking her about the balloon/saran wrapped cow…

Chapter 15 to follow once I learn reading comprehension skills in my Psychology class… I think I've got a grasp on it… so I'll be writing it during class, just for you!


	15. Abandon Chapter 15 The End

**A/N: I know you can all hate me later for keeping you in suspense. You guys have been the most awesome group of people ever for sticking it out with me. Now, the conclusion of "Abandon." Oh and btw.. I figured out how to get you the play list: **www. playlist. com /playlist/18211802891 **take the spaces out :)**

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**BellaPOV**

I felt like everything we'd done to be together was all in vain.

I looked at all the faces around me. Edward, Alice and Jasper looked defeated. Jacob looked like he could either cry or start cussing. But when I looked at Carlisle's face, I realized that maybe it wasn't as bad as the rest of us were thinking it was.

Jacob however, didn't take notice and spoke out.

"Dad, please for the love of God, don't send Bella to one of those awful homes. She'll never survive there! You saw the way she talked to us the first couple of months. She'll end up in juvenile court before it's all over with."

Billy giggled a bit. "Jacob, I'm not sending her away to live a home. Well, I am sending her a way to live in a home, but not one like that."

Jacob looked confused, but I already had it figured out.

"Bella is going to live with the Cullens."

A smile slowly spread over my face. I already felt like they were family to me, and I knew that this was the best way to keep everyone happy. I'd have a place to live until I could be on my own. Jacob and I could see each other on a regular basis. I knew this was the best possible solution to our problem.

Jacob's facial expression lifted - he reached down to hug his dad, and so did I. I got up and rushed to hug Dr. Cullen. Alice, Edward and Jasper seemed very pleased. I went straight up to Alice and said, "So, do you mind having another sister?"

"Not at all! I'm sure we'll get along much better than Rosalie and I. Besides, I'll get to spoil you rotten the first couple of months. Be prepared to be a life sized dress up doll."

I shook my head. Jasper reached down and hugged me.

"Finally, a sister I don't have to hear blabber about fashion. It'll be good to have you around."

Edward stood silently, his lips pursed together. Then he smiled.

"I'm glad you'll be coming to stay with us. You'll make a great sister."

Everyone was in such an elated mood - I felt like nothing could stand in the way of my happiness.

The rest of my new family stayed outside while Jacob and I went to my room, which would now be his room again, and packed my clothes and belongings. I couldn't take everything at once, so I got the bare essentials. This weekend the Cullens would come back and help me move completely.

"You know Bella, I was preparing myself when Dad said you were leaving. I'd already started planning how I would come bust you out so we could run away together."

I smiled at Jacob, "You know that wouldn't have been necessary."

"And why is that?"

"Well I would have already busted myself out and come back to you before you got to me."

Jacob playfully hit my arm with his fist and then pulled me close to him. He stared at me into my eyes.

"Bella Swan, I missed you. I'm glad you are right back in my arms, where you're supposed to be. Don't let those Cullen kids turn you into anything different."

"Don't worry Jacob, I'll always be your Bella."

"Till death right?" I said.

"And even that can't stop me then," Jacob replied as he pressed his lips to mine.

**JacobPOV**

Even though Bella doesn't live under my roof anymore, we still see each other every single day. I although I hate to admit it, it's good to be able to sleep in my bed again. I finally found a new car for her, but she didn't want the car. She wanted my old rusty truck. She said that when she drove it, it reminded her of me and she liked that. I ended up getting a smaller car for myself and making repairs on it.

We still meet on the docks every single Monday after school to talk to her dad. She seems more at peace with herself than ever before.

She also seems to be more focused on the future. She promised to wait on me to graduate from high school, and then the two of us will figure out which college to attend. Rebecca offered for us to come out to Sacramento for college, but Bella really likes it here in Forks, so we'll probably stay closer to home.

She finally quit taking her Sunday sleeping pill and Alice says that she's adjusting very well to the Cullen house. Alice has spoiled her rotten, just like she promised she would. Edward, Jazz and Emmett come over to my house and we do guy stuff or play games of pool down at the rec center on the reservation when I'm not spending time with my Bella. Jasper can run a table in a heartbeat. I've learned the hard way to not bet against him anymore.

Sam still hasn't apologized for the things he did. I think he's still bitter for the Bella incident. Quil and I have remained the best of friends and he finally got a cute girlfriend. I set him and Angela up on a blind date and they haven't been able to be separated since.

My dad also seems happier. Just this morning, I left him sitting on the porch with a wide smile on his face. He seems more at ease. And after everything the three of us went through, I'm glad that he finally put things behind him.

Bella and I met up at the docks and talked to her Dad for a bit today. I don't know what it's like to lose both parents, but I know losing one was bad enough. I think it's made both Bella and I stronger, and I hope she sees that too.

I watched as she sat back in the sun and it hit her like little beams of liquid happiness. She smiled up at me, and spoke in her angelic voice.

"You know, I think Dad would have wanted it this way."

"I think he would have, too. I feel like he helped make all this happen for us."

"I think that too. It's a miracle that Billy didn't kill me and you both, but we both got what we wanted out of it."

"And exactly what is that?" I asked her.

"You got me back, and I got the family I always wanted."

And with that she sat up and kissed me softly on the lips.

"I love you my Jacob."

"I love you too, my Bella."

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**A/N: I actually cried writing this. I felt like I was saying goodbye to Bella and Jacob myself. I finally got the happy ending I wanted for them from the beginning. Big props to livelife123463** **for figuring out my ending. When I saw that comment I was happy that she caught where I was going with it.**

**I'm posting the epilogue after this. I wanted to show you the back story of one character I've stayed away from because this is a Team Jacob story… you don't have to read if you don't want to.. but I threw it in there.. almost as a "haha, how does that feel, take that…" (Sorry team Edward readers.)**

**Big HUGE thanks to my family and friends who, even though thought I was odd for spending 3-6 hours a night writing each chapter, still supported me in it. CandyP deserves the biggest thanks of them all. I've known this girl since she rocked her Wayne's World hat in the 6th grade and she's the ALL to the Some… Thanks so much… 1 MILLION flannel points to you!**


	16. Abandon Epilogue

**This was a part I almost put in Abandon, but I kept it strictly Jacob/Bella. If I had to imagine what Edward was thinking about Bella, besides friendship, this is what I would imagine him to go through. I almost put this in chapter four, right before Jacob and Bella met in the rain. And then almost did an EPOV after Sacramento. I'm actually glad I didn't.**

_"I was not the one she was destined to say yes to. It was someone else, someone human and warm. And I could not let myself - someday, when that yes was said - hunt him down and kill him, because she deserved him, whoever he was. She deserved happiness and love with whoever she chose._

_I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only ____in danger__ of loving this girl._

_After all, it didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love. Never." -__Edward Cullen__, __Midnight Sun__ p108_

**EdwardPOV**

We were in town a whole week before my dad got us completely registered for school here. I was extremely depressed with the idea of moving to Forks, Washington. I'd never even heard of the place until my dad told us we were moving here. He accepted a position as the chief of emergency medical services. Everyone seemed to be taking it in stride, even my frustratingly angry adopted sister, Rosalie.

We were living in Juno, Alaska for the longest time. It had started to feel like home.

My parents were married at a very young age, while my father was still attending medical school. Esme, my adopted mother, fell severely ill the first year of their marriage. She wasn't able to have children so she and Carlisle decided the best thing to do was to adopt.

My sister Alice and I were the first to be adopted. After us came Jasper and Rosalie, and then Emmett.

I don't know how on earth my dad and mom decided they could handle all of us. Part of me always wondered if they weren't a little insane. I myself was very thankful that they got Alice and I out of that horrible foster home we lived in. The conditions we suffered through should not be wished upon any child.

My first impressions of Forks left me devastated. I was used to the cold, yes that wasn't a problem for me. But the rain got to me the most. The day we moved into our house in the woods, it rained. It hasn't stopped since we got here, and if it does, it's only for a spurt.

When the first day of school finally arrived, I couldn't wait to get out of this house. Since we had arrived, I had been holed up in my room and didn't budge. I was still angry with my parents - and at the world in general.

I got dressed and headed downstairs to meet up with Alice. She and Jasper were riding with me today and the two of them in the same car was more than enough for me to bear. They'd been a couple almost since the first day Jasper and Rosalie came to live with us.

My dad almost sent Jasper and Rosalie back to the children's home they came from, but Esme quickly turned that down. She told my dad that they would just have to live with them as a couple. She couldn't bear to tear them apart. When Emmett moved in with us, he and Rosalie hit it off instantly. I was glad - she was becoming increasingly annoying in her advances to me.

I'd always been the one kid in the house that never brought home a date. I'd never even attempted to be interested in the whole dating scene. The useless things that girls my age would talk about seemed to turn me off -I couldn't find someone on my level. So I pushed away the desire to be with anyone and concentrated on other things like my music and poetry.

As we pulled into the parking lot of Forks High School, I looked out the rearview mirror to watch the other students, waiting to see them begin to file into class. I had no desire to be stared at that day, and Alice and Jasper were in their own little world in the back seat of my car. I put my ear buds from my iPod in and listened to music, still watching the students.

Then I saw her. She was standing beside a decently pretty girl with dark hair and glasses. Despite her average dressing, she held beauty in her face unlike anything I've seen before. I worried about her, though, because looked like she hadn't slept in weeks. I wondered what on earth could possibly keep her awake night after night.

I watched as she stared back at my car and she whispered something to her friend. The bell finally sounded and the students started to file in. My hand reached for the door to open it, but then I saw her turn back around and look again. I stopped myself and when she turned around to back into the door I finally opened the car door. Alice and Jasper filed out with me.

The first day of school seemed to go by so slowly for me. Watching everyone stare me down the first two periods seemed to wear me out. I tried very hard to not make eye contact with everyone - and tried not to be irritated that the girls couldn't keep their eyes off me. I met up with Alice in the lunch room and we found an empty table big enough for us and the rest of my family.

I glanced up to see the beautiful brown haired girl step foot into the cafeteria. She stood for a second staring my direction and whispered something to her friend again. They took a seat and she kept looking back towards our direction. I wanted to knnow all about her - and then it was as if Alice read my mind.

"Edward, what are you looking at?"

I nodded in the direction of the girl. Alice smiled back at me.

"That's Bella Swan. She's my lab partner in Biology."

I watched as she walked towards our table and instantly felt my toes tingle and my heart speed up. She walked so gracefully, yet she had a small stumble in her step. She looked nervous as hell, and I longed to know what was going through her mind.

Alice immediately started talking to her. The entire conversation floored me.

This girl had gone through the same kind of things that my brothers and sisters had. I felt even more attracted to her than I should.

On Tuesday morning, I sat in my car watching the students head into class again. This time I noticed that Bella was consoling her friend and I was worried to death about the situation. Her friend seemed to be crying and Bella hugged her tightly. The bell sounded and Angela, as I had learned the friend's name was, took off to the building. Bella stayed behind, finding shelter from the rain under the tree. She took a seat on her book bag and put her face into her hands.

It didn't take me long to see that she was crying, too. I wanted to jump out and see what was bothering her, but I didn't want her to know that I was watching her from afar. She stood up and put her hood from her jacket over her head and began walking off campus. I wanted to follow her and make sure she was ok. But again, not wanting her to see me, I waited until she was far enough away so that I could pull my car out of the parking lot.

I sat patiently watching. I was far enough behind her on the side of the road that she couldn't see me as I continued watching her walk farther and farther away. She seemed to be determined as to where she was going - and then stopped. She reached for her iPod to change songs and then started on her march again. I was two seconds from pulling up behind her to see if she needed a ride somewhere when a rusty, red-colored, older model pickup truck stopped in front of her.

I watched as the driver got out and stood behind the truck waiting on her. I was worried about who this guy was, but as soon as I saw her embrace him, my heart broke.

I quickly realized that she had a boyfriend and I was overcome with sadness. For the first time in my existence, I had allowed myself to fall for a girl and she was unattainable.

I watched as they got into his truck and drove away. I blinked away the tears before they started to fall.

The next couple of days were spent with me trying to play the nice-guy, friend role - but I didn't know if I could handle it. I had no way of telling Alice how I felt, so I left it alone. I didn't want her to think I was uncomfortable being around Bella. Alice needed friends. I didn't want to ruin what seemed like a wonderful friendship for her. Besides, I'd rather have Bella around me than to push her away.

I wanted to test the waters to see how involved she was with the mystery man in the truck.

Right after lunch one day, I decided to make my move. When I asked her about Jacob, she said that they were just technically roommates. But when I looked into her eyes, I realized that she was hiding something. She was keeping their relationship a secret. I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, I still had a chance.

After she turned me down, I knew I would see at the campsite how she really felt about this guy. When she confessed to me that they were in fact a couple, I smiled to hide the pain I actually felt.

I was being tortured as I looked at her, knowing that the angel staring back at me would never be mine.

When Jacob left her, I wanted to tell her how I felt more than anything in this world. But she was in so much pain that I didn't want to confuse matters more for her. I decided that the best thing to do was to help her get Jacob back.

The two days we spent together on the road trip to Sacramento were the best days of my life. Bella was such a fun girl to be around, and it took every bit of strength I had to not tell her how I truly felt.

When we arrived in Sacramento, I didn't want to pull up to the house. My heart broke when she leapt from the car and the two of them embraced.

But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'd done the right thing for once in my life. I only hoped that one day, I'd find a love as strong as what they possess.

Until then, I'll just sit back, and watch him take care of my Bella. And when, or if, the day comes that he makes the wrong move again, I'll be there. And I'll gladly pick up the pieces for her again.


End file.
